8 [Report This]Date: February 01, 2007 08:11 pm Title: Chapter 1
Beautiful. Loved it all.
Author's Response: Thank you so much!
Date: November 06, 2006 11:03 pm Title: Chapter 1
You are really a beautiful writer.
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Brandy. That's a really beautiful thing to hear.
6 [Report This]Date: October 29, 2006 10:05 pm Title: Chapter 1
Good line: That perfect moment when her laughter was everything and the minutiae of their lives was enough.
Even better line: watched an old basketball game on ESPN Classics that he remembered seeing in high school. He liked knowing what the outcome would be.
Fucking GREAT l ine: Somewhere the phone was ringing.
Your swimming metaphor might have been beaten to death in a longer piece, but it is just the right touch for something this short.
Author's Response: Just a moody little Jim thing I had in my head. I actually rarely, if ever, use extended metaphors, but I liked the idea of it threading through here. Glad you liked it, thanks for reviewing.
6 [Report This]Date: October 29, 2006 10:04 pm Title: Chapter 1
Good line: That perfect moment when her laughter was everything and the minutiae of their lives was enough.
Even better line: watched an old basketball game on ESPN Classics that he remembered seeing in high school. He liked knowing what the outcome would be.
Fucking GREAT l ine: Somewhere the phone was ringing.
Your swimming metaphor might have been beaten to death in a longer piece, but it is just the right touch for something this short.
10 [Report This]Date: October 28, 2006 10:54 am Title: Chapter 1
“Sometimes when you want something badly enough, you see what you want to see," - I hope this line doesn't end up applying to Jim's situation...it would just make me so sad!
I enjoyed reading this (twice!). It's going in my favourites.
Author's Response: Thanks Luna Mystik! I hope that line isn't prophetic too...but I don't think it's going to be (though the writers might make us suffer for a while.) So glad this is a favorite - I'm flattered!
Date: October 26, 2006 03:54 pm Title: Chapter 1
Ok, making good on the promise to review on-site, not just at TWoP... LOVE how you took a different approach to The Call. And you also took advantage the opportunity to show the inner workings of Jim on a level we could never get from the show.
Yes, I am Katy -- rah!
Author's Response:
Better than Katy, because you have something intelligent to say!
Glad you liked this approach - I like thinking about what's in Jim's head...and in his....never mind. Seriously, I am drawn to Jim's soulful side. Thanks for making good on your promise - reviews are like sustenance, and follow-through is everything!
8 [Report This]Date: October 25, 2006 07:34 pm Title: Chapter 1
Wow! Just lovely.
Author's Response: Thanks, Semby. Glad you liked it.
10 [Report This]Date: October 25, 2006 03:38 pm Title: Chapter 1
This story was so unbelievably perfect and beautiful- and I'm a sucker for that kind of thing. I loved the poetry... the feeling I got from knowing what he was swimming towards- an illusion, a mirage of hope.
It was perfect. Just perfect.
Author's Response: Well, that's unbelievably nice of you to say. I'm a sucker for this kind of thing too. Mirage...that was the word I was looking for...may have to go back and edit it in...thanks!
Author's Response: Hi Spamster - just to clarify (thought I might have sounded flip earlier)...I'd been trying to think of the word 'mirage' all morning...it was maddeningly on the tip of my tongue and I finally gave up. SO, thanks so much - for both your very perceptive and lovely review, and for helping me out that way!
10 [Report This]Date: October 25, 2006 02:44 pm Title: Chapter 1
What a beautiful, beautiful peek into Jim's head - and heart - to see his thoughts and feelings and dreams. I didn't see this as ambivalent at all. I saw it as hopefully optimistic. But then again, as Jim's mom said, “Sometimes when you want something badly enough, you see what you want to see".
Author's Response: Hopefully optimistic. Yes...or at least, we'll see. Your mother always knows best (or so I tell my kids!) And what a beautiful head Jim has to peek into! I do dig him so.
10 [Report This]Date: October 25, 2006 02:28 pm Title: Chapter 1
The imagery in this is brilliant and gorgeous. I loved it.
Author's Response: Aw, thanks. Got a little carried away with the imagery, so I'm glad it wasn't too much.
10 [Report This]Date: October 25, 2006 02:27 pm Title: Chapter 1
wow, that was really well written! i loved the images of the ocean and the desert. i loved the ending :)
Author's Response: Thanks, janelle. Glad the images spoke to you.
10 [Report This]Date: October 25, 2006 02:03 pm Title: Chapter 1
Beautiful. Love getting inside Jim's head. Wonderful imagery.
Author's Response: Thanks! I'd love to be inside his head...his house...his...oh, I think you can figure out the rest (subtle, I'm not!)
10 [Report This]Date: October 25, 2006 02:01 pm Title: Chapter 1
This is beautiful. The prose ebbs and flows just like the water, which makes such a beautiful motif. You can feel him willing himself to be strong enough to keep swimming, bobbing up and down between false hope and too much caution. I meant it- all of your pieces are beautiful.
Author's Response: Wow, I'm so pleased you picked that up...the ebb and flow of his emotions. Precisely. Very perceptive! And how kind of you to be so complimentary!
10 [Report This]Date: October 25, 2006 01:58 pm Title: Chapter 1
Just lovely, Colette.
Author's Response: Thanks Elizabeth Lynn...lovely to hear!
