1 [Report This]Date: February 08, 2022 07:03 am Title: Act Three
This is canon-quality cringe humor.
Date: July 24, 2008 12:09 pm Title: Act Four and Tag
I love that you had the engagement be silent. What a great touch!
Author's Response: I'm glad that you liked that. I thought it was a nice compromise between actually seeing the proposal and Jim and Pam wanting some privacy for it. Thank you for taking the time to review belsum.
Date: July 24, 2008 10:39 am Title: Act One
Wow. I don't even know how I'm going to remember all the things I want to call genius! Michael saying "revolutionish" and calling a meeting for 40 minutes later. Oh and Michael telling everyone to strap themselves on. HEE! I love the set-up and that everything follows so smoothly from the events of the finale - from Holly's crush on Michael to the Slow Kevin bit to Phyllis seeing Angela with Dwight. Brilliant work.
Author's Response: Wow, thank you for such a nice review. I'm glad that you felt like things flowed from the finale, that was really a main goal of mine in writing this. It only takes place around a week (At the beginning) from it, and so most of the storylines are still relevant. Thank you again for the review belsum.
10 [Report This]Date: July 23, 2008 06:07 am Title: Act Four and Tag
Very cool. I really enjoyed the confusion over Jim and Pam being engaged and/or Pam being knocked up. And the whole mics off thing seemed very realistic to me, I love how the proposal went. This show wants to make us not so privy to everything that happens so that felt really Office like. Great!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review kgreene. I'm glad that you liked the proposal and the other scene as well. I like to write those kind of scenes, they are a little difficult to convey in only words, but hopefully it gets through. Thanks again!
Date: July 14, 2008 11:38 am Title: Act Four and Tag
OK, this was adorable. I think you've managed to convey that wonderful mix of awkward and sweet and laugh-out-loud that the episodes do. And of course we got an engagement, and that is always good! Very nicely constructed, and I especially like the way you've written Michael.
Author's Response: I'm glad that you liked the way I've written Michael. I think he kind of swings from being an obnoxious kid to a tragic grownup, and I enjoy sort of showing both sides of that my self. Thank you for taking the time to review nqllisi.
10 [Report This]Date: July 13, 2008 09:08 pm Title: Act Four and Tag
ahhhh!
AMAZING!!!!
Author's Response: Haa, thank you! I'm glad that you liked it Dwangie.
Date: July 13, 2008 08:06 pm Title: Act Four and Tag
very good story! i could have used more JAM, but i feel that way about the real show sometimes. ;-) thanks so much for sharing!
Author's Response: I'm glad that you liked it officerules06. I think we can always use more JAM (at least I know I can) but with the proposal at the end I didn't want to go too heavy during the "episode" as a whole. Thanks again.
10 [Report This]Date: July 13, 2008 06:29 pm Title: Act Four and Tag
WOW! I don't know how I missed this story. I just read all 5 chapters in one sitting and felt like I watched the lost S4 episode!
Everyone was completely written in character and you pulled off the JAM stuff amazingly! Just the right amount of sweetness without being overly sentimental. I really felt for both Jim and Pam..you wrote them so true to character, I felt just as anxious while reading your script as I do when I watch an authentic episode.
I'm actually glad I read it all in one sitting because it flowed so well and like I said, made me feel as if I was experiencing an actual episode.
I don't normally like the script format fics (which is maybe why I missed it when it was originally posted), but this was just...WOW! /Pam
Author's Response: Thank you very much Abigail. I'm glad that the whole thing flowed together for you,and that you found things in character, those are the two things I try to achieve most of all. I'm glad that you liked the JAM stuff especially, I was worried how people might view the scene with Pam in the stairwell or the proposal, so I'm glad that they seemed to work for you. I appreciate you taking the time to leave such a nice review!
10 [Report This]Date: July 13, 2008 06:26 pm Title: Act Three
this is incredible! it is as if i am reading an actual screenplay from the writers of the office! WOWWWWW!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the nice words and the review Dwangie!
10 [Report This]Date: July 13, 2008 05:40 pm Title: The Cold Open
holy crap! that was completely in character! WOW!!! i LOVED every bit of it!!!
Author's Response: I'm glad that you found it in character Dwangie, and thank you for taking the time to review!
10 [Report This]Date: July 13, 2008 07:01 am Title: Act Four and Tag
I admittedly haven't been reading much newer fic lately--outside of those submitted for moderation--but I wanted to tell you that I thought this was absolutely amazing. I wish more people would try the script format. It helps fill the void of not having the show around. :D
In terms of writing and characterizations, you've nailed it. I dare say that the characters sound more realistic here than I've heard them on most of S4. ;) Great balance of humor and tension, but never going too far with one or the other. That's a delicate line to walk, and I think you managed it perfectly.
