Date: April 24, 2007 07:37 pm Title: Prologue: How is New York?
Classic scenario or not, I LOVE IT! This story has quickly become something I look forward to at the end of my day so I'm so thankful to see a chapter tonight! I loved the imagery you created with the firefly/cigarette and Pam's dad. That was beautiful and brilliant. You've also just done a really nice job of capturing their playful side! Can't wait for the rest!
Date: April 24, 2007 06:16 pm Title: Hands, pockets, mothers, and beds.
“Pam’s bed is a double, there’ll be plenty of room.”
And you gotta love that. Or at least, I do! I like the hands in pockets thing - neat.
Date: April 24, 2007 04:10 pm Title: Hands, pockets, mothers, and beds.
You're right - a classic. Good luck with that one.
10 [Report This]Date: April 24, 2007 02:10 pm Title: Hands, pockets, mothers, and beds.
Ok - wow - this is like super good. i really ,really, really like it a lot! I just read all the chapters you've written in a row - and seriously, I CANT WAIT to read the next chapter. Please, please, please update soon!!!! You write Jim and Pam really well by the way - totalyl realistic!!!
Date: April 24, 2007 01:06 pm Title: Hands, pockets, mothers, and beds.
This continues to get more and more compelling...you're just bringing so much to the table here...the vivid details, the sharp characterization, the psychological insights, the unique plot. It seems that for a change the universe is comspiring to push them together rather than keeping them apart.
One thing I particularly liked about this chapter is the fact that even though the Beeslys are grieving, they are still themselves...I think a lot of writers would have written this with the heaviness and grief just drowning everything else out, but that's really not how it goes, usually.
My favorite moment: He cleared his throat and shoved his hands into his pockets, watching the way Pam‘s mother’s face fell as she tracked the action with her eyes. He wondered what she was thinking about. Pam didn’t wonder…Pam had thought it a thousand times, and this made a thousand and one. Her father had been tall…large…with large hands that he had always stuffed into large pockets
I hope you plan on writing lots and lots around here...this is just amazing, one of my favorites ever.
Date: April 24, 2007 12:31 pm Title: Hands, pockets, mothers, and beds.
Jim was frozen in place, feeling the weight of her words and feeling totally unworthy of them. Pam’s bed…was a double… Heeeeee! Can't wait for the next installment!
Um, yeah. You should.
Jesus Christ.
10 [Report This]Date: April 24, 2007 10:34 am Title: Hands, pockets, mothers, and beds.
Well, I think my thoughts on the next chapter should be obvious. It's a double bed, and that girl needs comforting. ;-)
Good job - looking forward to more!
Date: April 24, 2007 10:12 am Title: Hands, pockets, mothers, and beds.
Oh, I can hardly wait for more! "Pam's bed is a double..." I can't wait to see what you do with that scenario!
My favorite line is easily: "Her laughter tickled the air around him and made him feel warm." You've got a knack for imagery and description; I could really see and feel everything you described. More, more, more!! --CH
10 [Report This]Date: April 24, 2007 09:39 am Title: Prologue: How is New York?
I'm really enjoying this story. I like the complexity that you have created here, with Pam and her dad not having had the ideal "Daddy's little girl" relationship. I also really enjoy your writing style. The paragraph where Pam watches the firefly that turns into her father's cigarette is just beautiful. I'm looking forward to more!
Date: April 24, 2007 09:35 am Title: Hands, pockets, mothers, and beds.
His head snapped up and he was ripped from his imaginings as he heard the front door swing shut and a lock click into place. Very cute. I think you're doing such a sensitive job of developing this scenario. Pam's mom is just as great as we remember her being, and the cliffhanger is just fun to contemplate. I can't wait to see what's next!
Date: April 24, 2007 09:23 am Title: Hands, pockets, mothers, and beds.
OH this is really starting to get good! not that the other chapters weren't, but especially now! Pam forgetting Jim and then sharing the bed? Ooooh snap! I can't wait for more! Great job
Date: April 24, 2007 09:06 am Title: Hands, pockets, mothers, and beds.
Pam's bed is a double! Yay. Am excited for the next chapter!
Totally loving the drama and teh raw emotions that you're creating here.
Date: April 24, 2007 08:41 am Title: Hands, pockets, mothers, and beds.
hahaha! we all know that pam's mom is playing matchmaker! she's always wanted pam to be with jim. at least subconciously. even in her grief she's trying to take care of her daughter. i think it's preciously wonderful. can't wait to see what happens next.
i also like jim remembering again what a jerk he's been to pam the past few weeks. he'll come around eventually.
10 [Report This]Date: April 24, 2007 08:35 am Title: Hands, pockets, mothers, and beds.
I absolutely loved that chapter..The chocolate cake line cracked me up..She had two pieces!!! hahhahahahaha!!!! Not even Jim Halpert comes between a woman and her chocolate!!
Date: April 23, 2007 10:58 pm Title: It's what you do to me.
Wow. Just caught up with this and so glad I did. It's so beautifully written. And you have a really good grasp of who Jim and Pam are and how they managed to get themselves to this awkward, estranged place.
Really enjoying it, especially with lines like:
'She had broken his heart once, and since then he had been hoarding the pieces, disallowing her from knowing that they existed.'
Looking forward to more!
Date: April 23, 2007 10:09 pm Title: It's what you do to me.
