Penname: darjeelingandcoke Real name: Joe
Member Since: October 01, 2011

Bio:

Just a guy with Jim and Pam on the brain, trying to get the song out of his head by singing it.

Author of the Month June 2021


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Reviews by darjeelingandcoke
Ruin & Rubble by InRomanovWeTrust Rated: M [Reviews - 44] 41
Summary:

When Special Agent James D. Halpert is supposed to begin his first day as the personal bodyguard of the newly elected President William Beesly's daughter, Pamela Beesly, he didn't think he would be neck deep in a parasitic controlled religious cult based in a remote section of Spain hell-bent on world domination. Hey, just another day, right?

Future chapters will now only be posted over at Ao3. Follow me over there @ babyboyking for more updates. :)  


Categories: Jim and Pam, Alternate Universe
Characters: Dwight, Jim/Pam, Karen, Oscar, Roy
Genres: Horror
Warnings: Adult language, Violence/Injury
Series: None
Chapters: 11 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 90929 Read Count: 2709 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: May 17, 2022 Updated: November 01, 2022
Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1
Date: June 08, 2022 Title: Chapter 3: now the wolves are at the door

"I don't break pinky promises. Ever. Part of my oath, obviously." Nice to see some moments of cuteness being worked in here!

Author's Response: Thank you! Jim takes pinky promises VERY seriously. At least in this story. 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1
Date: June 08, 2022 Title: Chapter 4: what a world, i'll keep you safe here with me

The description of the cut-up and horribly injured cult members continuing to go after them was *deeply* creepy.

Author's Response: Yeah, in the game they are relentless. Then after a certain point in the game after shooting random ones in the head they have like a looooong tentacle thing with ragged sharp edges that busts out and they’ll hit you with it. Totally nasty. 


Sorry if it was too spooky! Just trying to keep it true to the game as much as possible. 

Thank you for the review! 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1
Date: June 15, 2022 Title: Chapter 5: with the weight of the world on my shoulders, they just want to see me fall

Angela as a psychologist! That sounds like a side adventure waiting to happen. And Creed continues to be used in a really fun way here.

The burning away of Mendez's human body to reveal the monster was *super* creepy, as was his top half crawling up the barn roof. Hell of a spooky fight.

Author's Response: Very creepy indeed! I’m glad you enjoyed the chapter though. 


Creed is going to be a fan favorite I hope. He just fits the bill for the creepy merchant. 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed
Date: July 30, 2022 Title: Chapter 6: here in this world i'm awaked with mistakes, but it's love that keeps fueling me

Lol. Jim is so delightfully awkward in this chapter.

The castle is VERY well described.

Author's Response: Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply! 


Yeah, Jim might be a badass but he’s hopelessly lost when it comes to women. Lol. 

Thanks for the review! 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed
Date: August 01, 2022 Title: Chapter 7: take my own life just to save yours

The singing scene was ADORABLE. I'm curious to see if we're going to explore more of Jim's trauma in this fic...

“I sleep texted Dwight some pretty wild and just... bat-shit crazy things and he has used that for blackmail ever since. Something about how we needed to get married to undermine the rampant giraffe nationalists who were trying to take over the country.” Not going to lie, I lol'd.

"'Have you tried turning it off and back on?' Jim had heard the Dwight that lived in his head as he said it with his usual condescension." I can very clearly hear Rainn saying this.

“I think you could make a Polaroid picture of a mud puddle sound exquisite with how you describe art and paintings." This is SUCH a Jim line.

This was a clever way to work "swaying isn't dancing" in.

Oooof. VERY ominous ending.

Author's Response: You get some trauma! And you get some trauma! AND YOU! YOU GET SOME TRAUMA! 


We will definitely learn more of Jim’s backstory as the story progresses.
 
Jim and Dwight are best friends in this and anyone can fight me if they have a problem with that. 

He’s totally enamored with her. It’s EMBARRASSING.
 
As always thank you for the review!  

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed
Date: August 13, 2022 Title: Chapter 8: hey, now, they're closing in on me; watch them sharpen up their teeth

You know you've got it bad when you're happy to be coughing up blood because it means you get to spend more time together.

"Go to bed now, my little heir, or the skeletons from the unused dungeons will creep out and steal you away." Lol.

Gonna be real interested to hear what Karen's angle is.

Now THAT'S a sinister agenda. Cool motive. (Still murder.)

