Late to the party, but so glad I came. {That's what she said}
Jim and Pam, a snowstorm, and a bottle of tequila. Could a Christmas miracle finally force these two to be honest with each other?
Takes place immediately following A Benihana Christmas.
1 "She couldn't let it go, 'Karen seemed mad.'" Go on, Pam.
Ugh. That IS the worst Christmas song ever. EVER. So glad you went with that.
I can't lie. When you mentioned candles, I cackled.
Damn. Pam's right; you are brilliant on that Dwight bit...
"Why don't you just get naked in my house. It's fine bc I love you." Oh. My. God. Pammmmmm. Yessssssss.
Pam's independence established through Christmas decorations is so wonderful and so realistic. Trust me on this one. ;)
The bread! Gah! The bread! Fantastic.
"She's not thrilled with this" "Are any of us?" I abso-freaking-lutely love Brutal Blunt Pam of few words. She slayed him here and I don't feel bad about it. Not even a little.
Excellent movie choice.
No power! The sophisticated fanfic upgrade over "there was only one bed." And I am here for it!
Author's Response:
Pam needling Jim about Karen is one of my new favorite things and she’s definitely not done yet. I mean, with the way Jim reacts, can you blame her?
“The sophisticated fanfic upgrade of there was only one bed” makes me laugh because it’s so true.
1 That battery moment is perfection. PERFECTion.
I share in Pam's surprise that Kelly is his choice for a snowball. I always assumed Ryan. Except here maybe he doesn't know Things. :D
Beautiful reintroduction of their banter. God, you write their dialogue so wonderfully.
Okay, once you hit FMK, it just went into this blissful real conversation between two friends that I can't break it apart to dissect it. It's just so good!
I love that once they go off the rails with how this game should be played, I feel like Jim is here for this as much as we are. In all these perfect little gestures you totally showcase how intrigued he is with the situation he finds himself.
"Jim he didn't care. THat's the whole point." And I'm right out of that euphoric moment into how real and crushing the baggage is that these two carry around. Great moment that is so small and says SO MUCH about where Pam has been.
I knew the Katy/Karen thing was coming, but I was not prepared for how amazing it would be. Not prepared, at all.
Remember when we talked about how I love Karen (so I always write her as the BFF in AU) but I hate her for Jim and you warned me about this and I said "Crucify Karen" and then you wrote "Karen is boring in bed" and yesssssssssss! It IS too good not to repeat.
Ya know what deserves a "what the actual fuck"? That ending. Cause that's what I said when I read it. On the eve of Baby Jesus' birth. Seriously. And if you turn into one of those ff writers who just ends it there and we don't hear from you for, I don't know, EVER, I will cry. Or die. Or drink too much tequila. Or all three (but not necessarily in that order). Wow.
Author's Response:
How could you even know that the “Jim he didn’t care. That’s the whole point.” line was my favorite thing I wrote in this chapter? Yes, even more so then the last question.. seriously, I’m so happy you singled that little bit out!
And I’m only just getting started with the ruining of Karen. Don’t you worry about that. ;)
Hopefully you enjoy what’s coming up next!
1 Jim saying, 'You have to say it' in this way I can HEAR was enough to set the stage for this amazing scene. Because you gave us TWO kisses, both so incredibly intimate and desperate. And when Pam said, "Shut up" because he said one word, I squealed. Her confidence in that moment was fantastic but also so realistic.
Oh, and her trying to commit the moment to memory was just too lovely and bittersweet.
I stand by Pam's Wild Summer. Actually, this adds a whole new level to Pam's Wild Summer. Ha! And her Owning him with that tease about wishing he hadn't used his follow up.
Oh my god, how do you do this though?? You make it funny and flirty and light and then *bam* there's this serious and cathartic conversation that actually moves the characters forward. AND you keep them in character with some of the teasing and self-deprecation.
Great moment having Pam clam up. Cause, you're right, she can't suddenly become completely and fully brave in one night, even if she has had a lot of tequila.
And there you go with another cliffhanger. I went back and read the previously posted chapters. WHAT did she lie about?!
Author's Response:
I mean, Jim wasn’t going to take any chances that he might misinterpret anything right there. Can’t vlame him for that.
I know, right? What -could- she have lied about? Get ready for another Pam rambles moment, because yeah, tequila makes her chatty. Just ask the school teacher ;) Thank you for the review!
1 How did you do it? How did you capture the humor and the sexiness and the pain and the history...how did you do it? Also, how do cameras work?
