"My daughter, the birth of my daughter, gave me life." - Johnny Depp. (And a bit of grief mixed in as well.) Cecelia Halpert, through her father's eyes.This is very sweet. It would be a good memory to share on such a sad day.
I'm really enjoying this, ivy! I think you're doing a fine job of creating both a believable relationship and handling Cece's maturing. I think you can continue till she's about 35!
Oh, poor Jim. Cracks me up that you managed to slip in a Vespa dig in here.
I love it! Sweet sixteen coming up...
How'd I miss this one? Very good job! I like the way Daddy Bear isn't going to leave Cece. Gotta love Protective!Jim.
Well done! I'm sorry that there's only one chapter left, ivy. You've done such a good job on these characterizations.
I just loved this line:
Being an adult is so much more than just turning 18. Trust me, you will not be an adult in six months. You won’t be an adult in six years.
I loved it all! I'm looking forward to whatever you come up with next.
Ah, this was splendid before and now it's even better! I love it. Like I said, you took my breath away once Pam and Jim got home.
Author's Response: Argh, you improved this a gazillion percent, as usual. Thanks so much for every red mark. I appreciate your keen eye and your ruler. Glad you liked it.
Callisto, this is just delicious! I am so looking forward to what Jim discovers in his box. And I'm wondering if Pam will find out about his snooping and how that will go.
As always, your writing is just pitch perfect. I love how you have Jim comparing himself unfavorably with his grandfather's bravery. That seems so in character to me.
You are doing such a great job of keeping their responses to this situation and to each other in character. I can just see Jim preparing a dinner like this the night before the surgery. Your phrasing is very good throughout. I'm really hoping you have Jim pull through this but I think you'd handle it very well if you choose otherwise, too.
Been putting off reading this. Just didn't know if I'd want to read about JIM's having a tumor, you know? But it really is lovely; I can't quite explain but I like the TONE of it. I think Jim's actions – surreptitiously trying to make all of the "contingency plans" – is very much in character. He'd want to protect Pam from thinking about those details. The one thing that takes me out of the story is that there are misspellings throughout. Things like "graded cheese" that should be "grated cheese." Cece's "onsie" that should be a "onesie." If you'd like to have a second pair of eyes look for these things, send me a PM over on the message boards. Sorry that this is all running together as a single paragraph. I've been using Chrome lately and the interface does weird things to the editor.
Wow. That was very interesting. I like your Sasha a lot. She's a very well rounded character. Somehow I missed the other part of this series. I'll have to go back now and read it!
Author's Response: Thank you so much. I like writing Sasha. Yes, please do read the other fics, it'll put this one much more in context. I hope you enjoy those as well.
He wakes up with a jackhammer in his head, cotton in his mouth and a swirling vortex of something awful in his stomach. Set just after "Diwali."Here's hoping you're just busy and not fighting the dreaded block! I can't wait to read the next chapter...
Oh, I've missed your writing! This is just gorgeous. I can't wait for the next chapter!
Wow wow wow!!! Now THAT was a distinctly delicious twist! I love Jim's internal monologue as he contemplates having slept with Karen.
The phrasing in this chapter is just perfect. I especially loved these:
The scattered pieces of the puzzle that was the previous evening begin to form a picture that is distinct and decidedly not family friendly.
When he sleeps with someone, he usually means it. Or at the very least he remembers it.
...he feels a little rush of victory when he makes her laugh.
I'll be checking often for updates!
Author's Response: Such kind comments, VB! Thank you! It's so great having some of your favorite lines quoted back to you. :-) Don't worry, you won't have to wait long for the next update. Thanks for the review!
Ooh, this just gets wonderfuller and wonderfuller! I love how tentative and ambivalent this Pam is. That Jim can't help but let his annoyance show through. The dance you have them doing is deliciously in character. I'm hoping you have LOTS of chapters planned!
