Date: April 20, 2007 01:28 pm Title: Chapter 1
Great job Dao! This is an awesome story, I didnt know what to expect in this story ,but it is awesome!
Date: April 19, 2007 05:36 pm Title: Chapter 1
OMG! Man, I was NOT expecting THAT. But it's believeable. I can't wait to hear exactly what's been going on with Jim for the last three years...
One small nitpick -- if the child is supposed to be Jim's, you might want to watch how complex her speech is. I have a three-year-old, that's why her language stuck out to me as a little advanced. (And what would Jim's daughter be by now -- two-and-a-half?) But it's just an observation, and my kid could be exceptionally slow, speech-wise. Don't mind me!
You've got me hooked. (And I LOVE long chapters!) More, please!
Author's Response: Thanks for the constructive criticism, lapdog. I hadn't thought about the complexity of her speech, but lets just say in my mind Jim's daughter is at least as old as you assume she is, maybe older. So at that age, I believe she could say what I have her saying. Thanks for your input though.
10 [Report This]Date: April 18, 2007 06:27 pm Title: Chapter 1
I seriously said to myself, "Oh eff no!" Except you know, I didn't use the word eff. -covers mouth and blushes-
Great story. Anxious for more.
Date: April 18, 2007 05:03 pm Title: Chapter 1
whoa. didn't see that coming. eager to see what happens next.
Date: April 18, 2007 02:11 pm Title: Chapter 1
Interesting. Can I assume Jim's divorced? (I hope, I hope, I hope?)
I'm interested to see what happens next.
Can you control the size of the font, though? Those letters are really teeny (unlike in other stories), and I had to go get my drugstore-special 1.25X magnifier glasses to read it. And found that I wish I had gotten the 2X magnifier glasses! So, for those of us with old eyes, if you can make that font bigger, please do. Thanks.
Author's Response: Is Jim divorced? Only time will tell. Yeah, sorry about the font. I don't know how to fix it either. Oh well. I'll make chapter 2 a bigger font.
Date: April 18, 2007 01:33 pm Title: Chapter 1
Wow, Daoust! It's a GREAT story and it's breaking my heart. Keep it up by!
Author's Response: Thanks, alot! Sorry about the small font. I can't fix it either for some reason. Chapter two is done, I'm just waiting to see how Ch. 1 is received.
Date: April 18, 2007 12:51 pm Title: Chapter 1
Duuuuuude.
Did not see that coming.
I love the angst factor that you've presented here and I cannot wait so see what else you've got up your sleeve.
Thanks so much.
cheers.
--Lex
Author's Response: Thanks for your kind words. This is my first attempt at fanfic, so hopefully it is generally well received.
Date: April 18, 2007 10:48 am Title: Chapter 1
First of all, aww poor Creed!
Secondly, yikes! I did not see that coming. Somehow while reading that Jim was so glad she wasn't married, I didn't even think maybe he is?
Author's Response: Hey thanks! I'm glad it fooled you! That means it worked! Hope you stay tuned for the next installment!
Date: April 18, 2007 10:29 am Title: Chapter 1
Keep it coming . . .
Author's Response: TWSS!
Date: April 18, 2007 10:23 am Title: Chapter 1
this is really interesting, I am firmly in the camp that the only way JAM gets over one another 100% is that they're dead. Love always lingers, and should they be thrown in one anothers path again, both single, who knows what could happen :)