ACT ONE

INT. Nondescript Hallway

MICHAEL is sitting on a bench in a nondescript hallway, looking nervous. He glances around anxiously, fiddles with his suit, and brushes imaginary pieces of lint off of it. After a couple of moments he looks at the camera and addresses it.

MICHAEL

(anxiety evident in his voice)

It’s a big day.

(exhales loudly)

Big Monday.

(looks around nervously for a moment before he continues)

 Karen is coming to the branch today for the review thing….

(pauses momentarily to look around again and then continues somewhat absent-mindedly)

….but it’ll be fine [beat] she’ll probably just yell at Jim or break his windshield or something.

Suddenly, something catches his eye, and MICHAEL stands up from the bench and smiles at the camera as he begins to walk down the hallway. The camera swings around to reveal that the hallway is in a courthouse, specifically in New York City. MICHAEL is there for the beginning of RYAN’s trial.

MICHAEL (cont.)

(turns back to the camera while continuing to walk)

I’m sure he’ll be fine.

CUT TO:

JIM is standing in front of the closed door to MICHAEL’s Office, holding a note in his hand that is still taped to the door itself. His shoulders are slumped and he sighs loudly as he pulls the note off the door and crumples it up. He turns around to face his desk, and throws the piece of paper in the trashcan. As he does so, he catches DWIGHT’s eye, who is sitting at his desk looking smug.

DWIGHT

You’d better be ready.

JIM

(sits down at his desk)

For what, Dwight?

DWIGHT

Karen. Women never forget when you’ve crossed them.

At DWIGHT’s words, JIM looks at the camera and then turns in his chair a little to look at MICHAEL’s door, before he turns back to look at DWIGHT.

JIM

(calmly)

You knew about this, didn’t you?

As soon as JIM finishes, DWIGHT reaches down below his desk, which is out of view of the camera, and pulls out a large stack of papers, folders, and memo books. As he does so, JIM alternates between looking at the camera, and DWIGHT.

DWIGHT

(after finishing putting everything on his desk)

Of course I did Jim. I’m always prepared. All I have left are personnel evaluations.

JIM

Personnel evaluations?

DWIGHT

Karen is going to want to know who to fire. I would have done these sooner [beat] but Michael only called me half an hour before work.

JIM

Right. [beat] I think she’s only going to want to meet with Michael and I, or, well, me now, I guess.

DWIGHT

(shaking his head)

No, Jim. I am Michael’s representative, he appointed me himself.

(stands up)

She’ll be here at two. Be ready.

(grabs a healthy portion of the stack of things on his desk, and then looks at JIM seriously)

I already have the ice cream.

Without another word or gesture, DWIGHT grabs the top folder off his stack, turns, and walks out of frame. The camera lingers on JIM confusedly watching him.

CUT TO:

ANGELA, KEVIN, and OSCAR are sitting at their desks quietly working. After a moment however, KEVIN stops and looks through the partition at ANGELA.

ANGELA

(without looking up)

What Kevin?

KEVIN

(suggestively)

What do you think Karen is going to do when she gets here?

ANGELA

(still not looking up)

Her job.

KEVIN

Mmmmmmm, what if she wants Jim back?

ANGELA

(now looks up at KEVIN, with great annoyance)

Why would she want that?

KEVIN

(thinking)

Uhhhh….

OSCAR

(interrupting)

I don’t know, Jim’s a nice guy?

ANGELA and KEVIN both stare at OSCAR, obviously reading more into his remark than he intended. KEVIN giggles to himself, while ANGELA sighs disapprovingly.

ANGELA
I’m sure that Karen will be [beat] professional. The office is no place for romance.

There is a momentary pause as OSCAR and KEVIN now look at each other is confusion.

OSCAR

(hesitantly)

Aren’t you marrying Andy?

ANGELA

(shuffling some papers, and said matter-of-factly)

That is a marriage, not a romance. And I don’t want to talk about it.

ANGELA’s curtness ends the discussion between the Accountants, but not before the camera catches another exchanged look between OSCAR and KEVIN.

CUT TO:

The camera focuses on the cluster of ANDY, PHYLLIS, and STANLEY’s desks. Much like the Accountants before, they are all silently working, with the exception of ANDY, who seems more concerned with looking at his tie.

ANDY

Phyllis, you’re a woman, what do you think of this tie?

(holds tie out to PHYLLIS)

PHYLLIS

Um, it’s nice Andy.