Oooof. RIP Oscar. You'll be missed. Not necessarily by Jim, but you'll be missed.

Author's Response: Jim is a true romantic, that one. 


I’m here for the Karen bashing in this fic. Her angle is never going to be good. 

Yeah, I wanted people to feel some sympathy for the guy, but not enough to condone what he has done. Humans are complex creatures.
 
RIP to a bad bitch. In that he was bad. At everything. He tried though. 

Thanks for the review!  

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed
Date: September 21, 2022 Title: Chapter 9: what if my stars fell from the sky? and what if they landed in your eyes?

Some really fun dialogue in this one. I loved Pam passing on the opportunity to be Indiana Jones and the “You’re insatiable curiosity for big mouthed and inbred families lead us right to the treasure” “You’re welcome” exchange. (I also always appreciate a good Habsburg burn.)

Also, DID THEY FIND A FREAKING DUNDIE?

Author's Response: I also have an insatiable curiosity for big mouthed and inbred families. I love genealogy especially when it comes to royal families. The Romanovs clearly being my favorite if that’s not obvious, but the Habsburgs are just as interesting, too. 


Also, yes. They totally did. Felt like it was a not-to-subtle nod. 

Thanks for the review! 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed
Date: October 16, 2022 Title: Chapter 10: you found a way to make believe that I... I don't have to walk this road alone

"first spots of twinkling light peppered the sky where the color had already started to turn a shade of periwinkle" I see what you did there.

Fun way to work in the mental camera... and their banter about it is adorable.

Come on, Jim. Take the rocket launcher. I have a feeling that it's going to come in handy.

"Always best to keep your friends close… and shady pop-up shop salesmen with unknown agendas closer." Lol.

"Especially a horse such as this one… He seemed he would be more at home with the other three of the apocalypse than he would at a peaceful farm." I like this line a lot.

Author's Response: I’m glad you enjoyed it so much! To be fair… that rocket launcher saved me A LOT in that game so it’s fair for the Merchant to be peddling it so hard. 


He’s such a creepy dude but probably the best character out of the whole series. 

Can’t wait for the remake to come out and see what they’ve done to him. 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed
Date: November 03, 2022 Title: Chapter 11: if i'm going to break down... i'll do it for all of us

"I think I might’ve taken off an ear.” Okay, here's a pitch for a follow-up: Jim teaching Pam to PLAY Resident Evil 2.

NGL, were I Pam, I would be more nervous about hitting random switches in this crazy place.

Pam wanting to be called sweetheart was lovely.

Author's Response:

Ooooh, I will have to try and include that if and when they get out of here… 

 I would be, too, to be honest. Though if I were Pam I probably would’ve died by now. 

Who wouldn’t want to be called sweetheart by Jim? 

My Type On Paper by Yellowberry22 Rated: M [Reviews - 43] 22
Summary: Welcome to a brand spanking new series of Love Island. The sun's out, guns out, and singles we know and love are hoping to find love whilst living in a villa in Spain. 
Categories: Jim and Pam, Alternate Universe
Characters: None
Genres: Fluff, Humor, Romance
Warnings: Mild sexual content
Series: None
Chapters: 12 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 26243 Read Count: 3518 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: May 29, 2022 Updated: July 21, 2022
Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1
Date: June 07, 2022 Title: Chapter 1: Episode One (Part 1)

HA. The marriage of The Office and a reality show is splendid. Very interesting genre mix.

Ryan is gloriously douchey. And the idea that Michael's crush on Ryan is essentially parasocial is kinda fascinating. And oh good lorde, Dwight. He's always himself, for better or for worse.

"My usual type was the girl next door, but I actually dated my Grandma’s next door neighbour and now she’s trying to sue me..." Oh, poor Toby. This is exactly the sort of thing that would happen to him. And Michael is delightfully awkward here.

"She chases a puppy around the white studio wall, very symbolic of Indiana Jones, the puppy being Indiana Jones and Kelly being the boulder." LOVE this.

"A blonde woman walks into the back yard, wearing a three quarter sleeved dress that surpasses her knees." Angela on a dating show is spectacular.

Hmmm. The Pam/Toby and Jim/Karen pairings sound like a recipe for chaos.

Looking forward to seeing where you go with this!

