He's playful and animated, quippy and sexy, and always, always just a little bit dark. I enjoyed this just as much upon a re-read. I love your characterizations of Karen and Jim. Enjoyed the rhythm of the piece, with the section breaks. The last longer paragraph is amazing.
I loved this: it's just another brick in the wall around him.
One technical note: a horse's reins are spelled without the "g." I think.
Overall, this was excellent.
Awesome catch, thank you! Damned non-specific spell check...
I'm glad the story holds up, that's awesome to hear. Thanks for reviewing, volunteerduty.
Karen realizes that it's not going to work out with Jim and decides to pursue other options.
Spoilers through The Merger
Ha! Nice surprise ending there.
Good story. I really liked this line: He seemed detached enough to be sensible. And this -- At least he had some manners -- made me giggle.
I like your characterizations of Jim and Karen. Ryan is nice and openly sleazy, as well. I like how he shows his true colors at the end.
As far as constructive criticism, this line felt a bit like telling rather than showing: There was definitely something else going on here.
Keep writing!
Thanks so much! I tried to get Karen right-ish, but wasn't sure I succeeded.
Ah, yes, showing vs telling. I'll definitely keep that in mind in my next fic. Thanks for the suggestion!
Gah! I love this, it's so funny and silly! Love your Pam and Jim. I'm glad she decided to confide in him. Can't wait for the next installment.
Five occasions (four written, one verbal) where Pam sends Jim the right message. Speculation post-Merger.This was so original! I loved the notes as the thread through the whole piece. Glad to see Pam giving to Jim. And I adored this line: Finally there will be a parking lot conversation that ends the way it should.
This was submitted for the Office Fiction Writers Challenge. Kevin Malone decides to try his hand at creative writing.This story makes me do a little happy dance. So funny! There's not a lot written from Kevin's point of view, and you really captured his tone. You win a Dundie for humor.
Pam got her nerve a little sooner then "Beach Games" and sends a private gift to Jim in Stamford. Jim has some thoughts on the matter.
Spoilers through Initiation.
(This story has been edited it's actually only 1,624 words long)
This was wonderful! Very convincing Jim POV, I think, which can't be easy to do. It was mildly angsty yet funny in unexpected places, like every time Jim re-read a line.
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm so glad I was able to get into the brain of Jim, it being difficult since I'm a 24 year old female, but who knew?
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