Jim sees a therapist. Starts in the midst of season two. he’d sunk his teeth into the corner of his pillow and cried for two hours until he felt lightheaded and fell asleep.
This line makes me want to shoot somebody for making this poor guy feel so bad.
plenty of people like me just fine, but none of them know me at all
*wince* Poor Jim. Such a telling thing for him to realize. Or to say. Good line.
it’s telling him that he’s defective, flawed, he can’t do this on his own
Jim needs a better therapist. :) This one is not empowering him; he is tranquilizing him. That's not what Jim needs right now.
I am anxious to read more of Jim's inner thoughts. You've done a great job of capturing them. I like the Brief Interviews format and Jim's answers are very revealing.
She chuckles to herself, imagining telling Roy they spent the evening baking brownies and braiding each other’s hair.
8 I would never believe the braiding bit in a million years, but
"His fingers brush her lips on the way out. The cherry is sweet and sour on her tongue.'
Oh, yes. Yes, indeed. :) A lovely glimpse.
Adored the chocolate painting scene, but if it happened in real life those brownies would never get made and Pam and Jim would wind up in a floury pile on the kitchen floor.
Nor do I believe Jim could keep his hands off Pam once he got them on her, but LORDY there is nothing more sensual than a man fooling with a woman's hair, unless it's a woman running her fingers through HIS hair.
"How does Angela do this by herself?" He shifts his hands to get a better grip. "Her cats must help her." Bwahahahah!!!!!
That night, she makes herself kitty ears and a tail.
The next morning, he smiles softly when he sees her hair is down.
Oh, you tease! I loved it. I didn't believe it, but I loved it.
6 she leaned back against Jim, and he put his arms
around her waist, and they stood like that for a while.
What a wonderful, comforting moment. Just beautifully captures the "comfortable is sexy" dynamic between these two.
I love Pam reminding Jim that he can move coat racks with his mind.
the last thing he needed tonight, with
all of the imaginary Pam porn floating around in his head already
LOL! Pam porn! I love it.
When she tells him she is naked and he slams down the phone I burst out laughing and scared the hell out of everyone in my cubicle row. Try explaining THAT.
Thanks very much.
Jim's thoughts...pre-Casino Night.
10 Omigod the bit where she feeds him chocolate is SO erotic. And I don't even LIKE chocolate.
And the thousand ways he wants to kiss her...HOT DAMN!
But this is the best line:
They’d lie in bed together late at night, talking for hours in the dark.
THAT, my friend, is love.
"...trapped in one of those moments that they aren’t allowed to be trapped in."
I envy you this phrase. Perfect.
7 "They just hold hands and don’t really pay attention to any of the stores."
Oooo. Chills. Love this. Too JAM!
10 "And he’s really honestly getting tired of the way subtext tastes on the tip of his tongue."
That's it. Game over. Best single line of JamFic I have read EVAH! My GOD does that capture Jim Halpert!
10 I think Jim is absolutely right. Pam is going to get married and her husband is going to love her and she'll be so happy. He just hasn't realized yet that he isn't talking about Roy.
Thanks so much for these lovely, enchanting scenes. I can't stop reading them.
10 there’s something in the way he flicks his wrist that causes her to close her eyes and arch her body
I swear to God this is enough to make me throw in the keyboard and stop writing fanfic. Superb line. Fantastic.
10 One nitpick: from land, it is impossible to see the sun sink into Long Island Sound. The sun sets in the WEST, and Long Island Sound is EAST of Connecticut. So maybe he's watching it sink behind some buildings?
Author's Response: I hadn't even thought about that, but...let's just say in my fictional universe here the sun sets in the east. :)
she imagines his words are clouds.
Oh god what a beautiful line. I love this chapter so much I want to have sex with it [/Dr. Cox] You continue to amaze and delight me. Thanks. Can't wait to see what you write when Oscar comes home.
Todd Packer gets what he deserves10 Packer didn’t realize until after they had already finished their lunch at Chili’s that his wallet was missing.
Oh this is GREAT. I adore Creed, he's one of my favorite characters. And you give him such a great role here! Thank you!
Pam's been faking it. Roy asks Jim how to fix it.
10 Roy looks over. "So what are you doing tomorrow? Hot date?"
"Poker game."
BWAHAHAHAH!! I just caught this on my , what, twelfth re-read: Mr. Wears-His-Heart-In-His_Face playing poker? With a "tell" that even Dwight could catch? Good one.
I'd like to take credit for something clever there, but it's from the Valentine episode - Jim scheduled a poker game.
Or you could think I'm clever - either one. :)
Okay, I hauled myself out of my cave after THREE people emailed me to come and look at this, and BOY am I glad I did. You know I've been dying for another chapter of this, and this was perfect.
We just get it. Without the noise.
Damn. Do they ever.
Turns out, his neighbor does have a dog.
LOL! And I bet that dog needs a cigarette.
The only suggestion I'd make for improvement (not that improvement is needed) would be to say that I SO enjoyed hearing Jim's thoughts in Chapter 1, that I'd love to hear more of them here. Or her thoughts, either one. I mean that there's plenty of dialogue here, and that's great, but I think hearing their inner thoughts might have added another dimension to this.
On the other hand, maye it doesn't need that, if their dialogue is the same as their conversation:
"...Roy was never able to read me like you can." She shrugs. "I had to make it obvious when he was in the right... zone. You know?"
That line says SO much about these two.
Thanks for this, nomadshan. Wonderful, as always. Going back to the cave now...
10 Me again. Can't stop reading this.
Kitty begged for a sequel.
What would happen if Pam asked Jim for pointers on how to please Roy?
Jim's head actually WOULD explode, I think...
Now that's an idea. Would Jim help? At least when Roy asked, Jim knew that Pam would get something good out of it. But would he do something he might see as benefiting only Roy?
