Summer pre-S5. Jim's in Scranton - Pam's in New York. Just little a set of vignettes - week by week until they're together again.
So sorry it's taken me a while to review - little frenetic here the last couple of days. But, your updates have been my happy pill. As always, I love how they love each other in your fics - and here especially, how their relationship is elastic enough to include Pam's expanding world (have always been on board with the idea of her teaching, btw) and Jim's struggles to find his footing at work/in the world. You make it so natural and believable. And a little confused/frustrated Jim needing to get his ya-ya's out horizontally? Yeah, that works too ;-) This was a joy - thanks, babe. Late is certainly better than never. :) I'm not ashamed to admit that I tend to live vicariously through our dear Pamela. I firmly believe everyone should have someone who loves them like that. I'll let you know when I've found mine - hopefully soon. Maybe when I'm nosing around West Hollywood later this week. Hmmmmmmmmmmm. LOL! And re: Jim and his ya-ya's - I wanted him to be scared that this little "set back" would cause him to maybe lose her (all the delays when she was with Roy etc coming back to haunt them both) and so I imagined the way he'd get around that part of the discussion was proving to her that he wanted her. KWIM? Anyway - glad it worked. Right back at you babe. The very least I could do. :)
Author's Response:
But he was grateful whenever his mind would allow him to think of Karen, to think of possibility instead of pain. Even if he was just distracting himself, and he knew it, he could pretend for a minute that his heart wasn’t broken.
And there's S3 Jim. Beautiful. I also love the detail about his ties all being dumped on the breakfast bar - so evocative of how distraught he was at that point, and how painfully alone. Ouch. And his reply message (love how he rationalizes that texting isn't as desperate as calling) is a fantastic mini-cliffhanger, in 3 letters. Can't wait.
Still really enjoying this - I especially like Pam's reaction to hearing Jim say the things he never would sober. This was very apt: Since he had left, he had become this almost mythical person for her, her fairy tale knight in shining armor, but hearing him last night made her realize that he was very real and hurting. It was almost like she was seeing him for the first time without all the games they used to play to hide from each other.
I think that's precisely how she saw him - like he was somehow in suspended animation, there for her once she sorted herself out - hence her profound disappointment in TM when he actually returned, but...not. But I digress...you've written this the way I wish it had happened, and made it so in character that it feels like it actually could have.
Exactly. I think Pam never got the depth of the feelings he had for her. I'm certain that she thought they would pick up where they left off.....and then when the timing was better they would get together. I'm glad you're still enjoying it. I've been so surprised at the response to this fic, but I couldn't be happier that people like it and that it makes sense to you. Thanks for taking a moment to review!
A story of death, love and Mose. And lots of beets. Spoilers to the end of S4.
Sorry it's taken me so long to comment (life a bit crazy chez moi lately) but was so happy to see something new from you! But here I am and THIS is incredible - it comes as close as anything I've read her to truly being 'original' fiction.
We know so little about Mose, that you really had to invent this character/life - and you've done that SO convincingly, while still weaving in the bits of Schrutiana we do know, to keep it conceptually true to the Office universe we do know. Very, very impressive. Lines like this: Throughout the day, the house's inhabitants ebb and flow like the tide in Helsinki Harbor (love that!) and so many wonderful idiosyncratic details (the grandparents' simultaneous deaths and his fascination with the funeral prep - perfect) make it come alive and precisely capture Mose's peculiar universe. Yet it never feels like parody, because you've made him so affecting that we really feel for him - almost reminds me of a great John Irving character who grows up in a semi-surreal circumstance that somehow makes complete sense within the reality of the story. Just so poignant and fun and inventive - this is one I'll re-read many times.
What can I say to such a generous comment except thank you so much? It was a pleasure for me to spend time with Mose and his life and I'm grateful others enjoyed the product.
I'm so ashamed to admit that I had to google John Irving. But now that I know who he is, I'm very excited to read all his novels. It sounds like something I could definitely get behind.
Thanks again for commenting! I know you have fic I have to catch up on, so I'm looking forward to it!
L.
Is there life and love after Jam?First, Ms. Wendolf -no more fretting! Your reviews have been abundantly positive -so what if there were a couple of not so besotted ones? Come on, gf - this fic is being well loved ;-) Second, I really don't see any scandale here - this is hardly the first fic where they don't end up together - and few others I've read are this well written. It's a fic, not a prognostication - and you're pulling it off with wit, grace and skill. So, on to my real review:
I like the structure of the end of his relationship with Pam contra-posted with the start of his one with Emily. I like how you worked in the doc aspect - very clever. I like Emily, I like how you've made it natural and easy with her. (Love her line about looking his fave wine up on Wiki - hee!) And you've made Jim very Jim-ish here, and lord knows I love me some Jim. So win win win win....