He thinks back to the night before. Their first night together, and despite a few glasses of wine with dinner he remembers everything. Well…obviously that, but the little details too.
Welcome back! I'm so glad to see you're back in the saddle. Here's hoping you stay inspired!
Well, that certainly was a surprising twist! Poor Jim.
4 I like the fact that you came up with a scenario in which the breakage is really A-OK! I'll be interested to see the remaining two...
Oh, I think it was very special! I'm really sorry to hear about your concussion and month-long headache. I hope you recover fully and soon!
Welcome back.
The first time she does it, it’s simply to answer a question: how quickly can she pack the essentials and make it out to the car? She doesn’t know exactly why she wonders; something, surely, related to a friend having to pack an overnight bag during a pregnancy or an episode of Oprah or something.I enjoyed this story. Very nicely detailed and fluid prose. It has a definite momentum to it which builds as you go through Pam's packing episodes. Well done!
Author's Response: Thank you so much!
Oh, I ABSOLUTELY agree that this story is quietly but persistently demanding to be continued! This is really lovely, ivy, and somehow has a very different feel than all the other first date fics I've read. I'm really, REALLY looking forward to reading about the rest of the evening.
ivy, just re-read again and I just wanted to say again how much I love some of the lyrical passages in here. The writing is so smooth!
This is going to be a LONG date, right?
_____
He can't help but think that he would never make her walk on a boardwalk if she didn't want to. He thinks he would carry her if that's what she needed, and then he thinks that she completely owns him, and holy God, this better work this time, because he really doesn't think his heart can take another beating.
_____
Yes, he says with tremendous dignity, and takes a defiant bite from a roasted tomato as sort of punctuation. It's almost like sex -- sweet and pungent, and it bursts softly in his mouth, some of the juice slipping messily down his chin unexpectedly.
____
"The turtle," she says, narrowing her eyes to show that he is in no way off the hook about this, "what's his name?"
"Pam," he sighs, and she likes the way her name sounds when he says it, "his name is Turtle."
Author's Response: Long, yes, hopefully! So glad you're liking it!
Ooh! I love the open-ended quality of the ending. This has been an absolutely delightful ride, ivy. Never too heavy, not too fluffy, perfectly believable dialogue and details, and terrifically descriptive and well-phrased text throughout. This has been such a treat to read. Thank you for sharing with us all.
And what a bonus! The last chapter of this fic and the first of your next one posted on the same night.
Oh, Ivy, so, SO many great things in this chapter I hardly know where to start. Yes, I do.
She shakes her head and then he knows, and he’s there too, and her dress is blue, and her cheeks are pink, and she is weightless and happy until he hands her the heavy stone of his heart to carry.
That is just gorgeous phrasing. The lilt and rhythm of it are so light and then thud ... it drops with the heavy stone of his heart. Did you craft it on purpose that way – bouncy/liliting then thud – or was that serendipity?
What had she said that night? Taking him all in? She has. He belongs to her. She has consumed him. He is Jonah and she is the whale.
So, here I was, bracing myself for the dreaded she was everything. (One of my personal pet peeves. I think it's lazy and I hate it.) But no, you come up with the Biblical Jonah. Love it!
What a great little prank they're playing on Dwight. Somehow, I like it better that they haven't even worked out all the details. And the image of Jim smiling sheepishly as Pam compimented him on how good he looks in Cherries in the Snow was awfully cute.
The only thing that I found jarring in the chapter wasn't in terms of writing style but with continuity with the show. Jim says he called Jan and had the job offer that night. But he was speaking to her in person in the parking lot, so why would he have phoned her? I read the chapter several times and that caught my attention every time.
Oh, and another thing I keep forgetting to mention. I like your choice to present the chapters in kind of an episodic manner rather than showing us EVERYTHING in the date. You allow yourself to get straight to the "good parts" and don't have to worry about a lot of filler.
So, other than my one little, anal complaint ... Pure perfection! This is definitely the best first date fic ever!