10 [Report This]Date: October 25, 2006 01:35 pm Title: Chapter 1
beautiful!
Author's Response: Thank you! Glad you thought so.
10 [Report This]Date: October 25, 2006 01:29 pm Title: Chapter 1
It was your lovely summary that got me reading htis... especially "the phone call (that launched a thousand fanfics.)" Becasue it amused me. You did not disappoint! It was really really good. I love the part when he starts dreaming about her in places that they had never been together. Just brilliant! ;)
Author's Response:
Just tossed off the summary...you never know what's going to draw them in! Glad you weren't disappointed. Thanks so much!
10 [Report This]Date: October 25, 2006 01:28 pm Title: Chapter 1
I adore this new story. Your writing is always so full of imagery. You are very evocative in very few words. Sentences like "Alone in the dark, he could make the ache down low subside, at least for the moment; making the seasick feeling in his chest go away was futile." give me chills. I like how real Jim's despair and tentative hope feel. I really don't think it feels too dark or oppressive.
Author's Response: I'm glad the tentative hope came through as strongly as the despair...I think that's how he felt. Thanks so much, as usual, for the very specific review. So glad the imagery worked for you.
10 [Report This]Date: October 25, 2006 01:23 pm Title: Chapter 1
Stunning! Your writing has a lovely, lyrical quality. You're very talented.
"When the sea was rough, he’d watch the boats in the marina swaying in their moorings. They looked so tiny from high above, weightless, like one good wave could take them all out. At mid-morning they were silhouettes, the angle of the sun directly in his line of sight." I especially like how in so few words you're able to draw a crystal clear picture of the marina as seen through Jim's window.
I enjoyed contemplative Jim.
Author's Response: Oh, thank you! I love contemplative Jim too. I'm glad the picture read...a great thing to hear!
10 [Report This]Date: October 25, 2006 01:12 pm Title: Chapter 1
That's just right. It reminded me why I love Jim so much (and why Pam does too, once she gets with the program!)
Thanks!
Author's Response: She'd better get with that program...and make it snappy! So glad you liked it - thanks!
9 [Report This]Date: October 25, 2006 01:09 pm Title: Chapter 1
If later wasn’t an oasis that no amount of desperation could conjure.
If I could give you a Major Award for that line, I would.
And also for your final paragraph - fantastic.
Author's Response:
Thanks so much, nomadshan. This was a sad one to write, so I'm glad it has some resonance. And I'm a sucker for awards!
9 [Report This]Date: October 25, 2006 01:07 pm Title: Chapter 1
So moving and so real, because I think we've all been there at one point in our lives.
The wanderer in his head told him to be cautious. The ache in his heart said please. - This part just took my breath away.
Thank you for taking me to another world for a couple minutes.
Author's Response: My pleasure. And thank you for the thoughtful review. We certainly have all been there.
10 [Report This]Date: October 25, 2006 01:01 pm Title: Chapter 1
Hope, pain, you've got it all. I could quote back the brilliant lines to you but it might take too long. I'll just say this captures Jim for me "The wanderer in his head told him to be cautious. The ache in his heart said please." Wonderful job as always Colette!
Author's Response: Yay! So glad you thought so! Love me some melancholy, yearning Jim...does it show? Thanks, as usual, for your speedy and lovely review!
10 [Report This]Date: October 25, 2006 01:01 pm Title: Chapter 1
The shore had moved incrementally closer, but she still had to choose to wade out to meet him.
OMG. That's just...tears...the screen's blurry now as I type.
I need to admit that before that I was going "Ewww. Please Jim. Don't go swimming in the LI Sound." All I could see is my childhood and those nasty sand bugs that used to torture me as I sat on the "beach." Not to mention the water. LOL!
So, so glad you posted this. Selfishly, it's actually going to help me finish next chapter. So double yay!
Author's Response:
Don't cry! I think it's all going to work out (seriously.)
And, I hear you about the Sound - definitely took some liberties there, but he is only imagining swimming in it! I too grew up going to the LI beaches, so I feel your pain.
Anyway, glad if it helps you...cause I NEED that next chapter.
10 [Report This]Date: October 25, 2006 01:00 pm Title: Chapter 1
Wow. I just have to say - you know I'm a huge fan of all your stuff - but this one has got to be my favorite. I think i'm always telling you that your prose reads like poetry, and this is no exception. It's simply beautiful. I actually got frustrated, because I'd copy a segment to quote as my favorite in the review, and then I'd get to another one that was even better than the last. I settled on this one: Seeing, he’d learned the hard way, is not always the same as believing. At least not when it takes two to believe.
Just makes me ache. And I really think this is quite true to what life is like for him - and what it was like when he had to go home after that phone call. You articulate here (and beautifully, as always) the tension of all the things left unsaid in that conversation that they had. I kept watching the scene thinking, "If I were either of them, all I'd be thinking right now is, the last time we talked, you kissed me...."
Guh. THis was phenomenal. Just phenomenal.
Author's Response:
I'm really glad it struck a chord. I just kept reading comments about how he was happy, sad, hurt, thrilled...andn thinking - he's ALL of that. I think he's unsettled, still melancholy, but nervously, cautiously hopeful too. Just a tiny, fragile bit.
Anyway, I'm glad it wasn't too angsty - I hesitated to post it because the prevailing mood seemed to be happier and this is ambiguous. So glad you enjoyed it. And thanks, ALWAYS, for your phenomenal review!