I had to suspend disbelief at the start, simply that Pam would change that radically, that quickly and that Jim would suddenly decide not to propose based on an abstract idea (seeded by his bro') about what it would seem like with her going away (since he'd still be seeing her regularly) and some notion of 'maturity' (especially since it made Pam unhappy.) But, as in many fics, I accepted that premise within the reality of the story - but unlike in many fics, you made me get past my initial questions and get caught up in the narrative anyway. So, yay for you! So, let's hear what happens next ;-)
Jim comes back, Pam's late, and it's time to talk. Takes place in the summer between S3 and S4.You weave a good yarn, my dear. You also capture that initial, awkward phase of a sexual relationship (especially given their history) really well - totally besotted, yet still kind of non-plus'd by it too. (I love that Jim is aware of her girl-stuff, what with the warm hands on the belly and concern about her being late and such. Makes him all the more bite-able.) First person is hard to pull off - but I definitely recognize Pam here. No disconnect. Please make us some more soon ;-)
Author's Response: Hi, Colette - Thanks so much for your feedback. Good, biteable boys are required, by law, to be aware of girl stuff. It seemed very in character to me. And I\'m glad you thought I managed the first person. I do think I prefer writing in 3rd, but it\'s an interesting experiment nonetheless.
Jim comes home late at night...
Fluffy and spoiler-free. Just wishful thinking on my part!
Wonderful atmospheric details about Jim coming home late at night, in the storm. So vivid - I especially love the chalk disintegrating in the water. And how sweet is it that he stops to load the dw for her? That's real life romance.
This is just so warm and cozy and natural and full of heart. And that last bit is also crazy sexy in the most understated, deliciously believable way. Yum. Thanks, kells - what a treat.
Oh thank you so much, Colette. I love your reviews. The chalk on the sidewalk is pretty much a given in front of our house during a rainstorm, lol, and I thought maybe Jim and Pam's house might be the same way when they had kids one day. (what? yes, I know these are fictional people, ;) ).
I'm also glad that last part worked okay - I was worried that it would seem out of place with the rest of the fic, but then I also thought that it would illustrate the sensuality they are able to maintain even years from now when they are married with kids.
I'm so glad you enjoyed this, thank you for reading!
A colorful look at the evolution of Pam and Jim's relationship.Finally got a chance to read this - I agree with everyone who likes seeing Pam as the crusher, not just the crushee. I think her denial was never as seamless as she liked to believe ;-) And she always did expect things from him, didn't she? Just not all he wanted to give her...ironic. Especially loved the shopping scene - nicely ordinary and intimate (good callback to Michael's B'day too.) Finally, I had them have a Georgia O'Keefe convo in a fic once too - so, I agree Pam would like her. The implicit sexuality in that choice is interesting - just like there's more beyond Pam's 'delicate flower' exterior. Anyway, enjoying this and looking forward to more!
Author's Response: Hey Colette, I totally agree that Pam was not as oblivious or innocent as she maybe wanted everyone to think. In the FTC she talks about the character in Room With a View being \'torn between passion and convention\' -- a nice little parallel to the choice she had to make. Anyway, I\'m glad you liked this! I don\'t remember an O\'Keeffe in any of your fics, now I have to go find it. Thanks for reading! :)
Just caught up on these wonderful bite-size everyday moments. Aw, this one was especially well done - the tense tone of their silent fight comes through so tautly (her mumbled comment about just wanting to look at things was straight from the passive/aggressive playbook - and I also knew that she instantly regretted saying it.) I agree that at their worst moments - much as they've gotten past it - that vestige of remorse from their deep history would bubble to the surface. And then dissipate ;-) And I like that their 'make-up' wasn't a big melodramatic scene, but a quiet, sleepy one. Jim's comment about the quesadillas was a great Jim-ish bit to keep the moment from being overly maudlin too. (And it made me laugh, cause Mr. C. sometimes makes a quip about this trout - of all things - I once made, like...oh, 10 years ago, LOL.)