Thank you for writing this, as it's helping to reignite my own will to read and write fic. :D
Author's Response: What a lovely review! and I believe that you are the reason I now have a shiny blue ribbon next to this story (as I believe you did with A Kwanzaa Christmas as well), so doubly thank you! I'm not sure why more people don't try script-format, to me its different but still an interesting way to create fic. Thank you for the ribbon and the very nice review, I appreciate it Cousin Mose.
Date: July 12, 2008 06:48 pm Title: Act Four and Tag
Pitch perfect amount of tension with Pam & Jim. And a proposal I could imagine being captured on film. Although I really want to see it, I can't imagine Jim giving that to the cameras.
AWESOME episode, DFG!
Author's Response:
I agree with you about Jim not giving that to the cameras, and I'd be very surprised if they showed Jim's proposal on the show. I went back and forth about it a little, but in the end I wanted to see him propose and I wanted it to seem a little realistic, so I found a middle in them taking off their mics.
Thank you very much for you review lisahoo, I appreciate it very much.
Date: July 12, 2008 06:31 pm Title: Act Two
OMG, " My job can only be done by me [beat] or any other random person." is about the funniest thing I've read in a loooong time! And Phyllis is a sneaky devil. I cannot wait to see what she does to Angela!
Author's Response: I'm glad that you liked that line. I'm kind of a fan of quietdesperation!Pam, which is now pretty much gone from the show, but her job can still be mined for that. Thank you for the review lisahoo!
10 [Report This]Date: July 12, 2008 03:37 pm Title: Act Four and Tag
O..M..G... I LOVED it!!!!
Author's Response: Well I glad that you did, BuffyFreak7. Thank you for all of your reviews for this story, I appreciate that you took the time to let me know how you felt about my little story.
Date: July 01, 2008 11:40 am Title: Act Three
I just want to throw confetti or something; this is so damn good! Loved the confusion about Jim & Pam getting engaged, and Andy's lowered voice, "Is there a Little Tuna on the way?" literally made me laugh right out loud.
I loved the callback to "Hot Girl," with the whole, "We're just dating" comment, and that Jim bristled at that. (Also, everyone's excitement/confusion over the Jim/Pam pregnancy reminded me of the Afghanastannanies bit from CN -- hilarious.)
Your Creed is gold -- just gold. :o)
While I am so sorry to see that this was the last chapter, I'll definitely be waiting for updates to this one -- I feel like I've just watched an episode! Just outstanding work, dundiefromgod!
Author's Response: I'm glad that you liked the "Little Tuna" line, that was my favorite line of this chapter. Also, you're right-on with the idea that the scene is supposed to mirror the bit from CN. Aside from like, Jim and Pam, my favorite scenes in TO are ensemble ones with quick dialogue and usually some confusion, which I employed in Act One as well. Also, I always in my stories try to have one Creed TH, with he says something strange, like in the show. Thanks again for the awesome reviews girl7, I appreciate you taking the time to give me such wonderful feedback.
Date: July 01, 2008 11:29 am Title: Act Two
I'm refraining from quoting so I don't throw off the formatting like I did in my other review. But I'm still doing my bullet list (lol):
- Dwight sent Mose to the woods because he has a treehouse there? Oh dear god. So funny.....
- The entire Kelly-Holly thing was pure gold, right down to Holly's last talking head. ("Is this normal?" lol)
- I feel like I'm just repeating myself, but honestly, I can't tell you enough times how perfectly you write both the dialogue and the tone -- Michael's hushed, "You're leaving," followed by his uber-emotional, "I'll give you fifteen stars if you'll stay"...spot-on.
- "My job can only be done by me [beat] or any other random person." Hah -- so perfectly Pam, that comment (and the deflated look you describe afterward).
- Both the post-it note exchange and the interaction between Phyllis and Angela (made even more perfect by Stanley's, "You'd better not be planning a party....") were hilarious (and again -- for the bazillionth time -- spot on).
- I think the tension you're weaving between Jim & Pam is also well done; true to the show's format, it isn't overdone or too dramatic, but rather, it's a situation in which they've let an inability to communicate effectively get the better of them.
Loving this so much!
Author's Response: Another great review! I'm glad that you liked the different exchanges and Talking Heads. I try really hard to hear the actors actually say them and if they would make sense (its possible I'm slightly crazy). But it helps me to lead to things like having Stanley cap off the Angela-Phyllis exchange, which is something I think they'd do on the show. Also, I'm glad you liked the Pam bit. I was uneasy about thinking it was a little too much, but I maintain that if Jim had jerked her like he has (thanks writers) she would be a little uneasy and questioning herself. Thanks again for the review girl7.
Date: July 01, 2008 11:18 am Title: Act One
There were just too many lines here that made me think, I'll have to mention that in the review, so I'm just going to do a bulleted list, if you don't mind. :o)
"I haven’t decided on the honeymoon yet. Angela doesn’t like the heat [beat] or the cold." Bwah --poor Andy...
