1

LOVE IT!!!!!!!

I hope you don't mind if I am completely honest here. First and foremost, I really, really liked this last chapter. I loved the way it ended, and the things it chose to be. I don't need a sequel (though I'm sure I'm in the minority) because I like open endings like this. You did a great job with the characters - I knew these people. But I have to admit - chpater 4 didn't grab me - not that it wasn't good smut - it was. But I just couldn't buy that Jim and Pam would have done that at that point, especially with Stanley there, so it felt OOC to me. So that's my two cents worth. And I'll be happy the rest of the day thinking about how they end up in New York.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review jazzfan! And the honesty, for sure. I guess in a way it was the hardest part of the story to come up with. Because I wanted something desperate enough, and humiliating enough, and dangerous enough for Jim to have even more fucked up things to deal with in the last chapter, basically. And I needed a really, really big reason for Pam to both avoid Jim and call it off with Roy. Not that getting groped by Jim Halpert was her motivation, but maybe it was like the worst possible wake up call for her? But, yeah, I agree. As I even said on the boards, I felt like it was a little much when I was writing it. I do love that you like the way I ended it, though. I haven't decided if that's where it stays for sure, but thanks for saying that. :)

love this. so cute =]

10

Yanana, this is your best story ever, I think. Your writing is crisp and fresh and descriptive. So many great details like the bits about Jim's biking to his mom's for dinner vs. driving in for a surprise weekend. The little details about coming close to running red lights and Jim's annoyance at the lady in the next car.

You've pegged his frustration and love for Pam perfectly. This is a gorgeous, gorgeous chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I really do love writing in first person for Jim, which is half the frustration in getting my other stories moving... because they are not that way. I think I'll probably stick with this method for a long time.

I could do the polite thing as a reviewer and say "It was perfect, blah blah, very poetic ending". But no! I'm going to be petulant and say "B-B-BUT....YOU CAN'T STOP!?! YOU JUST CAN'T!"

Well in all seriousness, it is a very classy place to leave it. And as for the rest of the story, you captured Jim's stream of conciousness perfectly. He would be embarrassed and angry and conflicted. I could feel my stomach just tightening in empathy for the guy.

There are two sections in particular I love:

I've worked hard by lunch time. Which is odd, because as much as I did not want to, I've thought about Pam more than I ever have in this sitting time. I've closed two sales. I'm pretty much up to date on most of my paperwork for this quarter which ends in a week, and I've tailored my resume for any branch that will take me. Oh, and I've imagined the kids that we could have but won't because, you know, she loves me but she's sorry.

And:

Maybe I'll be Highlighter Guy in Nashua. And that's all I'll do. Make some sales, highlight everything, go on a date and just be cool and happy and unaffected again.
....
It slips out onto the carpet. That photo does, the Christmas picture with Pam's perfect smile. I sigh, probably louder than I intend, and carefully pick it up off the floor. I didn't realize how old it's looking. I stained it at one point with a dying pen, I guess, because there's a big, blank stain that bleeds into the side of the picture. It touches neither of us.

Her eyes connect with mine through the picture. I know I should throw this away. No one is going to want to go out with the Highlighter Guy if he keeps this picture in his desk.

I know I've just copied and pasted like a third of your chapter but these parts are just so funny but in an unbelievably painful way and the tiny details you've introduced...wow..just wow.

*starts standing ovation*

Author's Response: Thank you for such a kind review! I haven't decided if it's done for sure, even if it says "complete" down there. We'll see. But I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. :)

10

Wait, what? No. Just no no no! There IS more, right? The 'completed: Yes' is a joke, yes? Epilogue? New York II? I'm, like, on my knees begging here!

For real, I did love this story and it ran the gamut, sending my heart up, down, sideways. From tears down my cheek, to wanting to rip-my-husbands-clothes-off-hot.

"Don't... Just, you know, as an aside? Don't write those kinds of things in a letter to me, okay? Don't stick those vague things in my desk." Mmmm Angry!Jim makes me smile!

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked! And, yes, Angry!Jim is greeeaaat.

10

Yanana, you know how I love your fluffy fluff, but this chap confirms that this is your best story yet.  Truly.  It left me breathless.  There are too many passages for me to quote.  I think you beautifully captured Jim's S2/S3 mindset--the gutwrenching sense of hopelessness, yet, at the same time, the immense hope that things will still work out.  Casting my vote for a sequel if you have it in you.  Do I need to start a petition?

Author's Response: Thank you for such a great review! We'll see if an epilogue comes out. I'm so glad that you enjoyed this story so much, it was so fun to write.

Wow!  What an incredible chapter!  I was literally on the edge of my computer chair reading this.

I think my favourite part was Jim cleaning out his desk.  The detailed description in that scene really made it fascinating to read.  The image of the Christmas picture falling out of his desk was the best:

I stained it at one point with a dying pen, I guess, because there's a big, blank stain that bleeds into the side of the picture. It touches neither of us.
 

This was an fantastic ending to a wonderful story.

This story has brought me out of reviewing hibernation!  I love the creative twist you have taken with Boys and Girls and the tension and heat you've given Jim and Pam.

I can't wait to read what Pam will write!

10

Really?? Wow and wow! Poor Jim and what is going through his mind? He's next again, right? God, this is amazing! I wow my brain is broke. I'm sorry I have nothing better to add. But you know what? There are some stories you read and are good and you go about your day, whatever... this is not that kind of story. No, you read it and it's all you think about until the next chapter is posted. I think... nope, this is my favorite of yours. Hands down.

Ok, I thought the LAST chapter was hot with just the kiss, for God's sake! This was....wow. Can't believe they did all that with Stanley in the room! lol. So, so hot.  I do wish she would just TELL him though that she has to dump Roy before she can really be with him.  After all they've just done you'd think she could just SAY that to him at least.  Can't wait to see what happens next!

Wow! Very hot. And, honestly? Unexpected. Both how far and quickly things progressed and that Stanley was in the room. Of course, I thought it was Roy at the door.

So, is Pam writing to Roy or Jim? I hope you post the next chapter soon!