10

I love it!  Their first date, a disaster!  It's so perfectly them.  I just wish we had more details--that it was longer, but I'm so happy at some good old fashioned Jam that I don't even care!  Great stuff!

Author's Response: Thanks Doof!

10

Ooooohh... ooh, oh oh, umm, yeah, right... post soon

 Just sayin.

10

This is an obnoxiously unique story that could only have been made for this particular show, given its underlying premise.  The fact that you're one of the first that I've seen to pick up on that says a lot about your ability to think outside the box.

I do hope you have some kind of outline sketched out so this doesn't turn into a ramble fest.  Serialized fanfic tends to go on and on and on, and without an injection of new material, it can quickly stagnate.  Thankfully, you do have a lot of material to absorb, plus, we still have the rest of this season to go for.

I did notice that Jim is single.  So would that place this piece in the future?  Would this be sometime in the summer after Season Three has been released on DVD?  Or does this happen after the documentary is over, and Jim and Pam have STILL not gotten together?  Lots of potential thoughts there.  I'm sure you have a clear concept of "when" this story is, but I still wanted to throw that out there.

I enjoy the inherent mystery built into the story.  We've clearly seen Pam and Jim, but it's interesting to find out the rest of everyone.  There is a danger in getting so wrapped up in the mystery of the other individuals that we lose the focus of the story.  Not that it wouldn't be cool to have most, if not all, the reviewers to be Office Staff--but you'll have on heck of a battle making it convincing.  Not that I mean to discourage you; I think you could definitely rise to the challenge.

Another random thought: any consideration of having "real" fanfic authors leave reviews?  Ask some people if they'd be interested in leaving a review.  GodInThisChilis could leave a review, and, at least for me, it wouldn't even be a distraction.  I think it's a very plausible, believable way to bend the fourth wall.

Generally, I'd say stick to your concept--it's a winner.  To find a way to keep this story completely within its currently defined bounds is a challenge, but as a holistic piece, it'll be that much cooler if all done properly.  At the same time, don't let yourself be a slave to it.  If you need the story to go in one way and the only way to get that is good old fashioned prose, then by all means go ahead.  Have a plan (so you don't go on forever and ever), but don't be its slave either.  You've got a great start, and I'm going to add a typical response:

YOU HAVE TO PUBLISH THE NEXT CHAPTER SOOOOOON.  Or even now.

10

That was a really nice fic!  I like what Jim wrote, and I'm always a fan of five things stories.  I also like how you really had a whole melting pot of moods and characters and everything.  Nice work.  Keep it up : )

Author's Response: Thanks. I'm so glad you liked it. I've been meaning to try a five-things, so I'm glad you enjoyed it.

10

Aw.  A very nice story.  I don't know if I've read any stories about the bag, but, yes, it's definitely an iconic part of who Jim is.  What I love is how you take that part of him and extend it to Jam as a whole.

I don't hate Karen, but I love stories like this that show exactly why Pam and Jim are Jam and Karen and Jim are ... not Jam.  Love it, m'dear.  Keep it up :D

10

Ya know, I'll let you in on a few secrets.  First secret:  I've never had a song with anyone, so I've never even known any process of finding one.  I always thought it occurred randomly... but picking the song together on a cramped little chair seems just perfect to me, and then letting it go the way of Lady Luck?  Amazing.

Second secret:  This is (maybe) the first song fic that I've ever reviewed, no less, felt good about.  I hate song fics with a passion--but the fact that the song (in this case) truly belonged to the story and moved the story and wasn't just generic and silly was amazing.

Maybe if more song fics were written like this, I'd be okay with them.  I love it.  Keep it up! 

10

Awwwww, you're very very quickly turning into one of those authors I have to read whenever I see you post a new fic.  This was great!  First date fics have constantly have to fight to stay fresh and original to get noticed... my only requirement is that they feel like Jam.  And this feels like Jam 100%.  You've got a great talent for the natural banter and dialogue between these two, and on top of the fact that you tag on a couple of cute twists, and you've got another great fic.  Keep it up!  I can't wait to see what's next.

Author's Response: Wow. Dooflegna, I am seriously humbled. Thank you so much. I'll see what I can come up with next.