Future fic, but with some imagined back-story for Jim as well.
10 You already know what a great friend he is. Well, trust me, he’s an even better lover. If I knew then what I know now, I would have nailed his shoes to the floor.
LOL!!!! What a thing to tell Pam! What a mindfuck! I love it.
10 He kissed her for a very long time, hard and deep and every way he’d ever wanted to…and he’d spent a lot of time thinking about how he’d wanted to.
I love lines like this, that capture the passion Jim hides so well.
so fierce and ecstatic that it made him dizzy, he heard her moaning and then realized it was coming from him too. It blended together into the most perfect sound he’d ever heard.
Wow. /Jim
Passion, indeed.
If I have any critique about this chapter, it's that they talk too much. Most fanfic talks too much anyway, so I'm used to it, but next time Pam pours out her heart to Jim, I think dialogue would be superfluous.
Hmmm. You could be right re: talking. My thinking, though, is that after all these years of wanting this moment, when it finally happened, Jim would be momentarily stunned, need to digest it. Some dialogue would ensue, but they wouldn't talk it to death either.
Then KABOOM.
Anyway - thanks for all the great feedback...much appreciated!
10 Whoa. Can't believe I didn't leave a review (or rather, a valentine) last time I read this. Anyway, I love this. I love the moment when he discovers her bare ring finger. I love the last line.
And all the other lines. You so rock, Shan. Mistress of the short, sweet, and powerful.
10 WOW. Oh, MAN. I ... I need a drink. Or a cigarette. Woman, this is fine. Oh, yeah.
Roy and Jan. Jesus. That is SO porn. And I mean that in an entirely complimentary way. The blue-collar worker and the ice-cool executive. Please chase that story...
Going back to read this again....
Response to the Overheard challenge. A couple has an important conversation at the bank. 10 Whoa!!!! Did not see that last line coming! Way to spring a surprise ending! *applause*
Sometimes you double check to see if you can hear a dial tone.
Then again...sometimes you might be too distracted to bother. ;)
Busted! I love this ending. :D And Jim coaxing Pam to confess. Wonderful!
Author's Response: Thanks so much!
A hot night and a moonlit lake. That should do it. Oh, and a prank on Dwight.
10 "Do you know what I thought the first time I met you?"
....
She nips his earlobe and says, throatily, "Looonnnggg," and his toes curl.
My toes are curling, too. Wow. WOW. I have utterly dissolved into a puddle of goo.
Funny, this was one of my first thoughts about Jim, too. :D
"I think we may have scared off the lake creature." LOL! I can actually HEAR Jim saying this.
Thanks for a lovely fantasy. Pam and Jim are acting like real adults--she teases him but not forever; once she realizes what she's doing and what it means, she follows through like a lady. :) However, I think a normal male who had waited for a woman as long as Jim has waited for Pam would have a LOT less self-control. But this is a fantasy, so it works.
Oh, and as a prank on Dwight, it's up there with putting Dwight's desk in the men's room. Very funny, and Dwight's reaction is 100% believable. I definitely believe he would bring everything from a neutron emission detector to ground-penetrating radar with him on a camping trip.
Going back to re-read it now...
9 You know I'm pretty sure I still have the imprint of the drawer pull in my back.
Sooo hot. And I just love this fic. Pam's midnight talk with her daughter, their sassy sons (just like their dad), the "I told. I can't. I'm very happily married."... all of it pure gold. Loved it all. Thanks for this!
Inspired by a certain deleted scene from the Client. 10 Wham! What a jolt for thepoor man. Just took his heart right out and STOMPED on it! Beautifully written. Dammit.
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, generally, I hate slash. I especially hate it when obviously hetero characters are forced into homosexual behavior. Talk about OOC! But this...
I need a cigarette. And a drink. Damn.
What's really disturbing is I liked Dwight's response.
Post-"Gay Witch Hunt"; Pam's growing up and realizing that if you want something, sometimes you have to fight for it.It was worth the long wait for
"I always did."
