Jim and Pam have 24 hours together before he leaves for Stamford. A lot can happen when you're on borrowed time.There seems to be only enough guilt for one of us to feel, and it appears to be her turn. For now.
Swiff! Are you KIDDING me? Guh... how awesome is that line? Okay, I know I'll be saying this a lot, but this is my favorite chapter so far. Awkward factor 5 plus adorkableness factor 15 multiplied by brilliance factor 112. :)
Also...Pajama!Pam? Well, that's about the cutest thing ever.
Oh, and you're going to think I'm sucking up or lying or whatever, but I always believed that "Singin In The Rain" was Pam's all time #1 favorite movie. True story. So, do you want to get out of my sub-conscious, or shall I? :-P
Oh, Swiff... that was FANASTIC! No, I don't think I'll be grabbing the tomatoes, unless it's to make them into a tasty marinara sauce for the Italian dinner I feel I should make you as a way of saying "thanks" for such a great chapter! :)
I had no doubts whatsoever that you'd safely navigate these two kids in a realistic and believable fashion through these uneasy and unsure wee small hours of the morning, and this chapter is proof that you're doing that in your usual brilliant way. Bravo!!
Okay, the archive is back, you've got a rockin' new chapter up--which you already know my feelings on--and suddenly I can breathe again. :)
All is right with the world.
Okay, I've been in a internet-less, fanfic-less, Office-less purgatory for the past few days, so this evoked quite a reaction from me. Imagine, if you will, a drowning man who has just broken the surface of the water and taken his first gulp of fresh air. Combine that with some sort of drug addict who has been suffering through withdrawls and has just gotten his fix. Add to that someone who has been in a third world country with the Peace Corps for a year, and is biting into his very first cheeseburger. Toss in a few hundred other various smiles, happy thoughts, blissful memories, and breakdancing unicorns, and you just might have an inkling of how wonderful I thought this was.
Now, who wants to drive to Stamford with these two? I do! :)
PERFECT. You took this chapter in exactly the right direction, and I think you're laying the groundwork for some really important scenes to come. And I can't wait to see what you do with it all. :)
And congratulations on being the first person to ever write a "Jim gives a speech to Pam about his feelings" moment that sounded 100% true to character! For once, Jim doesn't sound like he's writing a term paper for Emo Studies 1050. :-P
Bravo, Swiff... bravo!
Another triumph! This chapter was just what you needed at this point--a chance for Jim to try and sort out a few things in his mind. Also, I've always said that Sleepy!Pam is the cutest Pam of all the Pams. :)
Also, there's so many wonderful little gems in this chapter, such as "watching my future approach at 75 MPH," or how Jim realizes that his circular thinking now comes with an expiration date.
But I think my favorite moment was when Jim told the cop that Pam was his girlfriend and he thought "damned if it didn't feel good to call her that."
This story has me wondering if it's possible for you to actually write something that's NOT excellent! I'm thinking....no. :)
*Mose at the Dairy Queen drive thru*
Go ahead and order when you're ready, sir.
Thanks. I need the biggest chocolate chip cookie dough Blizzard you've got.
Okay, sir, can I get you anything else?
Nope, that'll do it. Oh, wait...
Yes?
Is there anyway you could gift wrap it?
You want to gift wrap a Blizzard?
Yeah. It's a gift for a friend. She wrote an awesome chapter for her story, and she deserves this.
Uh, I'll have to ask my manager...
Never mind, I'll deliver it myself:
http://www.allesamerika.com/images/dairy-queen-blizzard.jpg
:)
*smiggle*
That was awesome :) You rock so hard you don't even know it but you do!!!
You. Rock.
That is all. :)
Hey! Check it out! I found me some interwebs! And all it took to lure me out on a post-turkey coma was a new chapter! And what a great one it was, too. I loved them going into the actual building--a much better idea than my simple "let's guess which office window is Jim's."
And how great was it that Jim's first impression of Karen was of someone a little grouchy! Of course, the fact that Pam was with him certainly didn't hurt anything, either.
Fantastic chapter, m'dear, and bravo!
