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"Already, they were hairier than usual. His arms, of course. Not the children." I love the cadence and timing of Jim's internal dialogue.

Pam really is the best wife here. But I guess, if you've got Jim for a husband, you just accept it when he becomes a supernatural creature.

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"What's up, dog?" Classic.

Love the explanation as to how Jim got this way but what I really love is Ryan and Kelly having a youtube channel. That seems right.

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Don't trust Dwight's magic tricks. Just don't.

"Are you Elvis?" Ha! Way to go Kaitlin.

I love this Jim/Larissa/Mark friendship a lot. The banter is solid between the three of them, and really, who didn't want to be Spice Girl that year?

Author's Response: I wasn't planning on any more Mark/Jim/Larissa banter in this fic but it was fun to write so maybe one more blurb (or just more MJL in Future fics!) 

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Aw Dwight, you old softy!

This was super cute! I love any story where Jim and Pam are trapped together and especially ones where she leaves Roy at the end. :)

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Oh wow. I didn’t know my heart could break in less than 1,000 words but here we are. This is so well done! Your descriptions of a cold and dreary Halloween night we’re absolutely stunning. And though I suspected it was coming, what a gut punch at the end that was. It feels weird to say “I love it” about this type of story but well, I loved it.

Author's Response: Thank you. My fics are usually happier, but the darker theme seemed appropriate for this holiday. I appreciate the kind words! Happy Halloween!

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First of all, How is a lovely song and so fitting for this story!

Things I love: The contrasting care packages from Pam and Betsy and how perfect they both are. The sketchbook with the comics she drew (no for real, this might be my favorite little detail of the entire chapter. I want this comic to be real.) Jo as a receptionist. Amazing.

This part: Jo lowers herself into the desk chair, preparing for what she knows will be a good show. Karen breathes deeply and crosses her arms, leaning against the doorframe of her office. Andy, uncharacteristically aware that ‘something’ is happening, moves to perch on the far end of the desk as much to observe as he wants to relieve weight from his throbbing foot. I don't know why I love this so much, probably because it says so much about everyone in the room but also because I'd be casually leaning against the wall and pretending to send a text message while eavesdropping.

Things I loved a lot: That entire last scene when he comes back in. Its SO GOOD.

Karen continues to not annoy me, so well done there, too.

I love it. You know I love it. Already impatiently waiting for the next chapter.

Author's Response:

First of all, I was listening to Begin to Hope because SOMEBODY on here brought it back to life for me, then this song came along, and here we are. I blame you for everything. 

I mean, Jo as the receptionist who doesn't have to work because she has three rich ex-husbands makes so much sense. Like, I feel like she can be there, add commentary with her fantastic Southern sayings, and not give a single...fig about it. Karen and Pam need someone like that in their lives.

I'm glad that moment worked for you and you were practically there in the scene.

"Karen continues to not annoy me" is setting the bar waaaaaayyyyy too low for me. Like, I need to WANT Karen as a friend. What will it take, Coley, for you to Want Karen as your new BFF? Pedicures? Shopping Trips? A shared bottle of wine? What will it take? I need to know this before I can post the next chapter... 

I love this story so damn much.

I don't love Pam's last trip to Philly. God, it's so painful. Poor Pam can't win with Jim or her parents and Jim is just trying his best and listen, it all just makes me want to crawl under the covers with Nellie's wine and Darryl's garlic knots and hide until it's all better.

Seriously, in that flashback, my favorite parts were the really subtle moments that showed more than told what they were going through - Pam's annoyance at Isaac needing to get clothes in the middle of her fight with Jim, her sucking it up and making dinner and cleaning and being the good supportive girlfriend while trying to talk herself into the idea that they were going to be okay, Jim's annoyance at her telling her parents what was going on, and that whole awkward goodbye brunch. You kill me with these moments and seriously, are there any more garlic knots?

I don't even want to talk about their break-up. I definitely don't want to talk about the fact that they had break up sex and it's fine, really, I'm not invested in this fake world At All.

Karen's little pep/warning talk and date makeover - you're pulling out all the stops here and I don't hate it. Or her. I just really love this supportive friendship you've created for them and ugh, I FELT Karen's biting her tongue at Pam's insistence that she's really good right now, and her resignation that she's going to be there to pick up the pieces if it all goes to hell like she thinks it will.