If I could make him say yes to that conversation, it'd be fucking awesome! Definitely considering it!
Glad you're enjoying it so much ;)
10 *whimper*
Author's Response: Hee ;)
10 Okay, I said I had no constructive criticism but I'll take it back--one teensy little grammar/usage detail:
She lays spread-eagled and panting
She lays awake half the night
This is one of those lay/lie things. Pam is lying spread-eagled, half the night, etc. The verb "to lay" always takes an object, such as "she lay down on the bed" or "he laid his head on her pillow"; in both instances "lay" takes an object such as "down" or "his head". Pam is lying on the bed, not laying herself down on the bad. It's a subtle distinction, but once you're clued in to it it jumps out like a fire siren when you run across a mistake.
Sorry if this is nitpicky. I don't mean to be overly critical; I loved the story (although nothing could top Chapter 1). Pam fantasizing about Jim is SO Pam--passive, shy, yet with an undercurrent of heat she (or Roy) has barely tapped into. Also I love it that Roy is such a caring lover that he actually seeks (and TAKES) advice. If he was in love with any other woman in the show, we'd all be rooting for Roy.
Liked your line "the only man she's ever known". Roy and Pam met in high school, no? So she's essentially been married since then, i.e., in a monogamous relationship. So Jim has a lot more sexual experience.
When are we going to see Jim's sexual experience? :D
Thank you! Lay/lie is something I know I've misused a lot, but have never looked up - I'll go in and fix it now. I would prefer my fics to be utterly clean of grammar/spelling errors, so I'm fine with folks pointing these out.
I think Jim's had more partners, but hasn't necessarily been in a relationship long or deep enough to allow the growth possible in Pam's experience. For all we know, Jim's been lucky: had extremely responsive partners, etc. It would definitely be interesting to explore his first few months with Pam - there may be some obstacles there that he isn't expecting, and aren't easy to overcome. Thanks, NEJam!
10 Ye GODS. This is magnificent. I should never ever ever read your stuff while I'm at work. When I read,
"She's pretty loud when she likes something."
Fuck.
I totally totally lost it. I was giggling and blushing like a schoolgirl, right in front of my monitor.
I laughed out loud at
"What about when I go down on her?"
Jim pulls back, scrubs his face with his hands, and wonders if his head could actually explode.
and I mean that in a good way. It was funny because it is exactly how he would react.
"Wow. This is not enough beer to ask me that."
Best of all, you have completely captured the short, elliptical dialogue of two men talking together. And Roy's motivation for asking Jim for advice (the women Jim goes out with) is totally believable.
My congratulations.
I am afraid I never have any constructive criticism for you because I wouldn't change a word. Every line is perfect, the characterization dead on. I like it that you made Roy a caring person, someone Jim can actually sympathize with at the same time he wants him to fall over a cliff.
Jim, Pam, manicure.10 Damn, woman. They both kept their clothes on, and I still need a cigarette. You have a beautiful eye for sensual detail, yet you don't let it overwhelm the characters. Wish I had that sense of balance. Loved loved loved him slipping the knot on his tie down. When he blew on her fingers, I could just see that. Hell, I could FEEL that. You struck just the right note with his jokes about looking good for Dwight.
"I hadn't planned on impressing Dwight this much."
Hee!
Thanks very much.
Series of drabbles on random subjectsSure it isn't a date. Uh-huh. :D
Author's Response: Denial is a very powerful (and necessary) tool.
Jim and Pam, overheard.10 YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, you gorgeous GENIUS you!!!! This is so PERFECT! I am sitting here typing this with the most HUGE grin on my face, nomadshan. Words cannot say how perfect. Thank you thank you. Your "voices" for Mulder and Scully are dead on. Lovely. I haven't heard those voices for years. Thank you.
I'm babbling. Going away now. Smiling, tho...
Future fic, but with some imagined back-story for Jim as well.6 slippery borders that were never quite where they were supposed to be
Brilliant line.
she’d been too paralyzed with fear to go there with him, clinging instead to the lie like a life preserver.
What a true thing.
His sense of relief was palpable, like he’d been given an unexpected gift, one he hadn’t even realized he’d so badly needed.
Wonderful.
What I like her eis your insight into the male psyche vis a vis sex. I doubt Pam could ever live with herself after "casual sex", but Jim definitely could. That doesn't make him a bad person, just a normal man. Thanks for making him real.
Your welcome. I think on one level it was about 'casual' sex as a release (from a consuming emotional state); but also she was someone he trusted, who understood him and with whom he had history...making it perhaps not quite casual, but not about romance either. And yeah, men seem to be able to go there in a less complicated way (biological? enculturated? Who knows?)
10 He kissed her for a very long time, hard and deep and every way he’d ever wanted to…and he’d spent a lot of time thinking about how he’d wanted to.
I love lines like this, that capture the passion Jim hides so well.
so fierce and ecstatic that it made him dizzy, he heard her moaning and then realized it was coming from him too. It blended together into the most perfect sound he’d ever heard.
Wow. /Jim
Passion, indeed.
If I have any critique about this chapter, it's that they talk too much. Most fanfic talks too much anyway, so I'm used to it, but next time Pam pours out her heart to Jim, I think dialogue would be superfluous.
Hmmm. You could be right re: talking. My thinking, though, is that after all these years of wanting this moment, when it finally happened, Jim would be momentarily stunned, need to digest it. Some dialogue would ensue, but they wouldn't talk it to death either.
Then KABOOM.
Anyway - thanks for all the great feedback...much appreciated!
Fanfic is a fun outlet for me after a long day at the office, but it's also a chance to work on some writing issues: character development, style, pacing. So thanks to anyone who gives me reviews!