This opening here in Jim's POV is lovely, but utterly brutal. You can see the depth of his feelings for Pam and also how utterly crushed he is by all this.

I utterly adored the chemistry between the two soupsnakes in this chapter. They really are perfect for each other (LOVED the Holly TWSS moment, and Michael trashing her ex for being foolish enough to dump her.) And you did a really fine job with Michael, striking the right balance between poignancy and irritation and comedy. ("Because… it feels like she’s wrapping my heart into a cozy warm blanket... and at the same time, squeezing my crotch with a handmade mitten... and I just want to scream out my love from the rooftops so everyone can hear me, because I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life.” And Michael having this really meaningful moment with Jim and immediately handing him condoms.)

I also maintain that Kelly bailing out Ryan when he's broke at a strip club so he doesn't have to tell his wife is *peak* Kelly/Ryan.

“Pam, you never know when you’re going to have to perform an emergency magic trick. It’s good to be prepared.” Amazing. Also, “There’s just as much sexual energy, it’s just nice to see it directed at someone other than myself.” You have a lot of great lines of Jim observing Michael.

“Please don’t tell your grandkids any sex stories, Jim,” she said. “That’s disturbing.” PAMELA.

The appearance of Katy and Danny is a gut punch, but obviously pretty in line with WMHS canon. And you put it to good use... this is a charmingly angsty way to wrap up the chapter.

Ugh. This scene is BRUTAL. You really let us feel the fast descent of Jim's happiness and glow in the morning into horror at how quickly it all goes wrong. And his internal monologues really have STRONG WHMS vibes here: "He wanted to eat at their favorite restaurants together and not be afraid to hold her hand on the walk home. He wanted to watch their favorite show with her head against his chest; in the same bed, not across town. He wanted to hold her close and kiss her forehead as she fell asleep, to stock his fridge with her favorite mixed berry yogurts. He wanted to spend every day making her laugh and every night making her say his name the way she had last night." Like... that's perfectly Harry.

Ah. Jeez. Pam talking herself around this whole thing is just... I mean. Ow. Ow ow ow. I need ice for that burn. You can really see how her leftover damage from Roy interacts with months of her rationalizing away the strangeness in her relationship with Jim to create a perfect storm of self-destructive denial. Poor Pam. And poor Jim too.

Author's Response: I have to take the good parts from Harry and give them to Jim, because he deserves nothing less! 

Okay, I feel like I've already told you most of what I think about this chapter, but to reiterate:

-Your version of Kelly is *absolutely hilarious* here, from demanding to hear about Jim and Pam's sex life in the beginning to the amazing visual of her bouncing up and down silently in the car at the end. And let it be noted that Kelly's bladder is the real hero of Jam in this chapter.
-The idea that Beach Games and The Job and Weight Loss should have a baby together and the nicer parts of Casino Night should babysit had never occurred to me before and it's beautiful.
-Pam's awareness and embrace of the tropiness of this moment is lovely.
-The fact that Jim is having car trouble and that they're doing this on the highway is wonderfully circular from the beginning of this story.
-You did really well mixing Jam canon and WMHS canon here and making it feel organic.

Lines I Loved:
-“I appreciate the speech, Beesly, but that last part was all I needed.”
-He visualized an imaginary checklist with only one to-do on it: Kiss Pam.
-““Eh, you’ll get the hang of it."
-"the service at this restaurant sucks."/"But I ordered something, too, Jim."
-“Am I... your girlfriend now?”/“As long as you’re still my best friend, too.”

VERY eager to see how you're going to wrap this one up! But I'm glad they're getting their happy ending. They've earned it, poor souls.

Author's Response: Thanks, DJC. I changed this chapter up so much I don't even remember how it was when I first sent it to you but I appreciate you rereading and all of your help as always. 

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It is interesting that we see that conversation end so abruptly in canon... the show frequently gets away with cuts to talking heads where it sort of appears like we're seeing the characters' inner monologues, but in this format we know it's implied that this discussion with the crew happened sometime later. This is an interesting attempt to fill the gap, and I think makes sense in context, that Jim *tried* to communicate directly with Pam first before going in for the big Jim gesture and to demonstrate the ways in which he has genuinely rethought his commitment to Athlead.

Author's Response:

Thank you!

The show does do that a lot, which is certainly a brilliant technique to flesh out the characters and build the story.  In this instance, though, with the Athlead arc's resolution so rushed to culminate in a satisfying ending - on top of Dwight and Andy's stories wrapping up - there's very little done on-camera that implies he tried to tell her how happy he really is; "I've been trying to tell you how I feel" makes more sense if one assumes there was a much bigger talk offscreen.

As for his commitment to Athlead, my view is that Pam is right in that part of him will always want it, but the stress of running a new business could get to anyone, especially considering he was juggling another job alongside it being 3 hours away.  Many see it as him attempting to appease Pam, but I prefer to look at it as disillusionment.

Thanks for the review! 

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I liked this a lot. I think you captured the vibe of this moment well. The way Pam is achingly close to breaking through her fear and inhibitions and can't quite manage it, the longing and the dissatisfaction with the life she has she's not quite ready to name for what it is, and on the other side Jim's sense of fear of disturbing the status quo at this moment when he's gotten just a bit of hope. And the way you use the connection between them at the end is just plain good writing.