Author's Response:

I, somewhat ashamedly, had so much fun writing this chapter... Apparently there's a part of me that can come up with really douchey comments, deep down under all my charm of course ;)

 

Glad to hear that you've enjoyed it, more soon!! Thank you for your review 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1
Date: June 13, 2022 Title: Chapter 2: Ad Break: Chili's

*head bob*

Author's Response: *head bob in return*

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1
Date: June 13, 2022 Title: Chapter 3: Episode One (Part 2)

This is a *VERY* fun Robert California voice.

“Yeah, I did an ad for a brand last winter selling this gel that made you sweat for two days straight." Jim. RUN.

Awwwww. Toby's not a serial killer! He's just painfully awkward! I think. Maybe. I'm not sure. Boa constrictors are cool though.

Dwangela are here as in all universes a match made in heaven.

"I was totally a peacock in my previous life." I can *hear* Mindy saying that.

"don’t joke about an influencer's job." Valuable lesson.

Awwww. Look at them bond. You two...

Author's Response:

You think Toby's not a serial killer? I better change the plot of this fic then... Toby was going to kill everyone one by one, it was gonna be a murder mystery... back to the drawing board, kidding.

 

Thank you for your review! 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1
Date: June 23, 2022 Title: Chapter 4: Episode Two (Part 1)

I love Andy's sheer... Andy-ness, and how much it's working for Erin. No woman can resist a man singing showtunes. "that's what my best friend once said, and then next thing you know she got adopted by the family I was getting to know." Ouch.

"Maura Tierney tastes wonderful." I see what you did there.

Kelly being colorblind to the red flags is a sufficiently good line that I will forgive you for the wholly unnecessary u.

That is a HIGHLY disturbing but very Dwight-ish talking head.

Jim and Pam's developing rapport is extremely cute!

Author's Response:

Thank yo for yor review. See, the u is definitely not unnecessary. It has to be my favoUrite letter, so do me a favoUr and drop it.

 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed
Date: July 06, 2022 Title: Chapter 5: Ad Break: Vance Refrigeration

This is very Bob Vance Vance Refrigeration.

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1
Date: July 06, 2022 Title: Chapter 6: Episode Two (Part 2)

THEIR FACES.

Oh, Toby. Your instincts are... horrible. Just horrible.

“Dwight is conducting himself in the same way a pigeon would. Inflamed chest, a calculated gate, making himself larger to make others aware of his territory. You give the alphamale an ounce of power and they turn into this. This is why I’m a feminist.” This is GREAT Robert California dialogue.

Everyone knowing the mis-sent pic was Ryan was fun.

ANGELA DEFENDING HER GOD-FEARING CATS.

Jim and Elsie! I ship it. And his talking head about his mom!! HA.

Uh oh. This sounds like one ENCHANTED island...

Author's Response: In Angela's eyes, cats a gift from god so they must act accordingly! 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed
Date: July 15, 2022 Title: Chapter 7: Episode Three (Part 1)

Erin is such a delightful weirdo in this fic. I hope she makes it into the fridge one day.

The bathroom banter between Jim and Pam feels very domestic and comfortable and cute.

Dwight burning the atheistic Mad Libs just shows why he's a good match for Angela.

Katy seems like she's going to be a fun agent of chaos.

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed
Date: July 15, 2022 Title: Chapter 8: Ad Break: Sabre

A FREE FIREPROOF RUG. HA.

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed
Date: July 15, 2022 Title: Chapter 9: Episode Three (Part 2)

I have decided I am demanding James Spader nominate nature films as Robert California. I think that would be fun for everyone. I would also like to acknowledge that Kelly would be an AWESOME in-Office-universe dating reality show player, total fandom legend.

Awwww. I'm sad for Erin. And now she's never going to get into the fridge.

OOOOOF. The Jim-Pam gut punch. Ow. Update quickly, please.

Author's Response:

I could write a Robert California spin off if you would like one? Thank you for your review!

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed
Date: August 02, 2022 Title: Chapter 10: Episode Four (Part 1)

"Ryan brushes his teeth for a grand total of five minutes." Lol. There's a lot of good Ryan-Kelly material in this chapter! Which is nice, because the a lot of this chapter was a bummer, Jam-wise. Glad they managed to pull it together for a while. And that Jim got his revenge on Pam for the Dwight prank.

Ugh. Karen. You are the WORST. Although I bet the audience is into it.