Yeah, he did. And does.
"Maybe I'll just bend you over the copier.”
Please write this. Please. So good.
Love her leaving the note.
Ha! Hey lots of crazy things happen at Christmas parties...
By the way, I forgot to thank you for Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars". I write fic to that song. Wonderful.
10 "I think entirely too much, she scolded herself. All of these mind games and internal monologues were just avoiding the obvious."
Yeah, they are. I think these chapters need to be a bit shorter. I'm still not sure why Pam is so reluctant to have sex with Jim. If she's willing to sleep with the man, tease him, have every kind of sex BUT intercourse with him, I'd like to know the reason why.
Other than that, I like the email exchanges, Dwight's suspicions (so very Dwight of him!) and the postcards. As Kevin would say, "Niiiice."
Immediately post-Casino Night, Jim finds comfort from an unexpected source. Response to the "Second Choices" challenge.
10 I hit the submit button too soon...more comments.
He was making this Amazon come….She was falling limp against him….He was still a man, God damn it…
Again you show us Jim's wounded pride. Most excellent. Thank you.
“Honey, I don’t know who she is, but I’ll tell you something, she doesn’t know what she’s missing….”
WONDERFUL. I may fall in love with this woman myself.
I can’t watch it happen and I can’t stop it
Shit. I'm going to fucking STEAL this line. Perfect. Perfect.
that guy Champ looks just like Todd Packer,
Hysteria ensues....
The single critique I have is that the formatting of your conversation is unconventional and distracting. If this is a deliberate artistic choice I must disagree with it. I think it took away from the story.
Other than that, you are a goddess of smut and I bow to you. This was awesome. Thank you.
10 BECAUSE I’VE BECOME A FUCKING CHICK!!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for that line. I get so tired of the feminized Jim I see in so much fanfic. Thank you for making him a man.
Not that merely fighting with Roy makes him a man, but you showed us his anger--including his quite justifiable anger at Pam--and everything else he's kept bottled up inside. Women tend to turn anger into depression, so we see a lot of depressed and oversensitive Jims in these fanfics, but you are giving us a very believable man here--repressed, frustrated, angry, and sometimes letting the testosterone do the talking.
This guy might have that cute, boyish thing going for him, she thought, but, whoa, this was a whole different ballgame.
Yay JAN! YOU GO, GIRL! About time Jim was in the hands of a woman who knows what the fuck she is doing.
.Oh, God, how he needed to fuck right now….
Finally! Jim thinks like a man. Lovely. Sexy as hell.
The room door closed by itself behind them. He pinned her to the wall in the room’s entryway the instant she dropped her bag.
Oh, hell, this makes me just want to stand up and CHEER!!
It wasn’t the first time he’d heard these kinds of comments, but coming from Jan, Ms. Totally-in-Control, it was a monumental turn-on.
Oh wow. Is this actual...PRIDE...in Jim Halpert? You're a saint. Thank you.
He had been so silenced for so long. He didn’t even know if he knew how to give his thoughts and feelings voice any more.
Yes. Damn. Yes. Silenced for so long. Yes.
This might turn into something like my Away From the Cameras (in that I'll try to do one for every episode). This is, of course, assuming that those sneaky writers don't reveal something totally the opposite of the assumptions I'm going on here.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.I love your introduction of the cameramen and their reaction to the story playing out in front of them. I like it so much I may even steal it....
An Office-based parody of The Princess Bride.8 MORE!!! MORE!!! AUUUGHHH!
This is one of best parodies I've read in a while. Wonderful!
Inspired by the premiere’s melancholy whiff o’Jam. Except with a happy ending, because…I felt like it. Contains a possible SPOILER – nothing you wouldn’t know unless you’ve avoided even those tiny tidbits in the mass media. Just saying, to be fair.10 Well, you asked for commentary. I hadn't reviewed this because I had problems with the transition, or lack of it, between the section where they're longing for one another and the section where suddenly they're together in the back yard while she paints. I felt like I'd skipped a chapter. I needed the scene where they finally reach across that chasm and find one another again.
