Date: December 26, 2009 01:36 am Title: Coconut Oil
that was such a sweet chapter, albeit short. nice job with this story and i love the last line. it was so romantic to have her parents to come to the wedding, great idea. and i loved the orange dress and last line in this chapter about the pina coladas.
Date: December 26, 2009 01:21 am Title: Diamond
i love the 'um linen pants and a white shirt' line. that's what i was imagining jim wearing to the wedding!
also, great job ending the chapter with 'it doesn't even cross her mind to get cold feet' - that was beautiful.
okay, seriously, i always tell people i don't have time to read AND review, so i'll just read. then i don't. because i feel like i'm being mean. so sorry...
8 [Report This]Date: December 26, 2009 01:16 am Title: Salt
My favorite funny lines...
"She likes the taste of his beer mingling with her margarita." I was laughing so much at this one at first. then a minute later I was like, Wait why was that funny. The things you do at 1:15 in the morning...
"No Joking With The Bride The Day Before The Ceremony, Under Penalty Of Death." that was funny at first, too. then i didn't understand what I was thinking at first... again.
The best BY FAR: "Come on, loser. I'll protect you from the dinosaurs." you gotta admit, that one's just great.
Alright, that was my substitute for a review. hope you liked it.
I think i'll just read the rest of the story and not review for the rest of it. sorry. i'm forgetting to capitalize things. must be getting tired. still want to read. the choices. one. must. make. in. life...
10 [Report This]Date: December 25, 2009 03:39 pm Title: Island
oh my god - that was so sweet with the gazebo. great description!
10 [Report This]Date: December 25, 2009 03:34 pm Title: Sand
Oh my god this is adorable and perfect in every possible way. I can't believe you wrote SIX WHOLE CHAPTERS just for me! Lol, great story idea!
10 [Report This]Date: January 22, 2009 06:41 am Title: Sand
Can you hear the squee?
Date: January 20, 2007 03:41 pm Title: Coconut Oil
HOT!
Not much more to say ::sigh:: Loved this.
Author's Response: Thanks, Lovefool!
Date: January 20, 2007 05:29 am Title: Coconut Oil
This was delicious from beginning to end. Like a lovely tropical vacation from the freezing cold. Thanks so much for writing it!
Author's Response: Thanks!
Date: January 19, 2007 06:12 pm Title: Be In Love And You Will Be Happy
How sweet that Jim secretly invited her parents! Nice touch. And I loved the link to the dress - very summery and pretty. (so glad that it's available in size 00. j/k.)
Author's Response: Thanks, kaystar!
Date: January 19, 2007 05:55 pm Title: Coconut Oil
Ooooh, nice ending, PaperJam! "I'm not done yet." That line gives me goosebumps!
Author's Response: Thanks for reading!
Date: January 19, 2007 01:48 pm Title: Coconut Oil
Phew! (fans self...) What a sunny, happy antidote to dark, cold winter and husbands who work late... Thanks for taking me back to my honeymoon. Lovely!
Author's Response: Happy to help! Hee!
Date: January 19, 2007 12:51 pm Title: Coconut Oil
Whoa! Coconut oil! Golden tanned forearms! Jim's sexy purring voice! You really pulled out all the stops on this one. I cannot thank you enough. And I adore that last line, about how pina coladas will turn her on for the rest of her life. Yay!
Thanks for a wonderful story. Really needed that tropical interlude!
Author's Response: Well, I have you to thank for Coconut Oil! Good call.
Date: January 19, 2007 12:47 pm Title: Be In Love And You Will Be Happy
Can I get you anything? Hairspray? Peeled grapes? I could totally see Jim saying this.
Maybe Jim will have private signals with their own daughter. The thought makes her stomach flutter happily. Flutter. Yeah. Bet it would. (grin)
She even fakes a yawn, but her cover story fools no one. Not sure why a bride would think she even needs a cover story on her wedding night. This was the only slightly false note in this, it sounds like a much younger Pam here.
I love that you always give me something to untie. It's like unwrapping a present every day. Ooh! I love Jim saying this. Soooo erotic.
He's all hers and wearing nothing but a gold wedding ring. And a smile. Don't forget that smile. Great line.
Looking forward to coconut oil....
