Ideas for Cold Openings (the pre-title gags) always pop into my head. So these will be just a bunch of teasers that, hopefully, you will find funny. I don't know how many I will post but I'll keep putting them up as they occur to me.
Why are there so many pretty boy vampire movies?
I share Dwight's curiosity on that one.
Hilarious as usual, and I loved the "slam my door for me" line. Vintage Michael. It's funny how a misreading of yours led to this. Please keep misreading, if this is how it turns out.
Author's Response: lol.. yeah, now I have to speed through all the posts and hope I stumble across another one like this... man. Thanks, Jazzy!
"Keep that breathless charm! Pig Latin!
Ontway ouyay eesplay a-ay angeray itay!
(regular voice)
Breaking her down, Tuna!"
I literally howled with laughter at this. Awesome, awesome stuff - perfect ending. However. IF there is a Sinatra (I prefer the Chet Baker version) song at the wedding (which I doubt) it simply must be "Lucky" or I will burn Utica to the ground. *grin* Thanks for brightening my Monday morning.
Author's Response: Thanks, Jazzy! That IS a good tune. I do have a soft spot in my heart for "The Way You Look Tonight", though. Chet Baker, huh? I'll have to give that a listen. Thanks Jazzy, I'm glad you got a laugh out of it!
Bwahahahaha. I love to hate Ryan, and this is so "Ryan." I'm not sure what that says about me.
This line -
Knife-fighting midget prostitutes
- reminded me of In Bruges. Funny movie.
Author's Response: Never saw that. Sounded interesting but got mixed reviews... If there are knife-fighting midget prostitutes in it then I've got to watch it! Thanks Jazzy!
MICHAEL
No.. blood... um.. lover... is so far away and gone
forever. Ah, you wouldn't understand.
PAM
Nope, haven't a clue.
OMG, that's perfect. I can just hear Pam deadpan this.
Another great opener. Poor Michael. Poor Pam.
Author's Response: Thanks Jazzy! Yeah, Pam does great quiet sarcasm.
It always puts a smile on my face when I see Cold Openings on the "new stories" page. Hilarious, as usual.
DWIGHT
Ah, let him go. Dibs on his paper clips.
Perfection.
Author's Response: Thanks, Jazzy! Glad you liked!
Gawd, I love these, they make me laugh.
"...over a certain... blonde... ice cube"
Niiiice.
Author's Response: lol.. thanks!
*dies laughing*
Too bad Michael doesn't watch Judge Judy.
Author's Response: lol..That Michael is something, isn't he?
These are really good, very well written and I'd like to see the shows that came after.
Author's Response: Thank you! Boy, I'd like to see these shows too...
Yeehaww - when I saw you'd written a new one, I was grinnin' like a cat eatin' bumblebees and I up and opened it faster than fresh grass through a goose. I loved the character Jo (yes, I'm from the South) and of course Kathy Bates, and this is perfectly in character.
Also, I love the sayings. I grew up with my grandmother (who was born in 1887) and she was a wealth of these. Every once in awhile I'll use one and my son looked at me one day and said, "Where do you GET these? Are they for real?" I just smiled. My personal fav of my grandma's was "It don't amount to a fart in a whirlwind." It applies so very often.
Thanks for another hilarious Cold Open. We've missed you this summer - you've been scarcer than hen's teeth, and your pieces are finer than frog hair.
And if you stay gone again this long, I'll jerk a knot in your tail.
Author's Response: LOL.... Jazzy, those are GOOD ones! (I'm stealing the "Fart in a whirlwind" one... lol) You're really making me think of my dad with these. And I'm glad you thought these were very "Jo". I heard her voice when I wrote them and they just sounded right. Her Talking Heads sounded like Jo to me, I felt pretty good about her "Voice". I'm glad to see you liked.
"Finer then frog hair"... lol! Thanks again!
OMG, I think I hurt myself laughing, especially when everybody chimed in wtih the O Mart and K Mal hand bump, etc. You are so freaking good at nailing these characters - they really should employ you for the show. I'm glad you're back, and can't wait for the next installment.
Author's Response: Aw, thanks Jazzy! I'm really glad you liked!
"Maybe he's a Chow."