(attempts a reassuring smile)

ANDY

(looks down at tie undecidedly)

Hmm, I don’t know. I spilled Wasabi on it last night.

(dabs at the invisible stain on his tie with the end of his tie)

PHYLLIS

(confused)

Why did you wear the tie you wore last night again today?

ANDY

(smiles)

I’m trying to make a good impression with Karen. She told me one time that she liked it. (turns to STANLEY)

Stanley, what do you think?

The camera shifts slightly so that both ANDY and STANLEY are in the frame looking at one another. ANDY is holding a smile and his tie out for inspection, while STANLEY is looking at him without an emotion at all. This goes on for a second or two.

STANLEY

I think you should stay away from Karen so she doesn’t close the branch down.

After he responds to ANDY, STANLEY goes back to his work. ANDY continues to stare at him a little bit longer but then turns back to his computer, and looks down at his tie despondently. The camera then zooms in on him slightly.

ANDY TALKING HEAD [Conference Room]

I’m doing this for Tuna. I know what Karen is like after a break up.

(give a pointed look at the camera)

When we went out [beat] to dinner once, she didn’t talk to me for a week after.

(thinks to himself for a moment)

I figured she’d like the Olive Garden, I mean [beat] Filippelli right? And I guess [beat] well no it was mutual…

(nods to himself)

So yeah [beat] I’m doing this for Tuna.

CUT TO:

HOLLY is sitting at her desk quietly doing paperwork. The camera lingers on her for a moment to establish the scene, and then the door to the Annex is heard to open. The camera pans over to see that JIM is walking through the doorway.

HOLLY

(turning around)

Hey Jim.

JIM

(smiles)

Hey Holly.

HOLLY

Is there something I can help you with?

JIM

Um, no, I was just wondering if I could maybe….

JIM stops in mid sentence. After a moment, he takes a couple of steps away from HOLLY’s desk, and around the divider, which separates it from KELLY’s. He begins talking as he walks back to his original spot.

JIM

Oh, Kelly isn’t here today?

HOLLY
No, she called in sick. She said she had, um, [beat] well, she coughed a lot.

(smiling)

JIM
(sighing while putting his hands in his pockets)

Yeah. I think I know where she is.

CUT TO:

The camera is focused, from across the hall, on the Women’s Bathroom door. After a moment, KELLY comes out of it. Surprisingly, she is not wearing a tracksuit or anything pink, but rather a professional looking woman’s business suit. It is obvious that her hair and makeup have also been done with great care. However, as she walks back into the hallway she doesn’t see the camera for the first couple of seconds, during which she adjusts her suit, indicating that she is obviously uncomfortable and unfamiliar with it.

As soon as she does spot the camera, she immediately stops her adjustments with her suit.

KELLY TALKING HEAD [Hallway of Courthouse]

(with no shame)

Oh, yeah I totally called in sick. Whatever, I mean I could have taken a vacation day…

(looks at camera for a moment with a flicker of realization that she’s been found lying, but it soon passes)

….but I’m saving those for my trip with Darryl [beat] my boyfriend.

(smiles)

But, I thought I’d come for the first day of the trial so Ryan could see…

(looks down at her suit)

…that I’m so over him, and a professional business woman now and everything.

(nods to herself, and smiles to the camera)

CUT TO:

A short amount of time has elapsed from the last scene, and JIM is now sitting in a chair near HOLLY’s desk. They are talking to one another and smiling. Their fun is quickly quashed when the door to the Annex is heard to open again. They both turn to look, as the camera pans over to follow their gaze, and both see that DWIGHT is now standing in the doorway.

DWIGHT

(loudly)

Are you making a complaint against me?

HOLLY

N—

JIM

(interrupting)

That’s confidential, Dwight.

DWIGHT

(staring hard at both of them)

Redact it. Nobody has ever made a complaint against me.

JIM

(quickly and casually)

There’s no way that’s true.

DWIGHT

Holly?

Inexperienced in the antagonisms between JIM and DWIGHT, HOLLY looks back and forth between the two of them slightly overwhelmed. However, he gaze comes to rest on JIM, who nods slightly. She then turns to DWIGHT.

HOLLY

That’s confidential, Dwight.

DWIGHT

It—

(stops himself and then changes his tone to something softer)

---fine. Jim, I need you to leave, I’m doing Holly’s personnel evaluation now.

HOLLY

(confused)

What personnel evaluation?

JIM

(re-assuring)

It’s nothing, you don’t have to do it.

