I've been writing fanfiction for awhile now. Just recently discovered The Office and figured I'd try my hand at that as well.
At first I thought of having all my stories in the same universe, but then I had some AU ideas. So any stories that occur within a common universe will be in a given series.
Post Casino Night AU where Jim goes to Australia, and Pam follows.
Nice way to incorporate your new AU with some canon elements. It's nice to see Karen as a friend here.
Even more fun that Jim could be a part of the fun planning the CIA prank rather than just coming in at the tail end of it.
Hopefully the Jim and Pam living together thing resolves fairly soon. I'm sure Izzy would like to have her couch back. Unless Pam's spending most nights at Jim's place, which is also feasible.
Author's Response: Thank you! I believe the next chapter will resolve it--and I agree, that's a long couch-surf.
"And anyway, while Pam was over most nights, it wasn’t the same as living together."
*Insert sarcastic Dr. Evil voice * Riiight.
Just kidding of course. Still a nice bit of private at home banter there at the start. They really do have a lot of fun bouncing off each other like that. It's adorable to read.
Very cute with the house. Nice OC's that added flavor to the chapter. Even more fun with the terrace. Looks like they found a great place.
Author's Response: Thank you! I enjoyed the OCs--they may be a little based on my neighbors...
Ahhhhhhhh.
Much nicer way for that wedding to play out. A double Pam POV chapter too. Is that the first time such a thing has happened in this fic? I could be. Her thoughts wondering if he was going to propose seemed very real. I also liked the insight on how the living together is going. No perfect, but perfect for them. Great way to describe it.
Author's Response: Technically the first part was Jim's POV--he was just entirely focused on Pam. I'm glad you're still enjoying, and thanks!
I liked the nod there to the Finer Things Club. Nice job to add in a little extra context to that.
I'm really glad you left in the exchange with Micheal. That's one of his best scenes in the series in my mind. Here with Jim standing next to her it feels like it means even more. Good choice in keeping that in.
Also fun to see the "prettiest of all the art," used in this context too. After the more serious discussion, using those lines as a more carefree fun teasing banter-ish delivery felt a lot better rather than just Roy not knowing what to say. Nice translation of the line into this AU.
Author's Response: Thank you! I feel like that is a very important chapter in the Michael-Pam relationship, and I really wanted to keep it in.
Short and sweet to be sure. Like others have said, it's a treat to watch this version of Jim and Pam mingle. So much less tension. It's just wonderful to read.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.
As much as I've loved this story, it's nice to see there is an end goal in mind. I love that they're being so supportive of each other. That was something we saw a lot in later seasons and its great to see it here too.
Author's Response: Thank you! I think it's time to get this over with--not in a bad way, but in the sense that this could just go on forever and lose steam and I'd rather not let it.
Very nice. Karen has been a good friend this time around. Loved that without all the drama between Jim and Pam we could explore that a bit.
Yes we're away from canon, but the things that are still the same make up for it here. I like Pam's thought process. They're on the cusp of a big life change. I love that she's so much braver and confident about everything. It might take a bit of mulling over, but that's smart. She's grown and in that growth she knows it's important to take the time and digest and think about what you're doing rather than just a blind jump. Good on ya Pam.
Of course there at the end it's also great to see Jim just instantly supportive of her. He always has been, but it's still always nice to see.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad this is working for you--as always--and I think it's really important that we see some of how Pam is getting here.
Feels like a good setup for the finale. You've got Jim and Pam both in great places in their lives. Nice use of some canon lines there in the introspection. Dwight was a treat being in character like that, as was how Jim shut him down.
Loved the pieces that Pam sent into Pratt. From where I'm sitting, a great way to highlight her range.
Looking forward to seeing how this all wraps up.
Author's Response: Thank you! I hope the finale feels right--I was very happy with it, but then again, I wrote the dang thing...
You did it again! Here we are on the home stretch, the last chapter, one final time for me to try and keep myself under control while reading this story and you go and slip in the name Inigo there. Ah well, my wife already thinks me crazy so I guess no harm no foul there.
No surprises about how the actual interviews would go. With Pam and Jim so firmly in each other's corners, there's no way they would have failed either one. I really like the vision Jim laid out. He's setting the job up to play to his strengths. Great choice. Pam's confusion about everything was adorable to read and envision. She's bloomed into a great person.
