Ideas for Cold Openings (the pre-title gags) always pop into my head. So these will be just a bunch of teasers that, hopefully, you will find funny. I don't know how many I will post but I'll keep putting them up as they occur to me.
You must be the funnest guy ever to work with.
Author's Response: Wow. You obviously don\'t work with me. : ) Actually, we have a few laughs here. That\'s a nice thing to say, thank you!
You. Fucking. Rock.
This almost made me pee. That, my friend, tops "Gaffaw."
I'm still laughing.
Author's Response: lol... you\'re the best.
10 So, yup, still laughing.
Author's Response: lol... peeing, too? ; )
10 Dude , if I were you, I'd fly out to LA, find Greg Daniels on the picket line and ask him for a job. You are really, seriously talented.
Author's Response: WOW. Thanks Shass! Not sure how receptive he would be right now...lol... That means a lot for you to say that. God, I wish. I would love nothing more than to write for this show. Well. I\'ve taken some steps in that direction... geting myself out there. I keep hoping... Thank you, Shass. You\'re the best...
10 Oh, Jesus, I've got tears coming out of my eyes. I can't wear mascara and read this shit. *Sigh.* It is a crime that you do not yet do this for a living.
Author's Response: Oh, thank you, Shass. Again, I wish. Between your fiction and your comments about mine, you make my day!
10 Aaw...You're such a big softie...
Author's Response: Hey Shass! Yeah, I am...lol... I gotta catch up on your story... you'll be hearing from me about it... : ) Thanks!
10 ...aaaand you continue to be pitch-perfect! Missed you around here...Hope things are good.
Author's Response: Hey, Shass! Missed you too... things are settling. Hope to be around here more often. thanks again!
Michael watched Pam through the blinds. She was so lucky, everyone always wanted to talk to her, hang out with her, be friends with her. Sometimes he wished he could be her. It would all be so easy if he was Pam.
Pam looked up to see Michael staring at her through the blinds. She smiled to herself before turning back to answering the phones. Sometimes she wondered what it was like to be Michael. It must be strange.
There's a rule of the universe. Never wonder the same thing at the same time as someone else. That's a karmic jinx.
10 This is absolutely hilarious. I spent the evening, reading this, laughing out loud and watching the Red Sox. An excellent night.
Author's Response:
I was laughing at the Red Sox all night too! ;0
Dwight's responses to the Proust Questionnaire (at least the ones he deemed worth answering)10 Wow. The Sean Connery line. Absolutely brilliant.
Author's Response:
Thanks for reviewing. This has to be the easiest story I ever wrote. I'm really glad folks like it.
10 Really, really great. Pitch perfect.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed it.
10 Gorgeous.
lisahoo issued a request for post-Fun Run smut. I'm breaking my self-imposed ban on posting this. See what you've made me do?
10 Yaaaay!
Author's Response: LOL! Thanks, Shassafrass!
MEMBER'S CHOICE TOP NOMINEE - Jim and Pam must interact in network sponsored live chats to promote their documentary. Angst (and maybe some smut) ensue.
Story now complete.
Wow. Nice to come back to something this good. You are a bona fide genius, Melissa.
Oh, God, this made me tear up. You know what's hilarious? That we crave the angst and the uncertainty. Much as I'm thrilled that JAM is together, it is the very nature of desire to remain unfulfilled. We really do need to need, don't we? You are so incredibly, incredibly good at this. Thank you.
10 Ach, you're fucking KILLING me over here...All of it rings true, though. All of it. So, so beautifully done.
10 Ugh. This is like torture. The kind that involves silk. Jesus, woman, you're fuckin' KILLING me over here.
10 Just absolutely beautiful, M. I'll miss it.
10 Jesus, woman, you knocked this fucking thing out of the park. And you call ME a rockstar?! (giggle) Damn, I'm just floored. We really have to do the Jim/Pam livejournal thing together when my work settles down a little. Bow, scrape, bow, scrape.
10 Oh, and DUDE!!! YOU DID over 50,000 words in less than 30 days!!! Screw NANOWRIMO! You're the SHIT!!!
10 These are REALLY funny!
Post-Benihana Christmas fic!
Remember when Jim and Pam convinced Dwight that a CIA helicopter would pick him up on the roof? Well, neither of them could resist showing up that night to see the prank to it's conclusion.
10 Wait, how come this isn't finished? It's really great.
Author's Response: Thanks :) It isn't finished because I'm such a procrastinator! It's terrible. But I've finally updated!
10 Yaaaay! This is like...like "second-episode!" I really do love your writing. You're smart as shit and funny as hell. It makes me wonder what you could do left to your own devices. Or outside of script format...You should try NANOWRIMO!
Author's Response: Wow! You are THE BEST! Thanks! I had to google NANOWRIMO (I thought you had a stroke or something while you were writing...lol...) and that is REALLY interesting! That is something I will definitely look into...
I'm gonna try and do it this year. Usually November comes, and I'm like "Shit! Foiled again!" But this time, I think I may have something to sink my teeth into. If you do it, let me know, and we can try and cheer eachother on...
Author's Response: Oh, definitely! It\'s a great idea! But man, November is a tough, busy month to try to write a novel in... damn. But I wanna see you go for it!
10 Really, really good. You can write, my friend, and not just comedy.
Author's Response: Wow, thanks, Shass. One day, I will try to write something that doesn\'t have a serious undertone to it. I think with the Office though, you can\'t. There\'s always an undercurrent of sadness or regret in the show. The way that melds with the comedy is probably why I love the show so much. Thanks again!