9 [Report This]Date: October 29, 2007 08:03 pm Title: and never trust a heart that is so bent it can't break
Oh, wow...the POV is good. Definitely different. In fact it took me a few lines to figure out who was who. But it seems so real, so familiar (luckily not any time recently!). Fantabulous!
9 [Report This]Date: April 11, 2007 07:09 pm Title: and never trust a heart that is so bent it can't break
"It’s just that when you look at me like that, broken and tired, I love her a little less and you a little more and it’s not something I’m ready for." I loved this line, and loved the whole story. You have such a gift for writing the most beautiful stories that really tug at the heart.
Date: April 11, 2007 06:29 pm Title: and never trust a heart that is so bent it can't break
I love the idea of Jim jotting down sentences for his (inevitable) late-night talks with Karen.
9 [Report This]Date: April 09, 2007 08:14 pm Title: and never trust a heart that is so bent it can't break
I don't even know what to say. I envy how seamlessly you slip into these people's hearts and minds and souls. Beautiful POV.
Date: April 09, 2007 04:44 pm Title: and never trust a heart that is so bent it can't break
Interesting. I like this in-depth view of Jim's feelings. I like that Pam's apology/attempt to admit she shouldn't have gone to Roy might be sinking in with Jim after a few days.
Jim actually looked pretty haggard to me after the confrontation with Roy, and it would have been after a weekend. So, I could certainly see talks like this taking place (again).
One small criticism is that I had to kind of look ahead to make sure whose POV we were getting. I thought it was Jim, but I had to jump ahead to check. It may be a personal thing; when it isn't extremely clear who's "talking", I'm compelled to skip ahead. What? Obsessive-compulsive? Maybe, maybe.
I really like the "I don't know" being different than an implied "I don't know".
Also, you've been smart here. You didn't have them break up or something definitive, so no matter how the show goes, this could fit into the week between The Negotiation and the next show. Way to keep it from AU!
You also have that sort of "moment in time" thing which I tend to enjoy. No enormous action or forward movement, but a fully defined moment. Good job!
10 [Report This]Date: April 09, 2007 04:40 pm Title: and never trust a heart that is so bent it can't break
Da-yum, girl. You do it every time. You just yank my heart out and stomp all over it, with such style and grace I have to applaud. This was completely believable. Sounded exactly like Jim. And I love that moment when he says “I don’t know,” and it means something completely different than all of those times “I don’t know” was just implied in my silences.
Beautifully written, as always. Going in my favorites file...
10 [Report This]Date: April 09, 2007 03:32 pm Title: and never trust a heart that is so bent it can't break
Once again you remain the master of the painful angsty interaction. I was impressed with the perspective you used in this story too.
Date: April 09, 2007 03:11 pm Title: and never trust a heart that is so bent it can't break
*gasp* My heart! So painful but I can see their talks going exactly like this. Eeep!