Also: Hi! Welcome to MTT (love the user name btw), and congrats on your first story here!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I’m very excited to be here, and going back to my passion of creative writing. More things to come soon!

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I think you did really well with this. It's striking in some ways how fast Pam and Jim ended up having kids - for two people who waited a long time to be together and felt so strongly about each other, they really didn't have a long time in their own before becoming parents. It certainly makes emotional sense that Pam would miss that time of them being able to enjoy each other.

You've also I think captured well the exhaustion of parenting a young child, and how much it takes out of mothers especially. You feel Pam's loss and mixture of happiness and desperation and guilt. Very visceral, very personal. Nice work.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this, I think that they fell into having children very, very quickly, and the same thing happened with my partner and I, and I can relate to them. And I think there's a part of them that misses the lust aspect as well of wanting each other, and everyone misses that moment in their relationship. Thank you so so much for your review! 

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The image of Cece holding Jim's face between her hands and touching his forehead is worth the entire price of admission.

Author's Response: It made me melt and I wrote it down lol thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I love this family so much :)

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I really like the concept here - onscreen it sorta looks like Jim turns on a dime because he gets a few last minute reminders, when it seems clear he must have been deeply torn and unsettled in the days leading up to the interview, and you acknowledged both of these realities effectively. I love this memory of Jim's trips to the museum and getting lost (such a scarring experience for a kid that age), and how it stuck with Pam. The fact that Pam, with whom he banters plenty, knows what he needs to hear at this moment says so much...

Author's Response: Ugh, thank you so much! My heart breaks for them and I love the idea that he had been talking to her the night before and then the gentle reminder of what they’ve had for years between them in his bag is enough to throw him over the edge and just go back. 

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You painted a very interesting picture of Jim's dream world here... not too abstract, but also not too on the nose as to what you're getting at. Looking forward to seeing where you take that next.

Michael assuming that of course Pam is going to be there is a nice moment... as is his mixture of total obtuseness and timely kindness.

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Kudos on taking on the 55 worders! Yeah, it's a fun challenge to try, maybe, you know, once. :D

On the other hand, you wrung so many good lines out of it I'm gonna die. So maybe it'd be worth you trying again. I don't want this review to just be copy and pasting lines I liked, but...

"Her laugh is the reason he does most things." "When he knows he has her. Just for a moment." "the gauntlet he hurled down on the cold asphalt was an act of desperation and not of war"

"Our communication is telepathy" gets more out of post-Casino Night than some 20,000 word fics do. You are a talent, friend.

Author's Response:

Aw, thanks so much! That’s really kind of you to say - I was quite nervous about posting this one, turns out there’s really nowhere to hide in 55 words. (I’m also *fairly* sure the laugh line was inspired by an observation in one of your fics). Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! 

Okay, definitely accidentally refreshed halfway through, let's see how much of that review I can recreate.

The way Pam felt safer when she was unable to change things and desperately trying not to than now, when she's experiencing new things, is a *really* good use of genre to explore characterization.

This description of trying to hang onto dreams is Spot. On,

I'm just starting to get that Pam Prime has effectively time traveled into the future. Fun!

PAM'S POKER FACE. I love her being able to see what we all see again, and the call-forward is clever.

THE CHIPMUNK STORY!

Holy CRAP BREAKTHROUGH MOMENT FOR OUR PAM. MULTIPLE BREAKTHROUGH MOMENTS IN FACT.

I continue to really enjoy how you're giving Pam a chance to analyze her behavior the same way we all did, and let her reach the same conclusions.

Author's Response:

I hate when that happens - and it has happened more than once to me. 

Thanks first for all the typo pickups - I knew there were a lot and I do appreciate you catching them and so fast too. 

So that dream thing - I'm glad it came across, and don't you hate that. You know you had a dream - a good one - and you have no idea what it was and even if you could remember - either way - poof its gone and with it that amazing feeling you were in. I worried that part would not translate well. Works with nightmares too, that heart racing panic you have no idea why you wake up having, but that description is for another story (and I already know which one).

Not quite, but all the things she's doing in her travel to the past are having their effect on what the other her is experiencing in her present and effectively that's getting her to the future maybe a bit "ahead of schedule"?!?!?

You know how I like to meld my stories together and even bring in parts of other's too (always hoping it's viewed as intended as a tribute and not otherwise)

Thank you again for the editor's eye, and the review. It means the world.

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Michael being easily fooled by a cheap piece of mass-produced memorabilia that Pam is explicitly telling him is a cheap piece of mass-produced memorabilia is just... so very Michael.

I love Pam's very distinct fear of disappointing Jim by screwing up the prank... and how she's sad to let him down while by contrast just worrying about Roy getting increasingly grumpy with her.

"She had to wonder what he did in the warehouse every day if having to lay carpet with Darryl yesterday was that much more strenuous than his regular job of hauling pallets and loading boxes." GOOD QUESTION, ROY. Especially knowing that you napped through part of that!

You did a good job placing us in Pam's head and letting us see through her eyes what their time travel looks like. And Michael immediately and blithely accepting that they actually time traveled was a really nice touch.

Looking forward to the next update here!

Author's Response:

I'm so glad you are enjoying it so far... lots to come with a lot more of Michael's Michaelness, Roy's Royness, and lots of new surprises. 

Thanks as always for your fast and fun to read reviews.