This whole story has been just a fun filled ride the entire time. From the early Google searches as they wound their way through Sydney, to their adventures Down Under, and a much more satisfying way for S3 to unfold, it's been a joy to read. Your dedication to keeping up with constant updates has been an inspiration. It's been fun, funny, exciting, and adventurous all at the same time. I wish I hadn't run out of jelly beans so long ago because just about every chapter is worthy of one.
Can't wait to see what you'll think of next. Well done my friend. This one was epic.
Fortes Fortuna Adiuvat
Author's Response: I feel like I never do justice to your amazing reviews. Thank you so much for your support and feedback throughout this long, long process of writing this fic. I'm so delighted to hear that I managed to get you again! A fitting note to go out on...
Pam calls off her wedding. Roy goes from zero to "I'm going to kill Jim Halpert" in a second.
Note: no Jim Halperts were harmed in the making of this fic.
1 Great one shot. I mean I could probably wax poetical about this story for about as long as the story itself is. You hit just about every emotional beat there could be just right. Numbness, disgust, annoyance, shock, surprise, anger, trepidation, bemusement, caution, and then the first few slivers of hope to bloom into encompassing joy and safety.
Just wonderful.
Author's Response: Thanks, Warrior! I’m all for quality over quantity and this lovely review is definitely quality!
Good premise thus far. Always kind of fun to have a reunion type of story. It's short so there's not a lot of depth yet other than just introducing the premise.
On the technical standpoint of writing there are some ways you can improve.
Whenever a new character starts talking, make that a new paragraph. It makes it easier to see who is talking who they're talking to.
Watch your verb tense. You change between past tense and present tense a few times. "5 (Also that should probably be written out 'Five' instead of '5') years after the documentary aired, Kelly sent out a text message..." You're in past tense there.
"'I haven't seen my Dunder Mifflin family in a while!' Pam says..." Present tense there. Change the "says" to "said" and things line up a bit more.
Now admittedly I'm NOT a grammar expert or anything like that. If there are people who are more knowledgeable than me when it comes to grammar issues, please listen to them rather than me.
Still not bad for a start. We all have to start somewhere and the fun thing is that you can only improve as time goes on.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for those tips!
And maybe someday it's me and you,
But right now I can't seem to feel it too,
You're on my mind,
I know it hurts it's just not our time.
A song fic to Our Time Together by Ivan B. A deeper look into Casino Night and the weekend following it.
1 Wow. Great job for your first story here. Excellent take on the after effects of Casino Night. I'm not sure I've read a story like this one where Pam calls Jim like that after he leaves her at his desk. Lots of very real emotions going on. Written heartbreakingly beautiful too. I'd love to read a companion piece to this that happens after "The Job." If that's what they were feeling when they separated, I can only imagine what kinds of emotions you'd have them going through when they finally get together.
Very well done. Welcome to MTT.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much! I'm so glad people seem to like it, especially since this is my first story since I was in high school lol. I love and cherish all the cutesy and fun Jam moments, but I also love when they have their moments of trouble. I will definitely consider writing a similar story about The Job, that is a great idea!
Seconding what Jenna say about the technical aspects. Please take some time proofread or have someone else proofread for you. It'll make you a better writer. In addition to what Jenna said I also spotted a few time where verb tense switched back and forth between past and present, as well as some homophone type issues. "site" vs "sight" as an example.
Also Karen is usually though of to be of Italian descent not Hispanic. Just a little thing to clarify.
I also agree with Jenna that it seems odd that Jim would be so familiar with Pam so soon. His whole reason to be in Stamford is to get away from her. That's why it's such a big shock to both of them in canon when they have the phone call where he dubs her Fancy New Beesly. One gets the sense that's the first time they've spoken since Casino Night.
If Jim planned a long-distance prank on Dwight and Pam reached out to get in on it, I could see that working though.
Good on you for posting your first story though. It's a little rough what with all the grammar issues that have been discussed. Take your time, polish off the edges though and you do have a good concept. Hope that helps.
Author's Response:
Thank you for taking the time to leave a review.
I will make sure to take more time with the next chapter and proofreading, I have never been good with spelling and grammar but I will try my best in the future to improve it. That is after all part of the reason I decided to write a story to begin with.
I am really grateful for the welcome I have received onto the site and plan to continue posting.
Thanks again for the review.
Pam's father is leaving her mother. Somehow, Jim is to blame.
Set Season 3, sometime after The Merger.
(Don't ask me why I took a perfect canon moment, put it in Season 3 & sprinkled in some angst, but I did...)
