Reviewer: NeverEnoughJam Signed 
9
Date: September 06, 2007
Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
I love the writing in this, and the points of view of each member of the family were fascinating.
what it felt like to be attached to loss, while not really losing anything
I also love David flirting mildly with his students--a foreshadowing of his youngest son's charm?
One thing; it appears that Larissa is not Jewish (she "respects her husband's family" -- not her own -- by giving the children Hebrew middle names, and apparently celebrates Christmas?). Unless she converts, her children are not Jewish under the laws observed by Conservative Jews (which you say David is). Hence Oliver would not have had the "right" to a birthright trip to Israel and might have been denied this (it happens today--complex issue). It's not a major flaw, just a point you might want to consider if you pursue this idea of Jim's family being Jewish.
I loved Jim having a gay brother. And I would LOVE to read a story where Jim visits him in San Francisco! That would be wonderful to read. I loved the image of Ben eating rose petals, and Tate writing a long dirty joke on Jim's leg cast (ooo! good one!), and Tate telling everyone in great detail about her period (that is so Jim of her somehow). And this line was both painful and funny, in a very good way:
Jim did not like secrets.
Yeah, he keeps them well, but there's no reason to think he likes them. Well done! I enjoyed reading this. I look forward to reading more, if you choose to continue.
Author's Response: i\'m glad you enjoyed this - thanks for your feedback! i think i\'m using this not as a starting point for more fic but as background for writing as i go forward. although if i want to rewrite his parents, i\'ll probably do that at the drop of a hat.\r\nas for the whole birthright trip: i sent oliver to israel :) in an effort to bring the story full circle. birthright trips, according to the website, are available for those who are jewish (and there\'s not really a lot of explanation of what that entails). i am seeing oliver being interested in such a past and history, because obviously jim is not connected to that. oliver wants to reclaim that part of his... family tree. ugh. over the line. too cheesey :) i do appreciate your thoughts, though.
Fanfic is a fun outlet for me after a long day at the office, but it's also a chance to work on some writing issues: character development, style, pacing. So thanks to anyone who gives me reviews! 