And then, damn if you didn't give it to me, at the um climax of the story. How brilliant is that? Turning the narrative order inside out on me like that, well, I don't know how to say "well done" enough. I didn't know exactly how to review something that well done. I feel like, well, like John Krasinski evaluating David Foster Wallace. :)
Further, these are two of the HOTTEST paragraphs I've ever read from you (which is saying a lot):
The intensity of it was almost too much. He began to understand why characters in romantic novels go mad from this. Finally, he starts to believe his welcome won’t disappear at any given moment. He finds it’s even better when he starts to trust it, to relax into it a little. Now he relishes making her laugh in the dark almost as much as making her moan.
When they were first together he’d always make love to her like it might be the last time. He’d try to memorize every facet of her body, just in case it was: the luxury of her breasts pressed against his chest; the secret taste of her; her voice crying his name when he’s deeply, tightly, blissfully enveloped by her.
I don't know what else I can say. Except I hope the crew at Reveille is downloading and printing this stuff out, so that the cast and crew can enjoy them as much as we do.
nej - I really appreciate you checking this out. When you mentioned my collection of pieces in your last review, I immediately thought of this, because, it's the one I suppose I like best. And I really value your opinion.
JK and DFW?!?!? In my dreams! But seriously, I'm glad you liked the inverted structure...somehow, it just felt right to me to deconstruct the order that way - in fact I started this piece with the very last, brief, line.
Strange how these things come to you - the piece I wrote right before this (No Reason At All) is very different, but in my mind is very linked to this. (Also one of the ones I feel closest to, BTW.)
Anyway...thanks for all your comments. I was really interested in what you'd have to say. The crew at Reveille, huh? Nice fantasy! (Oh, and sorry about your face!)
Jim is not successful in stealing Pam's Christmas card back.
"...the focus was on two standing side by side. Their stripes matched perfectly, and they were labeled “Jim” and “Pam”.
Awwwwwwwww
"There wasn't enough punch in the world to turn her into that sort of girl, and he wasn't that sort of boy."Oh God. Poor Jim.
Very well done. I liked their belly to belly hug.
10 Oh, wow. Just all kinds ofwonderfully, painfully sad. Thanks.
"Jim, I guess I'm having a hard time understanding exactly why you're talking to me instead of her."
"Hmmm. Well, Michael did say you were the hottest in the office but if you don't want me, I guess I can settle for Pam."
LOL!!! This is great! I am not sure Ryan would ever open up to anyone this much, but on the phone, who knows? At any rate, you've got the pace and style of their conversation down perfectly. I like this snippet best so far.
"Maybe you'll get drunk dialed by me on that subject one day."
Hee!
Yay, Darryl! You go, baby! I love Darryl. So down-to-earth. So real. The perfect foil for everyone on the fourth floor. And I love how he's looking out for his buddy Roy. I also love how observant he is (watching Pam watching Jim's car leave the lot, etc). You really made him come alive, as a real character. Congratulations.
I love Darryl too! Down to earth -yes! ("Mike, I am not having fire eaters in a paper warehouse...") So glad he saved the day on the episode last night as well! I figured he'd get sick of Roy wasting his time and step in at some point. Thanks NEJ!
10 Yay! This is EXACTLY what Pam needs -- a gay best friend!!! Perfect!! What a stroke of genius. I hope Greg Daniels picks up on this idea. It would be fabulous to have Oscar backing Pam up and rooting for her and Jim. Thanks for writing this.
Author's Response: And what's better than one gay friend? Two! I hope Oscar returns from Europe soon because Pam is gonna have to step it up a notch to compete with Karen and those exotic good looks. Thanks NEJam!
Fanfic is a fun outlet for me after a long day at the office, but it's also a chance to work on some writing issues: character development, style, pacing. So thanks to anyone who gives me reviews!