1 Feel free to head down this road whenever you feel like it. That was great Jenna! I mean it was a huge kick in the pants for them both to get them talking to each other, but the results were no less than stellar!
For Pam to have that kind of morning, to have everything turn around and have that kind of afternoon, evening, and night was a superb feat in contrasting ideas.
I just loved that once they are finally 100% open and honest about everything, there's no stopping them. That their first time is in the office like this is another long standing tradition in fic and you done it proud.
Outstanding job as per usual.
Author's Response: Warrior, thank you! I know you to give kind, but frank reviews so it means a lot to have your encouragement here.
Pam reminisces about her time spent with Roy in The Poconos.
(If you don't like Roy maybe don't read, but if I do a next chapter it will most likely feature Jim).
I was a bit hesitant at first to click on this one. Mainly because I usually detest Roy and have a love for all things JAM. However the Roy/Pam relationship is part of the story so it makes sense that it comes up every so often.
Most of the time it's Roy who is the boring lover and Jim is the one to spice things up. Interesting take to have that switched around.
I would very much enjoy seeing what Pam bought for Jim to try and spice up their relationship.
"I wanted you to fight for me and you didn't."
A deeper look into "Benihana Christmas" and "Back From Vacation" with an AU at the end of Jim and Pam getting together.
1 Great introspection through all the canon-correct moments. I really liked how you got into their heads while everything we saw on screen was going on.
I was wondering when you were going to take this story AU. Dwight's friendship and his encouragement was a lovely way to do it. Clearly this Pam has done quite a bit of growing since Jim left and came back, but I think it's entirely realistic that she needs that little extra push.
Interesting take with Karen there. He's given her what she wanted, more clear signs that he's putting effort into their relationship and then she just breaks it off. I appreciate that you gave us the whole conversation. Those scenes can be tricky to write, but I think you did it well in order to achieve the effect you wanted.
Then of course when Pam comes over it's all just wonderful. Well done Pam for being the one to fight for Jim. The reward is waking up in his arms which is always a lovely image to envision. Great job.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much, this means so much! I love trying to figure out what the characters are thinking while watching the show, so I'm glad to finally be able to write down what I think is going on.
I was a little worried about writing additional dialogue for the Pam/Dwight scene, because Dwight is such an interesting character and it can be hard to keep him that way while also trying to expand on him, but I think I did okay, hopefully lol. I definitely think that Pam was a lot stronger by herself at this point, but you can see throughout the show, even after she's with Jim and is at her best, that sometimes she still needs that little bit of encouragement.
I also wasn't really sure how to get Jim and Karen to break up, because I knew I needed them to for the end of the story. I considered having Pam confess and then Jim would break up with Karen, but that just didn't seem right. So, I figured Karen deserved a little bit of justice and dignity and would break up with him once she finally accepts that he's just too far gone with Pam.
I love a good Jam fluff sesh, especially if it follows a confession lol. I'm glad you think I did well on it! When I first saw the prompt, my initial reaction was to have Jim fight for Pam, but we need some girl power.
Thank you so much for your detailed review, I really appreciate it!
1 I was kinda wondering about how you'd get them into quarantine. That's actually a very plausible solution to it. So now that the initial shock is over, we face the reality of Jim and Pam being alone, in the office, by themselves, for three days. Something tells me this is going to be full of all sorts of twists and turns.
Also I'm glad you're not using COVID as a was to have them be in quarantine. It's a bit to real right now, so I think using a different disease is the right way to go on this one.
Looking forward to what comes next.
Author's Response: I'm relieved this didn't seem too uncomfortable to read, that it seems to be working for you. Thanks for taking the time to give such wonderful, thoughtful reviews. Chapter 2 is up now!
1 Wow! That was one hell of an update for this story. Okay, I'm going to take this nice and easy. Mostly visitor by visitor. First to have David stop by and take off any workplace concerns they have. Great way to show his character like that. I removes one more source of stress they're going through.
Then Roy. I mean what more is there to say about him really? He's the same bullheaded peaked in high school oaf we all expect him to be. He's also only thinking about himself. How the only reason he'll miss Pam is because of what she does for him. Cook, clean, etc. I mean you've got him as a walking faucet of testosterone here. Seems like Pam's starting to figure out she's getting sick of that high school boy act. Well written in the fact it's yet another Roy in a fic that really deserves a good punching.