But she still puts her in a fuck me dress and make up for a Tuesday night date -- That's a Karen I can be friends with!

I'd say more about the fact that Pam rents an apartment from the Vances (this is genius) but you have Jim leaning against a black Porsche like Logan Echolls and how very fucking dare you, Duchess Cupcake. How. Dare. You.

(please don't stop. also, tell me more about the time they saw Snow Patrol.)

Whew. This date. I also could use a vodka tonic with how awkward it's going. First of all, I can't believe you almost killed off Gerry... thank god He's okay. That was a nice little moment in the car that fooled me into thinking everything was going to be okay with this two and that they were gonna skip dessert and go bang in the Vance's pool. Nah, they don't even make it through drinks!

Did I scream at Jim to put his phone away? Yes, 100% I did. God, they have so much history and there's so much tension and there isn't enough vodka and bourbon in this restaurant to get them through dinner and it's awful and I hate it but I have faith in you that It's Not a Mistake and they're going to get through this. Because even with all of the awfulness, there's still that pull between them, those long repressed feelings that are trying so hard to come back to the surface. Because they Have to end up together after all this. They have to.

And for what it's worth, out of the "get out of a bad date' options presented at the end here, I'm definitely a Penny.

I need the next chapter like, two days ago.

Author's Response:

I love this review so damn much. 

Yea! You managed to hit on Everything I wanted to convey with Karen.  Also, that flashback was a rough one to write. I DID hide with wine and carbs after writing it. 

Gah! That car moment. EVERY fiber of my being wants Pam, at some point in this story, to say to him, "You should only wear this, like ever." I won't, but there is another famous VM line that another character MIGHT use much later. You're welcome. ;)

Aw, don't think I didn't have different thoughts about how that date might end. Really. But where's the fun in that?? But really, you hit on everything here. I'm so glad that internal struggle is coming through. Hopefully the next chapter isn't so tumultuous for these two...

“You sure do have a way with words.” Listen. I don’t know how to handle this version of Bill Beesly. I don’t know how to react when someone doesn’t swoon over Jim’s love for Pam and honestly, I don’t like how unsettled it makes ME feel, so I can only imagine how Jim is feeling here. And sure, on one hand the whole needing a father’s approval isn’t exactly necessary anymore but like, Jim is THAT guy. Of course he asked. Ugh, whatever Bill. However, all the tension between Bill and Jim while Jim’s in Philly makes a hell of a lot more sense now.

You know what makes me feel better though? Jim’s catalog of things he knows about Pam. This is a fantastic list all the way around and while I love that she has an insane shoe collection, it should come as no surprise that I love, love, love that she has a playlist for every occasion and that hip-hop is her go to when she’s stressed. Because now I’ve got visions of Pam leaving work on random weeknight and blasting California Love because Michael has pissed her off.

So this whole paragraph where Pam is taking care of everyone at work except herself? I love it because it is absolutely the person Pam is, but it adds another unexpected but realistic layer to her leaving with Michael.

“Hey Lady Macbeth.” I’ve already told you that this line is golden, but it’s now in my top 5 favorite lines you’ve written. And every time he repeated that it was ‘just a couch’ before realizing it wasn’t just about the couch – this is such a perfect scene all the way through to the end and I just really love that she still has the couch all these years later.

But now we’re in present day and Jim is at her door and she’s wearing the robe he gave her for their FIRST Christmas and I’ve forgotten all about the couch. Seriously, I love that Pam doesn’t get rid of anything Jim-related in this story. Nevermind the fact that she has, you know, a painting of him naked in a waterfall just hanging casually in her living room.

I love this Pam. So much. About as much as I love this story. I’ve told you it’s a good one, right? Because it’s a good one. And they’re going to be fine.

Bill can go kick rocks though.

Author's Response:

AH! How am I just now responding to this?? So, yeah, I get it about Bill. He's not too likable in this one. I'm glad you get it about Jim too; it's not just about her father's "blessing" it's about a general need for acceptance that has probably always been pretty easy to him.