Author's Response: Hi Colette! Glad you had time to stop by! Very nice to hear that you didn\'t think that make-up scene was melodramatic, which I feared it was, a little. And of course Jim would find a way to lighten it up when the main issue was addressed. I guess I see everything between them being quiet, even their fights. The version I had with angry words and raised voices just didn\'t feel right. Thanks for leaving your comments! I always appreciate hearing from you. :)
Cinderella meets Groundhog Day meets Dr. Gregory House. Pam will never be the same. (Set during S3's Ben Franklin.)I love how fanciful this idea is, Mox - House as her imaginary friend! Who'd have thunk it? Perfect character to be her tough-love alter-ego. And you have his voice down so well - yikes, you're scaring me!
Wow. Great chapter, Mox. Really taut and tense - Jim's simmering anger and Pam's nervousness, then courage, then defeat, were so palpable. And you're still scaring me with how well you channel House. Really liking this.
There's still something insanely entertaining about this premise - and the way you tell the story.(May actually be my fave of yours.) I love House figuratively slapping Jim upside his head, once he'd convinced himself Pam had pulled a 180. And I love even more that Pam just heard knock on her door. Make her answer it soon! (Or I'll send House to haunt your dreams;-)
Another Olympic lover here - so, this was topical and sweet and satisfying. Love that Jim is measuring time in 4 yr intervals - now, that's (appropriate) optimism! And what a great way for them to stay connected while she's in NYC and also to call back Office Olympics - one of their finest moments as a team. ;-)
Author's Response:
I just love the way they relate to each other, and I think there are probably a million little things like this, that they just get about each other. Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
A golf pencil, two hot sauce packets, a Boggle timer, a mixtape, a high school yearbook photo, a card, and a teapot. Yup.Talk about 'filling in gaps'. This pretty much perfectly captures how I imagine Jim's first TH interview must have been - how raw he was with longing yet trying so hard to maintain his cover. Love how you don't have him even mention Pam when asked who his friends are at work. Also liked him getting ahead of himself, thinking how she could quit her hated job and he cold support them...then deflecting it with a joke ( "Well, you're no Dwight," he gestured toward the closed door with his head...) Closed door indeed.
Sweet and aching and full of layers of repressed meaning - just as a fic about Jim's state of mind during that era should be.
Oh my this hurts. Sexy and wrenching and such a lyrical but unflinching look into Jim's heart/head at that point.
She was in charge, he made sure of that, because he needed to know that she wanted him; that when she rolled onto her back, she was pulling, not being pushed;
Love that.
I especially liked this chapter. Others have already mentioned lines/parts I thought were wonderful, but have to say the non-moment, where he leans into her outside the breakroom, was especially touching- captured that whole S2 in-denial vibe so well. Also, when he watches Mark put his arm around Melissa while watching tv and longs for that ordinary affection/connection with Pam - reminded me of FR and how content he seemed just to be able to finally hold her hand. Great dialogue throughout, very natural. And I'm glad you didn't divulge exactly what he'd written in the card - I like that being private, just between them. Nice clean language, lots of emotion without overwriting it - really a satisfying read, much enjoyed.
Author's Response: Hey, Colette - it\'s always great to get a review from you. I wrote and re-wrote that scene that you pointed to. It\'s actually difficult to hit the correct S2 tone - Jim\'s tendency to occassionally overstep his boundaries; Pam\'s refusal to acknowledge it; and the reader/viewer\'s overwhelming desire to strangle both of them - so I\'m glad you think I\'ve managed it. Thank you for the compliment on the dialog and for affirming my decision to exclude the contents of the card (even though I did write it). Looking forward to something new from you, hon. *nudge*
Pam struggles with doubt and suspicion when Jim's behavior over the summer doesn't make sense.Just when I was about to throttle Jim for his obtuseness about Pam's distress, kaboom - total redemption. What better symbol of their future than this house that has real history for him and he put his own sweat equity into? Nice foreshadowing of him providing her with a sense of place/comfort with buying her the mattress too.(And really, he was only doing his duty by breaking it in ;-) I like how you wrote this as a series of mini-vignettes - like brief scenes on film that all culminate in the image of the house.
Maybe this fic is a little metaphor for our own where the hell is the ring already anxiety this summer? (And btw - that promo shows them kissing in a dorm room, not a kitchen. Oh well.)
Hey, I know where the ring is. In my universe, it's in a Jell-O mold....
Thanks for your review, Colette. I'm glad you liked the vignettes; wasn't sure the pacing would work but I guess it turned out okay. I'm so glad, as always, to get your opinion on this.
Pam, Jim, a first date and lots of alcohol.This is very, very good. Great dialogue - their particular humor and understanding and their nervousness come through so clearly and naturally. Your insight into how they must have felt together that first night is just as I imagine them - and I like how you say just enough to express that, without over-writing or belaboring it. I really love your last paragraph - what a perfect metaphor to describe their history. On to the next chapter...