Then the families start showing up. Which turns the tables nicely. First off I love that they've all met previously and that they all get along well. Jim and Penny have nicknames for each other. Betsy and Pam chatter easily. Lovely and warm to witness.
I'm going to skip ahead just a touch and also say how much I loved Penny's not-so-subtle sass here. Not only her pushing Pam towards Jim while she's on the phone with Pam, but with everything she packed in the suitcase. That was great.
Of course seeing Pam's reactions as the day progressed were also interesting to see. How she starts out saying to herself she'll pass the test with flying colors to ending the day wanting to kiss Jim. Great introspection throughout it all. Seems like she's starting to rethink a few things. Especially with that conversation she and Jim had over Chinese food. Lots of pushes and pulls every which way. makes for a very compelling story.
Superb job with this chapter. Can't wait for the next one.
Author's Response: Wow! Thank you! Your reviews are always so great :) I'm glad you liked the parade of visitors. They were all fun to write.
1 Aww, they named a yoga pose after me. Kidding of course. Having taken a few yoga classes over the years I'm familiar with that position. Still it was a nice little detail.
So yeah, this chapter just had sexual tension from start to finish. Jim waking up to Pam's morning yoga routine, an entire day of nothing but banter, and then of course the puzzle table.
Great use there. Clearly they do fit together well. The picture on the front of the box to use as a guide is face down for them right now though. Which of course means that while they can get some pieces fitting together right, they won't be able to complete the whole puzzle until they can really see what they're working towards without any distraction.
I mean that was just a great piece of writing right there. Still can't wait to see what happens next.
Author's Response: Thank you! And though I didn't intend the puzzle metaphor, I wish I'd used that, lol. Maybe I still will later. Can't wait to hear what you think of ch. 4.
1 Well that's certainly one way to have them start getting their feelings out.
Roy's acting shifty. Just there and gone again. I have thoughts on that matter, but it's to soon to make any conclusions.
Is it to soon for sex? Maybe, but considering everything you've been building in this story it also fits. Now I'm very curious to see Pam's reaction. Will she follow after Jim, retreat into herself again, call Roy, call Penny? (please let her call Penny so we can have some more delightful Penny pushed Pam towards Jim banter)
Can't wait for the next update.
Author's Response: Thank you! I was worried things were going too fast for them. I gotta admit though, being trapped with Jim would offer a pretty big temptation for any girl. I just posted ch. 5. Thanks again for the great review.
Lots of interesting thoughts going on here. You wrote their conflicting emotions really well. Clearly this all of this is big deal for both of them. It's good that they did take some time to talk about things. I also liked that Pam reached out to Penny. Granted we kinda knew how Penny would react, but it's also good for Pam to have someone else other than Jim to confide in.
Looks like Pam's also come to a decision. I get that she's still having a hard time verbalizing everything, but it looks like there's progress for her.
Dwight in a HAZMAT suit was a hoot to envision. Can't wait for the next update.
Author's Response: Thank you! And Dwight is always fun to write. Chapter 6 is up now.
Yeah, that's about what I figured was happening with Roy. Good for Pam that she did tell him what happened, and it seems very typical that Roy would react with such blatant hypocrisy. So good to see that Roy and Pam are done. Hopefully she doesn't get hypothermia on the walk to Jim's place.
Dwight was great here too.
Author's Response: Fear not; Pam survives her walk just fine. Glad you liked Dwight in this. I adore him so much. Thanks for the review. I just posted the conclusion.
1 Very easy to see why Jim was going a little stir crazy there at the beginning of the chapter. Loved the way they take care of each other after Pam makes her way to his place. You wrote them in a way that continue all the feelings they started sharing while they were cooped up in the office.
Lovely to have to have them go back and see Stella and Jerry. I loved that they got advice from them as to how to make their relationship stand the test of time.
Great fic. A few ups and downs, but that's what makes a story fun.
Fortes Fortuna Adiuvat
Author's Response: Thank you, warrior! You are always so kind and generous with your reviews. I'm always encouraged :)
1 Right to the heart. Great use of economy of words.
1 That's what you call a cool down? Seems like they were just warming up. Seriously though, good job for getting back into the swing of writing.
Lots of fun with this here. I love that they can play like this with each other. Shows they trust each other to experiment a bit, but they're also careful with each other keep things fun and sexy.
Great descriptions throughout.
Author's Response: Thanks warrior! You got exactly what I was trying to show - the relationship they have that is intimate but fun too.