Bwahahahahaha. Kudos, funny as usual. I'm so sorry we missed the Obama/Sarah Palin argument.
"Now, if you'll excuse me I have to be like Dwight and prepare myself to geek out on the Star Trek trailer laster today"
Neener, neener, I saw it yesterday. And it was awesome.
Author's Response: lol.. you suck!! lol... Cool! I can't wait! And I'm glad you liked the C/O!
Way to close out 2008, this was hilarious, and the tag was a great idea. And Pam being reluctant, perfect.
I can't think of anything Jim would have wanted to see more than this, and to have missed it...alas.
*still laughing*
Author's Response: Thanks, Jazzy! I'm glad you liked it!
Sometimes the past haunts them.
Angst, and fluff, and smut. Not necessarily in that order.
Shew Lawdy! I'm a late reader here - this was recommended over on the MTT forum and I'm so glad. I don't think you made Jim too needy at all - I think having him be jealous (just once!) and turning into Caveman!Jim staking his territory is not that huge of a stretch. And even if it is a stretch, I certainly enjoyed reading about it. *grin* Thank you.
Jim and Ryan have a chat in the kitchen -- "missing scene" from DMI (so I guess some "spoileresque" conversation)
This basically wrote itself -- not something I intended. I think it's my first ever non Jim/Pam story. But it's about them. :-)
Oh, I so love to hate Ryan. This is great stuff.
OMG, I'm bawling. I'd never read this, being a latecomer to TO and MTT. And now I have a new favorite story. Well, this and Canary. That scene from Money is one of the best ever, and these are the exact thoughts and feelings that had to be running through Jim's head. Thank you for writing them down. blows nose
Yet another story inspired by a song by Ingrid Michaelson called Breakable. I really wanted to tell a story about people being just that -- breakable, and ultimately how grace helps keep us from falling apart. So yeah -- a nice fluffy holiday piece. ;-)I found this thanks to the recommendation thread.
It's my lucky day. Beautiful, poignant, it felt so very real. Your writing from Jim's POV was flawless.
Thanks, and you owe me a tissue or two.
*sniff honk*
I just discovered this and wow, is it lovely. Very well done. My new favorite first date fic.
This was a very believable depiction of how their relationship healed, I thought you captured Jim and Pam perfectly, and the inclusion of the episodes was seamless.
Very enjoyable read!
Bwahahaha, oh this is priceless. The way she knew how to manipulate him, Jim is right, Pam is a genius. *grin*
I'm so glad you mentioned this story over on the board, I might never have found it.
I loved this, what a sweet little analogy and backstory. Liked this line at the end especially:
It felt like defying gravity, air beneath his feet, the ball swooshing through the rim.
I also loved that Kelly said "Delia." *snort*
Author's Response: Yeah, I'm not usually big on pimping my own fics on the board, but in that case it seemed pretty relevant...anyway, glad you found this. Also pleased the backstory worked for you. And Kelly is just too much fun to write - she almost writes herself (oh no, what does that say about me?!?) Thanks, jazzfan!
What if Jim never went to Stamford? What if Pam started making life changes a little sooner?
An AU look at season 3.
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I'm really enjoying your story, and now you've thrown quite a new glitch in with Roy. I can't wait to see what happens next.
(love Moondance, too, though I prefer the Grady Tate version)
Please keep writing.
I love your Sweetconcernedson!Jim. Looking forward to the next chapter, as always.
Author's Response:
All these exclamation point Jims in the reviews for this chapter. This one is cute, too.
Hope to have the next chapter to you before a week. We'll see...
OMG, I just got the TWSS. D'oh. Can't wait for the next chapter, this one turned out so nicely.
Author's Response: Tee hee! Slipped that one by you! Well, you know you'll be among the first to see the next chap when I finish!
Just wanted to restate how much I love it when Jim sits in Larissa's room wondering about the roomie. That rang so true.
And "BZ" was inspired.
Another great installment. Will await the next chapter...impatiently.
Author's Response: Thanks, jazzfan! You know you'll be the first to see the next chapter!
I really liked that you didn't let Jim off the hook, and that Karen maintained her self respect. And now he's free...
*grin*
Author's Response: Thanks again for the quick turnaround on the beta review!
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