7

Really enjoying the story, you have a much firmer grasp on characterisation and dialogue than most which is often the real selling point for stories to me.

I must confess I have some concerns with the plot direction as I see it perhaps going, particularly with the Roy angle. Unlike most I don't actually mind Roy all that much (at least until he went full on crazy trashing bars) but if Pam goes along with this little plan of his I think it'll become a chore to read. It's just stupid in so many ways, and it wouldn't make any sense for Pam, who has already been shown to be incredibly protective of her child, go along with something so emotionally manipulative and downright retarded.

But maybe I'm wrong and Pam will just tell Roy to get fucked. I certainly hope so.

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed the story thus far.That being said, I don't want this story to be a chore to you. So, I would advise you to not read any further because as you so aptly noted, this story will progress in a direction in which you'll find to be... stupid. I don't mind your input, I just think your words choices were 'uncool.' The awesome Mindy Kaling explained it better when she said, "It is just so totally uncool to use the word “retarded” anymore to describe something you think is stupid. It is barely acceptable when uninformed small children say it (and reflects so poorly on parent-ing), and is completely offensive for adults. How inarticulate are you if you have to use this word? How confident are you that no one you talk to would be offended by it, or worse, have someone in his orher life that has a mental disability."

This is not an attack towards you. I hope you see this as an eye opener and nothing more.

-D

Thank you for reminded me of Gabe dressed as Lady Gaga, this will haunt my dreams for a good while.

I hope you're proud of yourself.

(good story though, you write Toby better than anyone else)

Author's Response: Thanks! Sorry I brought up the horrible memory. It was something I couldn't forget.