Oh man, you wrote this part about Pam feeling like every word that was coming out of her mouth was very meaningful (I'm not sure that's the word you used, but for some reason this thing isn't allowing me to cut and paste. lol) and that she wasn't used to that. Man, I hope this becomes a trend for her in this story! Now that Jim has realized he's still completley in love with her, it'd be so great for this trip to end up being about more than tragedy. Thanks so much for such an engaging, poignant story!
10 [Report This]Date: April 23, 2007 06:14 pm Title: It's what you do to me.
I just read Chapters 1-8 and have to say Wow. It really kept me on the edge of my seat as I read it, the way the angst kept ratcheting up more and more till I thought it couldn't be any more angsty. I swear I felt the pain as much as Pam did. I loved the last scene in her apartment - her pain was so raw as she let herself lean on him. And this chapter, the details about his CD case and his thoughts of her while she slept. Great job. I can't wait to read more.
Author's Response: Thank you, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Please keep reading and keep reviewing!
Date: April 23, 2007 04:05 pm Title: Prologue: How is New York?
Can I just say that I'm very excited to see where this goes? I think you've got a great opening chapter here- I can't wait to see what has happened between these two, and what will happen. Yay!
....off to read more
10 [Report This]Date: April 23, 2007 11:51 am Title: It's what you do to me.
I finally gave in to temptation and started reading this today. I sometimes try to ignore a story until it's completed because otherwise, no matter how much I like it, I tend to forget about it if it isn't updated for several days. I don't think I'll be forgetting about this one any time soon though.
The thing I like best about this show is how it can make me cry and laugh in the same moment. It is the funniest thing I know and so heart-breakingly serious sometimes that it nearly kills me. The seriousness is hard to see sometimes because it's not all over the place the way the funny is. Occasionally I wish there was more seriousness but then it wouldn't be on tv any more :) So your story is especially kind to dorks like me who every now and then find themselves wishing the show had a little less funny, you know?
I guess I am saying that I like what you call the "angst." It's not entirely angst, it's just real. I love it.
Of particular note is back in chapter 5 (I think) when Pam is thinking about Jim standing "like a man stands in the doorway of a woman." The whole internal monologue about being children and being grown up really hit the nail on the head. Everything is just really, really well done. And after reading through the other comments, I kind of wish I had read Phantom Bruises when it still had its math geek title :)
Author's Response:
lol I know I feel kind of bad for editing that out so completely. Jim had a whole bit of dialogue about if p then q, but I guess I could see that maybe that was out of character. I think i still have it on my computer if you want me to email it to you ;-)
Thank you so much for this wonderful review! I agree, I usually watch dramas, so alot of times the hints of drama that the Office gives me makes me want so much more!! No wonder I wrote something so heavy.
Please keep reading and reviewing! Thanks for the support.
10 [Report This]Date: April 23, 2007 10:38 am Title: It's what you do to me.
I've been reading and loving this more and more and not reviewing and am going to try to atone for that here.
Sheltered, ignorant Jim Halpert who thought people were like chess pieces that you could just rearrange. He could no better rearrange himself away from Pam than grass could suddenly turn itself blue. He knew that now. He just had to allow himself to accept it. That one goes into my best paragraphs hall of fame.
So much good stuff here, you turn so many really nice phrases. The device of Jim's bitter facade being decimated by larger events-and Pam accepting him out of need and weariness-is really interesting. It's a delicate thing to write about, and you've managed it beautifully throughout this story. This is the rare story where I find myself getting more and more invested with every chapter, with this chapter earning a click on the "Add Author to Favorites" link.
Author's Response: THANK YOU SO MUCH! Thanks especially for the specifics of your review, I love to know exactly what it was that made someone want to comment, and you eloquently answered that for me. I'll try to keep posting and keep the reality of the story in tact. Let me know how you like the updates and thanks again for reading ;-)
9 [Report This]Date: April 23, 2007 09:52 am Title: It's what you do to me.
I love that they're at once so comfortable and yet so confused around each other. The fact that he realizes he's hurt her without realizing why (because she loves him) is so, so spot-on for his character.
Date: April 23, 2007 08:47 am Title: It's what you do to me.
Another poignant chapter. Even the short words shared between them held great significance. I love the description of the CD case and how Pam fell asleep hugging it to her chest. And I also liked Jim feeling overwhelmed too, as if he finally unblocked a dam he's been trying to hold back since Casino Night and now it's all flooding around him.
I really look forward to where this all goes.
Date: April 23, 2007 08:41 am Title: It's what you do to me.
Great new chapter. I'm loving this story and how Jim is finally being jolted out of his frozen nature towards Pam and returning to normal Jim. Also, Hey There Delilah is also used in one of my fav Jam videos on YouTube, so it made me smile when you used those lyrics.
Date: April 23, 2007 08:28 am Title: Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.
I enjoyed the first two chapters. I could certainly follow them without difficulty. I think it is a good first fanfic! You had me laughing with this: "She was the president of the Anti-Pam club." It is quite true that Pam is her own worst enemy.
10 [Report This]Date: April 23, 2007 07:44 am Title: It's what you do to me.
So, just sat down and caught up with this whole story this morning. Going through, really involved, really enjoying it. Then I get to this chapter to and see that you used "Hey There Delilah".
And you rock my world.
I get so excited when authors throw great songs tastefully into a story (which seems to be quite frequent in this fandom!), and this song is just SO perfect. (And I'll spare you my 'Plain White T's aren't getting as much attention as they should be' rant, which is really irrelevant because this song is so different from anything else that they do.)
ANYWAY! Really excited to see where this story goes! Also, Pam's "Help me" broke my heart in that painfully beautiful kinda way. Just great!