Ha! I knew you'd like her musical diversity; California Love after a hard day with Michael sounds just right! :D

Thank you for being so supportive of this story and loving this Pam. But, yeah, Bill can go kick rocks.  

I'm gonna be honest with you DC, this isn't your best wo-- Sorry. I can't even type that with a straight face. OMG, imagine a world in which I'd be all "you could do be better." Impossible. This story continues to be one of my favorite things ever, and this chapter is brilliant from start to finish.

You've already heard a lot of my comments so what I really want to talk about is why I'm mad at Hannah for taking her shot with Jim but appreciate Jason's seduction of Pam. I'm pretty sure it's only 37% because of his accent.

Like, I get it. Jim and Pam both need to move on. They're both trying. It makes sense. Eventually, they were going to need to sleep with other people. They just didn't need to marry them, JIM.

I'm going to continue thinking about this for far too long.

Pam's to do list killed me, especially that last item. It's such a great little detail and I love that when she's talking to Karen later, she stays true to herself and doesn't mention it.

Another great detail that delighted me? "Your thirty dollar Target shoes scream gold digger"

When Jim finds out Pam's teaching a class and gets all proud and calls her Beesly? Twice? My heart grew two sizes. He's so proud of her!

And then Pam tells him he looks fuckable and I scream into the void because well, yeah. But also because I just sincerely enjoy this Pam so much.

His Raya profile is everything I want it to be and more. The picture. The SONG. No wonder he lands models. Gold star for including the term "douche canoe." It's a personal favorite.

And that phone call at the end! It's nothing major but like, its still an olive branch extended and they can't help but fall back into the easy banter and the teasing and listen, I'll fight anyone who disagrees that Pam's dating profile song has to be Blank Space.

p.s. Can I get a short one-shot to this story where Jim and Pam leave work early to watch the Met Gala red carpet? Please?

p.p.s Always choose Drake.

Author's Response:

Ugh, your reviews kill me every time. I love that you always catch some of my own favorite details. :) Awwww, I'm so glad that you picked up on how proud Jim was about her teaching art class. Ha! I'm so glad that you appreciate Jim's dating profile; I was thinking "Getaway Car" for Pam's profile song but "Blank Space" is a really good one, too!

PS Hmmmm...but what would it be ABOUT?

PPS ALWAYS choose Drake... 

Oh hi, it's just me. Calling this meeting of the Karen fan club to order. (Are you happy now? Because I'm so confused as to how I got here.)

First of all, I'd completely forgotten about this song you used for the title. Such a great choice! But back to the story.

Karen and Pam have weekly Gossip Girl dates. Of course they do. And when the three of them go to lunch and it takes less than an hour for Karen to be all "Just kiss already, you two?" Love that.

Also love how she's like, it's cool... we're friends now Jim, so go get me that guy's phone number."

Listen. I didn't come to this story with the expectation that I was going to not only ship Karen and Paul, but become fucking invested in them and their relationship and let's just go right into the scene that is their fourth date because I have so many things to say about it.

It's not just that she's in deeper than she wanted to be and that she's all but begging him to sleep with her (that's all great!) but its the tiny details of her trying to make things happen; what with the Sinatra, and the getting him to pick her up, and the black dress and she brought a toothbrush with her.

Karen's kind of a genius. And fine, she's just looking for an easy lay but she ends up with a husband and god, these two are perfect for each other and I don't know how you did it.

I don't know what it says about me that one of my favorite parts of Karen's backstory is that Josh's wife is named Jasmine, because the alliteration of that just delights me. Obviously, I hate the rest of the Porter portion of this story, but you put these tiny little moments in and I feel the need to comment on all of them. Not sorry.

But like. Why DID Paul piss on a cop car?

So, I love that both Karen and Paul have been there for Jim and Pam's story since the beginning. It makes Paul's protectiveness of Pam in the previous chapter so much more real.

Do I love that present day Karen and Paul fight over Pam and Jim? I mean, no, but also yes? Because they're really good friends. And he's still calling her Chief. *swoon*

But now we're to the Karen and Jim showdown and you know that gif that's just the guy settling in with his popcorn? That's me right now.