- (Sorry about the formatting here; can't get this to stop centering everything....)
PHYLLIS
(while picking up a bag of chips from the vending machine, and looking at the camera)
Well maybe she can decide. -- Hah, this is vintage Phyllis. Just perfect!
Okay, Michael's whole Ryan-related speech was brilliant, right down to the pauses (which you write so incredibly well).
"Strap yourselves on, here we go!" You know, I find Michael-isms really difficult to write, because his slips are usually so subtle (and it's easy to write them in a way that comes off as forced). But this? Quintessential Michael slip. Well done. :o)
Of course Andy's the first one to ask how one goes about accumulating stars! And I loved Holly's comment that everyone there seems really sad. :o) (Also like the very subtle tension you're building with the whole Jim & Pam thing.)
(voice can be heard from Reception throughout the duration of the conversation, nevertheless they both remain on the phone) Tee hee -- love that little detail
Again, the formatting is all screwy here (in my review), but I can't tell you enough how much I'm enjoying this! It really is like reading a script from the show; you have yet to hit a false note. Well done!
Author's Response: Again, another awesome review. I'm glad that you liked the details and small moments that I tried to put in this chapter. Sometimes I plan for them, like Andy and Angela, but other times they just sort of pop-up like Michael's slip. I had that actually written like someone would normally say it and then I went back and thought, "well it is Michael...." and changed it. I'm also glad that you liked the Jim and Pam stuff. I didn't want it to get too heavy or anything, which is why I started off with it. Thanks again for the great review girl7.
Date: July 01, 2008 11:03 am Title: The Cold Open
All right, I had a piece of ice in my mouth when I read this line: "Did you find the right medicine for Jan’s vagina?" ...And let me tell you, I came dangerously close to choking on it. So hilarious (and my god, I can so hear Dwight asking that....)
I've got to tell you, reading this was an absolute treat -- it's pitch perfect (both in terms of characterization as well as tone; you've even got those perfect pauses in there). Just love it!
On to the next chapter!
Author's Response:
I should start by saying that all of your reviews are absolutely awesome, so thanks!
I'm glad that you liked that line from Dwight. I went back and forth on it many times, because while I felt its bluntness wouldn't be out of character for him, I also thought that maybe it was a little too-over-the-top. I think it ends up working, especially when paired with Michael's reaction. Thank you again for this review, girl7.
10 [Report This]Date: June 29, 2008 01:18 pm Title: The Cold Open
I LOVE it. please, please, PLEASE update soon!!!!!!
Author's Response: I'm about to post the last chapter, so while it took longer than I hoped, it's done now! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing BuffyFreak7, I appreciate it.
10 [Report This]Date: June 26, 2008 10:16 am Title: Act Three
Oh, this was really good! I don't often read script format, but I was very pleasantly surprised by this story. Do update soon! :)
Author's Response: I know that script format isn't a very popular style of Fic, but I think its something different to try and write, and certainly to read. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review 823freckles, I appreciate it.
10 [Report This]Date: June 04, 2008 10:05 pm Title: Act Two
Great chapter. Sad way to end it. hope it turns out better! update soon!
Author's Response: I kind of wanted to end on a bit of a cliffhanger, and to realistically show the effects of Jim's lack of proposal. But there is more to come! So thank you for taking the time to review raspberryjam.
10 [Report This]Date: June 04, 2008 10:02 pm Title: Act One
I'm pretty sure I reviewed the first chapter. If not... you're an amazing writer! these seems so real, as if I can actually picture them on tv. Fantastic!
Author's Response: Thank you for the kind words raspberryjam. I'm glad that it felt real to you, that is definitely what I was going for.
Date: June 04, 2008 09:02 pm Title: The Cold Open
Ok, you should officially move to Hollywood and write for the show. Also, don't worry about being a slow writer. I'm a pretty slow writer myself. It once took me several months to write a 55-word fic. True story (note: this story is not true).
Author's Response: Haha, thank you for the kind words, that's very nice of you. I am a tragically slow writer, which is unfortunate because I know people lose interest in my stories because I update so infrequently, but what can I do? Thanks for taking the time to review RomanCandle, I appreciate it.
10 [Report This]Date: June 04, 2008 07:54 pm Title: Act Two
NO!!! NOT THE END! in other words...CONTINUE!
Author's Response: I know, I know, but we're only halfway through the episode, so theres quite a bit left. Thank you for the review and kind words ireallylovetheoffice.
Date: June 04, 2008 05:36 pm Title: The Cold Open
LOVED IT!!! Can't wait for more. please right more soon!!!!
Author's Response: Well, I'm posting ACT TWO in just a minute, so that is really good timing for a request! Thanks for the compliment and taking the time to review BuffyFreak7.