Date: February 21, 2007 09:27 pm Title: DMV
YAY! I suppose you want more detailed crit than that. Well, since this is so short, it is tough to critique, but I really liked how you wrote the Jim/Pam banter. Nice happy fluff ;o)
Date: February 21, 2007 08:41 pm Title: DMV
Nice surprise ending and good job on your first fic!
Date: February 20, 2007 03:36 pm Title: DMV
Oh, this made me smile.
Thanks so much.
cheers.
--Lex
Date: February 19, 2007 11:55 pm Title: DMV
SQEEEEE!!!!!! I shouted, "Oh! Cute! Eee!" Can we please fast-forward the show to times like these? I know they're coming!!! Love!
7 [Report This]Date: February 19, 2007 06:44 pm Title: DMV
I hope posting was easy for you. When you paste in text from Word, you'll get extra spaces between paragraphs - not sure why, but I go through and delete them manually. Prob'ly shoulda told you that before you posted. :)
Again, cute scene. Nice dialogue - I like that you don't use much attribution ("he said", "she said"). And the end is a nice surprise for folks who didn't catch the "future" tag in your notes.
Nice first fic!
Author's Response: Thank you once again for beta reading! I might try my hand at something else in the future. I need something to keep me occupied while at work (and there isn't actual work to do)!
Date: February 19, 2007 05:06 pm Title: DMV
That was great, i'll admit I didn't see it coming. But I loved it. You should definately keep writing!
8 [Report This]Date: February 19, 2007 02:44 pm Title: DMV
I loved the surprise at the end!! Very nicely done!
Date: February 19, 2007 02:13 pm Title: DMV
very sweet! :-)
Date: February 19, 2007 09:31 am Title: DMV
I read all the time about smiles creeping across one's face, but it has yet to happen this obviously to me until I read this line:
"Pam hung up the phone and threw it into her bag. 'Hi, I need to request a name change on my license and title from Beesly to Halpert.'"
Bravo.
10 [Report This]Date: February 19, 2007 07:25 am Title: DMV
I had a hunch where this was going.. and I was right! yeah! If only...
Date: February 19, 2007 05:26 am Title: DMV
aww, short, but a nice ending. :)
Date: February 19, 2007 12:41 am Title: DMV
Wow---I was not expecting that! That was---wow. You should really write more!!
10 [Report This]Date: February 18, 2007 08:34 pm Title: DMV
*speechless* I have to admit, the ending surprised me, in a good way of course, because the conversation seemed so...normal for them if they weren't married! *grins from ear to ear* I loved it!