Oh... yeah. :)
And you think I'M notorious for cliff hangers? I love what you did with this chapter. It makes such perfect sense in a crazy sort of way. And that's a testament to your skill as a writer. You've started with a premise that we're all so familiar with--Casino Night--and you have successfully re-created a universe with much happier outcomes. At least so far. :)
I loved the paragraph with Jim explaining his "spontaneous" idea for a date--as if he hadn't thought about it a million times before, indeed! ;) And the tension you have built up right there at the end...well, yeah. I think Jim could have used a dip in cold water right about then. :)
Bravo! Such a great little treat for a Thursday!
Haha oh my, that wasn't exactly what I was going for with the throwing himself in the water, but I suppose you're right :-P
Thanks so much for all the kind words and amazing support you've had with this story. You really don't know how much it means to me to know I've got such a great cheering section behind this particular endeavor :) As always, you rock.
ALSO!! A little bird just told me that I completely forgot to mention something in my review for this chapter. I apologize profusely. Allow me to rectify that now:
*ahem*
You RULE for mentioning MST3K in this chapter. Like, you don't even realize how much you rule for that reference. Kings? Presidents? Emperors? Psh. Amateurs. You own them all with a single MST reference. Nicely played. Somewhere, Tom Servo and Crow are looking down from the Satellite of Love and smiling.
I can't believe you left a completely separate review for that :-P Such a dork /Jim
But thanks :)
It does my heart a world of good to see this story back up at the top of the "most recent" page. :) Let's try and make this a habit, shall we?
Oh, Swiff, you already know my thoughts on this, but WOW this is a great chapter. I love how you refuse to pull any sort of punches, and you let Jim go just a little bit too far. It's very real, as is Pam's reaction.
Now then, i second what Lisahoo has suggested: that you update soon so that we find out where that cab is headed! :)
A big 'ol YAY from me, as you know! I love the range of emotions that Jim goes through with these messages. I can hear the frustration, the trying-to-gloss-everything-over-with-humor, and even the anger in his voice.
Great job, my friend!
Swiffer! Are you KIDDING me??!? I wake up to find an update! WOO HOO!! :D
Now, why in the world would anyone in their right mind hate you for this chapter? It was great! Love Jim's observations of the other patrons contrasted with his own sense of confusion and patheticness. :D And, call me crazy, but I like to think that Jim saw himself in the old guy--if only for a split second or two. I don't know. Maybe it was the way he thought about "routine" and "tradition." Anyway, it was a nice touch.
But the highlight of this chapter was Jim's conversation with his sister. I adored that she answered the phone "What did you do?" as if it was the most common thing in the world. Made me laugh to beat the band, in the parlance of our times. :D
Anyway, I'd really like to know what happens next, so, if you don't mind??...
Pam and I make mild, meaningless conversation; the kind you make right after a huge fight when nothing’s been really resolved but you decide to go on with your lives anyway. Outside our little booth, the unspoken truth glares at us, desperate and itching to makes its way through the safe, laugh-filled bubble we’ve created for ourselves. But we don’t let it. We eat our Tex Mex burger and tuna melt (a first for me, I’m not sure I like it), talk about reality TV, and evaluate whatever stupid thing Michael did the other day. It’s how we exist; whether inside the office or at a diner in Stamford, Connecticut, this is us. And I’m starting to realize that will never, ever change.
Holy... guh...
WOW.
So, it's not enough for you to come back and give me an update; you have to wallop me across the brain box with something as brilliant as that paragraph right there? :)
Whew... *Mose takes a moment to collect his thoughts, which are currently lying scattered about the room in a general state of higgely-piggeldy*
Nope. Can't do it. I can't form a coherent thought just yet. But know this, my dear Swiff: Out of the park, do you hear? You knocked this chapter out. of. the. park.
Also-- WOO HOO! For stalking Letterman! :)
Swiff!! It does my heart so much good to see your story back where it belongs! Srsly. Kthnx. :D
You know most of my thoughts about this already, but I'll repeat them here because this story is so dawesome it deserves all the reviews it can handle!
Love the difference in how the car's engine sounds to Jim, how it no longer sounds hopeful anymore. Love the smooch as well--even if it was more Jack/Rose than Lloyd/Diane--it was a perfect moment and very well written. And I love that Pam is now "in the driver's seat" as it were. Symbolic, much? :D
Now, let's not make this whole thousand years between updates thing become a habit, shall we? Good.