Author's Response: Wow, thanks so much for those kind words, Colette. Coming from one of my favorite authors, that really means a lot.
And there they are. The names they've been avoiding all night. Like heat-seeking missiles, they find their opposing targets and the air changes, thickens.
Wow, so well said. This chapter is a great balance of touching, sweet, funny and so beautifully achey. (Loved the taxi scene. I could so picture his face - nice callback to DD.) I especially like how straightforward you made them - no big melodrama, just a little liquid courage and they simply tell each other how they feel. So much truer to character, I think, than fics where it takes endless soapy shenanigans to reach that moment. And their morning-after kitchen convo is so lovely, (checkers, crank calling Dwight...hee!) - I could really feel how much they 'hated' each other and their giddy, unmasked (even if hung-over) joy - and relief - in that moment.
There may be a lot of first date fics out there, but this one really feels fresh and clear and true. Beautifully written.
Aw, Toby. I like how you included a perfectly in-character little taste of the characters, in how they each reacted to seeing him. Dwight's was perfect, as was Creed's...and somehow, in Michael-think, telling everyone he was dead makes perfect sense ;-) Thanks for this bite-size snack!
Jim Halpert is a high school English teacher starting a new life at a new school in a new town.
You already know how much I loved the idea for this story, but you blew me away with the execution.You've written Jim, in another time/place/persona - yet, still vividly Jim. And, with just a few well-chosen details, created another - prep school - world (footnote #1, the description of faculty meetings)...a whole sense of place. And then you had to throw in that Neruda poem and him burying his face in her clothes? Oh, my heart!
Here's what I love best: you started with a solid, original idea and then you didn't just tell us about it, you WROTE it. You took care with the words, phrasing and rhythm of the language - you don't just give us paragraphs explaining how he feels, you used language to lushly evoke it. Your last sentence is case in point.
Chapter 2 is now my carrot.
(Btw, did you ever read Faulkner's Light in August? Great book. Not so much related to this, but for the powerful description of that particular late summer light.)
Good grief, does it get any better than this? NOPE. Yeah, those are the best comments for a writer to hear, ever, at least this writer. Thank you so much for entertaining my ramblings and offering suggestions. When someone like you is in my corner, no way I want to disappoint.
I love Faulkner (file that under 'shit you don't hear too often') but I've not read that one. Will file away for the future! Thanks so much for being an inspiration and a cheerleader.
Now you've done it. You've broken my brain - the part that has the critical ability to write a coherent review. Oh, his dream...and those perfectly selected Neruda lines...and even your footnotes (which, let's face it, could have seemed contrived) add an essential layer. This is too many kinds of moving and unexpected and witty and surreal and real and pure Jim, yet not....to even begin to comment upon. Possibly the best thing I've read in a while (not just here either, darling.)
Oh, farther than everything. Oh, farther than everything.
Were ever more fitting or gorgeous words written? I think not.
Oh, Colette, what can I even say? You are so generous and thoughtful.
So right about the line you quoted! When I read that last line, I did that big hiccuppy intake of breath thing before you start sobbing. Oh my God, it just wrecked me. I originally had another Neruda selected for this chapter, but I was browsing around and found this one and at first I started to dismiss it because the whole thing is too long, but then I got to those lines and just lost it.
I'm SO glad you think the footnotes work! And you're absolutely right - they could have gone either way. It is an absolute blast to write those - it's totally like being able to whisper into someone's ear but not miss any of the main conversation. I'm realizing that is very much how I talk, too, with tons of tangents and sidebars and wanderings that so often I have to say "but that's another story" and cut them short. But they make the main story richer, I think.
I seem to fall under a spell when I write this story and I haven't felt like that in a long, long time. Chapter 3 is going to bring some changes - interesting and fun ones, I hope. I'm thrilled you're enjoying and thank you for this.
You have irrevocably broken my brain. I don't know where to begin, because there's just so MUCH here. From the commentary on the shifting 1st/2nd person voice (1), to the precise, but simple language, to what a sensitive and freaking interesting character study this is...and it's romantic as hell to boot.
AU rarely convinces me like this - this story feels like a place - a literal and emotional place. And it's seamless and complete (and by complete I don't mean length, I mean that intangible sense of truth and fullness that make it alive.) I could quote a dozen great lines from this chapter alone, but that's almost besides the point. I love how you've threaded the poems through - they feel integral, not mannered, and that's hard to pull off.