And I'm not disappointed. I love Karen's initial wariness, but I especially love how she almost immediately can't escape the familiarity of their friendship. Even she isn't impervious to Jim's charms. God bless her for teasing him about the Raya profile.

But hey. Thanks for the mini heart attack in which for three seconds, you had me scared that Pam OD'd in New York. But no, it was Ryan. And Pam was there. Why was Pam there, hmm?

" Pam never tells anyone about her dalliances while in New York. She doesn’t talk about the pills or the random hookups or the blackout drinking." This is a lot and I need a minute, but also I want all the details of these dalliances.

Ugh, I relate too much to Karen's instinct to smack some sense into Jim. I appreciate her wanting to take things into her own hands and fix their problems for them and I know way too well how hard it is for her to bite her tongue, offer vague suggestions, and then sit back and wait for these two idiots to sort themselves out on their own.

Maybe Paul SHOULD take her to the range. She probably has some aggression to work out after all of that.

This is one of my favorite chapters in a story of favorite chapters so... good luck topping this. ;)

Author's Response:

Man, this review is full of so much that I'm just blown over. 

So, in short, yeah I kind of fell in love with writing Karen and Paul. Way more than expected. If I was an author IRL they would get their own spinoff series. And the cop car thing was related to a stray football, the cop getting unnecessarily authoritative, and one too many Long Island Iced Teas.   

I knew the OD would have that reaction; it was only for a minute that I considered dragging out that revelation. You're welcome. ;) 

Thank you so so so much for this incredibly kind review. I won't lie. I'm a little worried about topping this chapter now. :D  

Spotted: Jim and Pam and Karen and Paul having the best adult sleepover ever. What can I even say about this flashback? I’m never going to be able to go into a Whole Foods without smirking ever again. I’m not mad about that.

Hey, let’s talk about Karen for a second before I get into this story. She got bangs. Karen got bangs after a break up with Paul, and you put the best tiny details into this story and my favorite part about reading it is finding these little gems.

Anyways. Now they’re at the mural, and why do I get kind of choked up every time Jim tells Pam he’s proud of her?

Listen. I love that all of this – the confessions, the fight, the kiss – it all takes place in a parking lot, but not the DM parking lot. The symmetry is really nice, and I appreciate you didn’t take the easy route of putting them back in familiar territory.

“I came back for you.” I mean, I was already super invested in this chapter, but the build-up of the fight from this line all the way to Pam’s “I went to your goddamned engagement party…” It’s.. it’s just so very good. All of it. I don’t think I breathed while reading their fight? And I knew what Pam’s comeback was going to be, but it still felt like a sucker punch. And then everything after that? Jim freaking apologizes to her for her showing up at his engagement party. That entire moment, when he doesn’t know what to do or say, it’s now firmly in my top 5 favorite emotional moments of this entire story.

AND THEN SHE KISSES HIM. AND HE KISSES HER BACK. Yeah he does.

“Pam bites her bottom lip because it’s really all too much with him like this. Wanting to lighten the mood, she pushes her fingertips against his pectoral muscles, and, with an exaggerated jaw drop, mouths, “Wow. So strong.”” Like, thank you for this because *I* needed the same break from that moment.

“But, Jesus, Pam actually stands up and takes a gulp of wine at seeing Jim’s name on her phone. She picks up a teal throw pillow and resettles into a corner of the couch, clutching the pillow and her wineglass like it’s her mid-thirties version of a security blanket.” I ask this every chapter, but seriously, how do you do this? That whole carefully casual goodnight phone call made me grin, because it’s so sweet, and Pam just wants to sneak into Jim’s parents’ house and who can blame her?

The idea of 10 more chapters of this makes me happier than you’ll ever know.

xoxo, Coley.

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Oh, I really liked this a lot! Toby is one of those background characters that fits so well in so many other character stories that it’s nice to his own story. Even if it is one where his daughter thinks she needs to take psych classes just to understand him. Side note: I loved the Sasha/Tony dynamic here.

The idea of a group chat was perfect and it all went down how I assume a real one would. I could read Kevin’s messages exactly in his tone of voice. And I like that Pam was there to gently encourage him to start writing. Thanks for sharing this, it was a great read!

They're so in love with each other. Yes Pam, get that bed freshly made!