10 SWIFF!! Are you KIDDING me??!!? How over the moon happy am I to see this back up on the top of the update page where it belongs? :)
Okay, let's just get to the laundry list of awesome things about this chapter:
1. "Do you always use that much tongue?" - SMORT. I've always loved that line. I'm glad you kept it.
2. "I love this new game we're playing." Me too. :D
3. The whole "curling pinkies around each other" thing. *barfs rainbows of happiness* (Seriously, though, it's a fantastic and subtle image that reverberates so loudly).
4. "I just... kind of want to get out of this car." Oh, the urgency... ;)
Once again, a triumph! Could not be happier about this update. Let's keep the momentum going, shall we? Okay, good.
10 You tweaked the ending a little bit! And I love where you're headed with all this. You know my feelings about this story, obviously, but I have to tell you how happy it makes me to see it nearing the finish line! (makes me think I ought to be looking for my own finish line. ;P)
Author's Response:
Fine, you give me non-detailed reviews, I give you a vague author's response:
Thanks for reading!
Haha, I just kid, my friend. You know how much I appreciate you and couldn't write this story without your help!
10 Is there anyplace more romantic than the toilet paper display at Rite-Aid? I think not. :D
It does the 'ol heart GALLONS of good to see this back again. And, speaking as one who is approaching the one year anniversary of his own unfinished story, I extend a fist bump of solidarity. :D
10 And just like that, we who are reading this let out a similar breath that we've been holding in for a long time. :D
I've already told you this before, but it's worth repeating here in an official capacity. This is one of your strongest chapters, full of rich language, imagery, and insight. Now, please don't keep us waiting for the last hour, kthnxbai. :D
10 My dear, dear Swiff. How fantastic is it to see an update to this story? Reminds me of the "good old days" when we would write and post with abandon and then sit back and revel in the heady elixir of reviews.
Wow, wouldn't it be funny if I really talked like that? All full of pretension and snobbery? :D
Seriously, it does my heart so much good to see that you're this close to bursting the tape on this one. And this chapter was fabulous in so many ways. Even after all that's happened on the show itself, and the ways in which the characters have evolved and changed, you've still managed to maintain that classic barely-post-casino-night angst and uncertainty that they had at this point. The dialogue rang true, and there were some genuinely sweet and tender moments.
You're an inspiration to the rest of us who have allowed their own unfinished stories to wither on the vine. (Okay, me, anyway. :D)
Great work, my friend!
Ideas for Cold Openings (the pre-title gags) always pop into my head. So these will be just a bunch of teasers that, hopefully, you will find funny. I don't know how many I will post but I'll keep putting them up as they occur to me.
8 Very funny cold opening! I enjoy these script formats, and wish more people would write them.
Your talking heads with Michael and Jim reminded me of a talking head I wrote for Michael once in a story I did. And, if you'll pardon the personal indulgence, I'll share it here:
Michael: Who is the heart of this office, you ask? Well, as boss, it’s definitely me. But just because I’m the heart that doesn’t mean that there aren’t lots of other important organs here as well. So I’m the heart, and Kevin’s the stomach and Dwight’s the…I don’t know…the spleen? And that would make Jim and Pam sort of like the uh… lungs? The kidneys, maybe?
He thinks hard about this.
Michael: Or, no…how about this. Maybe I’m the brain and Jim and Pam are the heart….Except, no… you don’t have two hearts. Wait, am I the brain?
So, I guess great minds think alike, huh? :)
Great job!
Sorry for the double post here, but I didn't know where else to contact you. :) The story in question was called "The Lottery."
You can delete this post if you like. No hard feelings. :)
Michael watched Pam through the blinds. She was so lucky, everyone always wanted to talk to her, hang out with her, be friends with her. Sometimes he wished he could be her. It would all be so easy if he was Pam.
Pam looked up to see Michael staring at her through the blinds. She smiled to herself before turning back to answering the phones. Sometimes she wondered what it was like to be Michael. It must be strange.
There's a rule of the universe. Never wonder the same thing at the same time as someone else. That's a karmic jinx.
9 Muggins!! This story is simultaneously kicking my butt and blowing my mind. It's absolutely hilarious! Off to read the latest chapter!
Author's Response:
"This story is simultaneously kicking my butt and blowing my mind." That's what she said!
10 I've been asked to read the following announcement:
*ahem*
Mose would ordinarily leave a review at this point, but he just died from laughing to hard.
Thank you for your time.