Author's Response: Hmm, I guess I was going for a way for her to preserve her dignity in front of her parents. Thanks for reviewing!
Date: January 19, 2007 07:47 am Title: Coconut Oil
I fear a concussion from my head hitting the desk. Oh my.
It's still January, right? Just checking. This was a lovely little imaginary vacation. Wish I was there... Jamaica me crazy and all that...
Author's Response: Thanks for reading, lisahoo!
Date: January 19, 2007 06:20 am Title: Sand
Are you sure you can't squeeze in another epilogue to the epilogue, Paper Jam? Or perhaps some more detail of the rest of the time they were there? I mean, it was a looonnng time and I sure there were other episodes of coconut oil rubbing and moonlight nude bathing, etc... J/K! Lovely as is. Now enjoy that vacation!
Author's Response:
Believe me, I would if I could, but I'm going to be away from my computer for two weeks. However, I'll be in the Caribbean for that time, so maybe I will get inspired for a few epilogues. You never know. Thanks, Par5!
Date: January 19, 2007 06:06 am Title: Coconut Oil
I can positively smell the coconut oil. Very sensual and just plain old delicious. (In fact, I did a story - A Few Things... - here a while ago, with a brief part about Jim rubbing coconut lotion on her on a tropical beach, and it's been a favorite image ever since.) Just a perfect, subtly sexy way to end this idyllic story. Ah well, all good things must come to an end, I suppose...
Author's Response: Thanks for all your support Colette! I will have to go read your story. It sounds like fun!
10 [Report This]Date: January 19, 2007 05:55 am Title: Coconut Oil
Yum.
There is nothing else to say but Yum!
And have a great (and safe!!) trip - we'll miss you!
Author's Response: You're so sweet, moxie! Thanks!
Date: January 19, 2007 05:36 am Title: Coconut Oil
yay! thanks you! I so wasnt ready to part with it yet
have a safe flight!!
Author's Response:
Thanks!
Date: January 18, 2007 10:15 pm Title: Be In Love And You Will Be Happy
Loved it! Again...just something about this setting and the intimacy of a wedding like this for them was so very romantic. And the way you describe his eyes at sunset...::sigh::: Thank you for writing this!
Author's Response: You're very welcome! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Date: January 18, 2007 08:36 pm Title: Be In Love And You Will Be Happy
Awww! Jim getting her parents to come! And being all worried about his wrinkly pants! So sweet.
Author's Response: Thanks, Semby!
9 [Report This]Date: January 18, 2007 08:00 pm Title: Sand
Okay, I'm just now getting time to read this, and...I bow before you, the master of subtle details! The white trail her finger leaves on his arm? The cracking elbow? Seriously?
I think it's the attention to subtle, seemingly unimportant details that really makes a fic.
And the premise here - wow! You've got their voices down, their chemistry -- love it that Jim is in her top three. Sigh.
I'm an idiot for not putting real life on hold and reading this sooner. :o) Terrific work!
Author's Response: Wow, thank you for the amazingly kind words, girl7! I hope you noticed that there are more chapters, though. I wouldn't want you to think I left you hanging!
Date: January 18, 2007 07:33 pm Title: Be In Love And You Will Be Happy
Wow...that was just...amazing.
Author's Response: Thanks!
9 [Report This]Date: January 18, 2007 03:21 pm Title: Be In Love And You Will Be Happy
Epilouge! Epilouge! (come on people!) Epilouge! Epilouge!
yaaay! lovely job, please take a bow
Author's Response: *Bows*
Date: January 18, 2007 12:46 pm Title: Be In Love And You Will Be Happy
That was so romantic, funny, and sexy. I am not sure what to say except it was just very very good!
"I've got a hot date with my wife. She doesn't like it when I keep her waiting."
The word wife is such a pleasant shock that she forgets to breathe for a minute.
Awe!
Author's Response: Thank you, as always, MA, for the kind words!
8 [Report This]Date: January 18, 2007 10:24 am Title: Be In Love And You Will Be Happy
He's all hers and wearing nothing but a gold wedding ring.
Aaaaaand THAT will keep me warm for the rest of the day, even in an ice storm. Thanks!
Author's Response: Thank you!