DWIGHT

Uh, yeah she does, Jim. Holly is new here, and she might need to be fired.

JIM

She’s not going to be fired, Dwight.

DWIGHT

Do you have a personnel evaluation to back that up for Karen?

JIM

No, but—

DWIGHT

(interrupting)

Well I will.

(holds up paper in his hand to show JIM)

Unless she deserves to be fired [beat] and then I won’t.

JIM

Dwight—

HOLLY

(interrupting)

No, it’s okay, Jim.

JIM looks back over at HOLLY, as if to tell her that it’s not necessary, but she just smiles assuredly back at him.

HOLLY (cont.)

Really, it’s fine.

HOLLY TALKING HEAD [Conference Room]

I think that Dunder-Mifflin is kind of like a sorority and I’m the new girl…. 

(nods to herself reassured)

When I was in college I pledged one, and uh, I didn’t [beat] I mean, I didn’t get in. I accidentally lit the kitchen on fire [beat] but, this is different, because I need this job, and I didn’t need that sorority, or to be [beat] popular.

DWIGHT TALKING HEAD [Conference Room]

What do we really know about Holly Flax? 

(gives camera a questioning glance)

An outside hire. Almost forty and never been married or had kids. Just moved into town.

(leans back in his chair a little)

Is she a transient lesbian con artist? 

(shrugs his shoulders)

We don’t know.

CUT BACK TO:

HOLLY is sitting at her desk as she was before with JIM, but now DWIGHT has taken his chair. DWIGHT has a large number of papers in his lap, along with folders, pens, and a clipboard. They sit in silence for two to three seconds.

DWIGHT

(seriously)

Holly, as you know, Karen Filippelli, the new Corporate Manager, is coming to the branch today.

HOLLY

Yes, I know Dwight.

DWIGHT

And it’s important for all of us to be prepared [beat] by identifying the weakest amongst us.

HOLLY

(confused)

I don’t understand.

DWIGHT

(makes a mark in his notebook before continuing)

In the wild when a predator attacks a herd, the weakest is sacrificed for the good of the group. That’s why I’m doing personnel evaluations on everyone in the branch.

HOLLY

Oh. [beat] Like in Star Trek?

At HOLLY’s reference, DWIGHT’s momentum stops suddenly and he gives her a look of surprise.

DWIGHT

What?

HOLLY

(seriously)

The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Wrath of Khan.

The tables have now completely turned, and DWIGHT is staring wide-eyed at HOLLY. This goes on for a moment, during which HOLLY looks at him curiously and encouragingly to begin talking again. He then does, but not before he blinks rapidly a couple of times, and then coughs a little too loudly.

DWIGHT

Yes. Um,

(makes a mark on his sheet, again)

exactly.

HOLLY

(nodding)

I understand then.

DWIGHT

(casually)

Do you [beat] watch a lot of science fiction?

HOLLY

(slightly bashfully)

Oh no.

(smiles)

Just, um, you know Star Wars, Star Trek [beat] Battlestar Galactica.

DWIGHT

(startled)

I didn’t realize women watched Battlestar Galactica.

HOLLY

(laughs a little, while DWIGHT doesn’t)

Oh, well some of us do, I guess.

(nods)

DWIGHT

(nodding as well)

Yes [beat] well I think we’re done here.

(stands up suddenly)

I knew it was going to be Kevin anyway.

Without further comment, DWIGHT walks away from HOLLY, and leaves frame. The camera stays on HOLLY who is watching DWIGHT leave the Annex, with a small smile on her face. The camera zooms in slightly on her.

HOLLY TALKING HEAD [Conference Room]

That [beat] was actually easier then I thought it was going to be.

(smiles to herself and then casts a glace off-camera at the door for a moment)

Michael told me at lunch a couple of days ago that Dwight really likes science fiction and that show. So [beat] well, I actually do like that sort of stuff too, kind of…

(looks down at the floor embarrassed)

….but some people don’t, and uh, I don’t want them to know.

DWIGHT TALKING HEAD [Conference Room]

Holly Flax is not the limping gazelle of the branch.

(stops himself for a moment, and hesitatingly continues)

I think some people may have, possibly, misjudged her.

(continues now thoughtfully)

And if she is a lesbian? [beat] Then Phyllis can introduce her to one of her friends or sisters.

(gives the camera a knowing glance)

Because I have seen them, [beat] and they probably are.

END OF ACT ONE