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed
Date: August 02, 2022 Title: Chapter 11: Ad Break: Apple iPod

HA.

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed
Date: August 02, 2022 Title: Chapter 12: Episode Four (Part 2)

"pronounced abdominal muscles are unholy." Lol, Angela. And this continues to be very in-character Dwight dialogue.

Ugh. Karen. You're terrible. Just terrible. But again, an audience fave. She'll probably get to be in the next season of Big Brother.

"On behalf of Dwight and the show, there is no truth to the threat made." *Kelly shaking her head gif*

"But, I wouldn’t smack them." *Kelly shaking her head gif*

Ugh. ANOTHER bummer chapter for Jim and Pam. Please don't leave them like this!

Treasure in the Sheets by Maxine Abbott Rated: K [Reviews - 6] 7
Summary: It's not what you think. No smut here.
Categories: Jim and Pam
Characters: Cece Halpert
Genres: Drabble
Warnings: No Warnings Apply
Series: 55
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 55 Read Count: 715 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: June 18, 2022 Updated: June 18, 2022
Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1
Date: June 20, 2022 Title: Chapter 1: Treasure in the Sheets

Awww, this is both highly cute AND fits really neatly within the Gold-iverse!

Boyfriends by emxgoldstars Rated: T [Reviews - 10] 11
Summary:

 

 

 

"Boyfriends, they think you're so easy. They take you for granted."

Jim's thoughts, in a letter-esque format, as Pam leaves the reception with Roy.

Set During "Phyllis's Wedding."


Categories: Jim and Pam
Characters: Jim, Pam, Pam/Roy
Genres: Angst, Oneshot
Warnings: No Warnings Apply
Series: Summertime Sadness
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 586 Read Count: 635 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: June 22, 2022 Updated: June 22, 2022
Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1
Date: June 23, 2022 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Ooooooooooof.

You captured Jim's post-Phyllis' Wedding pain well here. You can see where this produces the bitterness and frustration he ends up demonstrating in the back end of Season 3.

I need a drink. Bad memories.

Author's Response:

Well thank you! I apologize that I regurgitated those bad memories for you, please go get that drink, lol!

 

Thank you! <3 

More Socks by MrsKHalpert Rated: MA [Reviews - 5] 16
Summary: A steamy follow on from the superfan cut from Weight Loss.
Categories: Jim and Pam, Episode Related
Characters: Jim, Jim/Pam, Pam
Genres: Fluff, Steamy
Warnings: Explicit sexual content
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 4088 Read Count: 1637 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: July 03, 2022 Updated: July 03, 2022
Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1
Date: July 06, 2022 Title: Chapter 1: More Socks

Okay, him mail-bombing her with socks is adorable and also a very Jim move.

"When he knocked on the door, Pam was going to open it, take the socks from him that she knew he would inevitably be holding, and then slam the door in his face." BEESLY. Hilarious. Especially with his somewhat more dedicated approach to the prank. She got so Pammed.

Very steamy - and congrats on getting the first Season 5 superfan fic out there!

Author's Response:

Thanks so much!

Hopefully there will be more to come, I’ll just need you guys to tell me what the superfan episodes are like!!

Advertising Director Jim Halpert by 3vasectomies Rated: T [Reviews - 4] 6
Summary: A possible scenario set during 6x16 “The Manager and the Salesman”
Or: How to get a promotion in four easy steps
Categories: Jim and Pam, Alternate Universe
Characters: Dwight, Ensemble, Erin, Gabe, Jim, Jim/Pam, Michael, Oscar, Other, Pam, Ryan, Toby
Genres: Humor, Romance, Workdays
Warnings: No Warnings Apply
Series: Possible Scenarios
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1593 Read Count: 665 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: July 05, 2022 Updated: July 05, 2022
Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1
Date: July 06, 2022 Title: Chapter 1: Advertising Director Jim Halpert

Interesting! And there a lot of fun little character details here - Pam's immediate frustration with Toby, Erin's oh-so-subtle attempt to keep quiet, Michael claiming credit for a plan that he didn't have anything to do with. And Jim trying to bond with Weirdo Gabe was definitely a scene I could on screen.

Welcome back!

Author's Response:

Thanks, good to be back!  I really love playing around with character interactions like these, it's so fun to write them play off each other.  And I am proud of Jim and Gabe's back and forth, those two never really got along and this could be one of the reasons why.

Thanks for the review!