Now, you know I need to comment on that unspeakably sexy, funny, touching section that begins, so aptly: Saturday morning on 30 minutes of sleep.Woa. And this may be the hottest line ever written: She takes off my glasses and I get an erection. Not just for the literal ref, but also for the notion of anticipation and letting go and the implication of trust in not seeing clearly. And if this doesn't beautifully and succinctly nail new, unexpected love, I don't know what does: ...and I want nothing more than to lean into her and close my eyes.
Okay, this review is totally rambling stream of ubnoxiousness. What more can I tell you? What a perfect last line. I can't possibly top that, so I'll just stop. Right here.
(1) Did you ever read A Book of Common Prayer by Joan Didion? Major novel for me, and (though I know you had DFW on your mind) there are elements here that remind me of it. She begins by explaining her limitations/idiosyncrasies as the story's narrator (basically telling you neither omniscense nor objectivity interst her) and she ends with perhaps my favorite ending ever of a novel: "I have not been the witness I wanted to be." Anyway, that comparison is a big compliment. Seriously.
I don't know if I can even respond to this! First, it's YOU. DUH. Second, YOU PUT A FREAKING FOOTNOTE IN THIS REVIEW!!!! Best. Thing. Ever! I'm so grateful.
I know what a huge influence Didion has been for you and that is just the ultimate compliment to me. I've only read The year of Magical Thinking - which I admit now to borrowing two words from in Chapter 1. I was so mesmerized by the concept that I think we all do - that if we just engage in the right kinds of thoughts or rituals, we can make magic and bring someone back from the dead - but I'd never heard/read it given a name. I could never be as concise as she is (or you are) but I aspire to that level of precise word choice. Just beautiful.
Thank you so much for thinking the poems flow and don't stick out like a 7th grade book report! I was so worried about that.
And thank you for the detail and quotes! Gosh, I'm so chuffed you liked the glass/erection line! I was so happy with that! I tinkered with the kitchen scene quite a bit (why do I always have them ending up getting naked in the kitchen? What is that?) so I'm pleased you liked that bit. And yes...30 minutes of sleep. The mind reels.
I should hope to write a last line as perfect as the last line of Didion's you quoted. God, that is perfection. She and DFW both give me so many things to marvel at in sheer awe.
Thank you so much, my friend. Means the world to me.
Not only did you create a whole world in this story, in the epilogue you suggested an entire meta one on top of that, with the notes, book, tv show and pictures. Dang, woman - you've gone and raised the bar for the rest of us again. It's no longer enough to quote a song or poem in a fic, now we actually have to WRITE one. I don't know whether to hug you or slap you ;-)
So proud of you for this whole production. Right when I was kind of feeling over fanfic, you reeled me back. And now, thanks to Ms. Hoo's wizardry, I have an actual visual of bespectacled Jim (who previously only lived in my febrile little mind.) Nuclear heat, I tell you. But more importantly, I have this whole parallel universe to daydream about, which I assure you I will.
It was an honor to be any small part of this. Helping you on the poem was not only fun, but it actually gave me a yen to maybe write some poetry myself, which I haven't done in eons - so, thanks for making my head go there again. Okay, better wind this up. Been a pleasure, my friend. Old girl power!
HA! Old girl power, indeed! We have insurance! (Weird Fried Green Tomatoes reference) And I'll take a hug, thanks!
When I first started cooking this story up, I thought it would go about 10 chapters. I even have an outline for it! It was a very traditional love story and I really can't explain what happened. After I rewrote and posted chapter 2 I told Lovefool "I have a million thoughts about where this can go next and I'm not married to any of them - what do you think?" After she freaked out, she talked me out of switching to Pam's POV and I even had a thought about doing a chapter from Jeeves' POV. Okay, so I had some wine that night! The BI chapter was divine intervention and I loved the idea but it was really hard to write that. Chapter 4 was tough because it had to do so much - Lovefool told me it didn't have to all be in one chapter - maybe I should write more if it felt forced, and that was good advice, but I was completely sold on the idea of wrapping this up quickly but completely. I don't know why, but I suspect you may have the same thought - there's no need to tell every last detail in every story. It's okay to leave things out and give the reader something to do and think about.
I really got a charge out of all the meta-ness of the Epilogue! That was way too much fun to think about and I'd like to say that writing the poem was fun but it so wasn't! Please, I am passing the poem baton to you! If posting prose makes me feel vulnerable, posting poetry is like ripping my clothes off and running through the archive naked! Major props to anyone who does it and I can't thank you enough for your help and your inspiration and your discerning eye.
Moving inside her like I'd never been there before.
Sexiest line. Ever. Thanks, you ;-)
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