I mean, you just get it right every damn time. Okay, so Pam's confession was far more benign than I was bracing myself for, but it was about 10x more lovely and meaningful than I imagined. I also sort of love how neither one of them can get on the same page in that moment; they're still a bit too estranged to communicate with just a Meaningful Look. It was nice dose of light-angst with their classic banter.
Jim's Bonus Question: "I want you" and her stifled hopefulness "That's not a question" and his confident "It never has been." I think you broke my brain... No, seriously, it was like a dramatic reading with the hand flapping and screeching. Ugh, it is just. so. good.
And don't think your little reference to teachers, engineers, and business school students went unnoticed.
Every single moment of the Roy thing (you know what Roy thing I'm talking about) was so wonderful and funny and exactly in character.
"racing against they daylight" and "struggling how to say goodbye in the morning" I'm fine. I'm fine.
Hey, when I said ruin Karen, this. This is what I meant. It was the perfect way for them to break up. You managed to completely make one-sided dialogue crystal clear. And every bit of Jim's honesty and wanting to break up with her in person and wanting to restock Pam's necessities was ALL so in-character. Seriously.
Wait, I could have asked for a real life Jim Halpert action figure this year?!
Oh and that ending was so perfect. Seriously, I love this story. It absolutely showcases your talent for writing these two idiots with so much depth but also keeping it flirty and a funny and, my favorite, with a happy ending. Definitely one of my faves!
Author's Response:
How do cameras work is never not going to make me laugh. It’s always a great question.
Jim’s bonus question was the first bit of dialogue I came up with when deciding to write this story and god, it felt like it took me forever to get them there but hopefully, it paid off in the end ;)
Karen deserved it, I don’t even care!
So, your comments made my morning. Seriously, thank you for taking the time to read and call things out (business school student, included) and for just being so damn supportive of this from the start! Keep it up, and I’ll see about getting you a collector’s edition Jim Halpert. They’re currently out of stock, and the waiting list is longer than the one for a Birkin bag in 2002, but I know a guy.
1 Oh this is good stuff! There are so many directions you can take this and I can't wait to see what comes next.
1 Pam's psychosexual analysis of Todd Packer is amazing. I will never be able to see him without thinking of this.
Oooooh, that was a tricky thing with Jim and Roy playing basketball together. That's an interesting dynamic to consider.
But that last scene with the Beesly part was pretty great.
Author's Response: Thank you! I had a lot of fun with this chapter, and particularly the elements you just called out. Thanks for reading so carefully.
1 Ugh. Okay, it's a bit painful to think that Roy was complaining before Jim knew and then he has to figure it out. And that is such a Jim thought; if it's that bad, just end it.
I like how he notices details in her artwork. Rather than just liking it as a supportive friend, he really finds something about the merits of her art to enjoy.
Author's Response: Yeah...I don't think Roy is the sort to keep his mouth shut, if you know what I mean. And I think the best of Jim is when he's being legitimately supportive of Pam, not just romantic. So thank you!
1 Man, you captured Roy pretty perfectly here. You provide these explanations that really paint a thorough picture of him, positives and negatives, but they are very simple things (such as why he doesn't want to talk about work). Oh, and Roy having a Feeling about what he sees going on with Pam and Jim, but he doesn't understand it. Whoo! Yes, poor Roy doesn't have a wide range on that old emotional scale and that little scene would have thrown him for a loop.
Wonderfully done!
Author's Response: Thank you very much! Roy is always a challenge, to avoid making him too one-note, so let me know as the Roy chapters pile up if you think it continues working for you.
1 Wow. I haven't had to see an outline like that in, um, a few years. But it absolutely works. And man, 2bi and 2bii are painful and 100% spot on.
Author's Response:
I miss those lists, so I decided to incorporate them here. 2B is just generally sad I think...
Thanks for reading!
1 "Noticing that he didn't notice her either" and the whole paragraph that contains that line! Oh that is goooooood. You can see where they both have a bit of fault in not noticing each other and the danger in the complacency of that. And that immediate, simple dependence on Jim? Geez, that's good stuff.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad this is hitting the right notes for you. It's very good to hear that!
Ha! Your chapter end note is fantastic. Oh, Roy. In the South, we would say "Bless his heart." You've got this perfect Just a Simple Guy/Child/Clueless Dummy/Insensitive Jerk Combination down perfectly.
Author's Response: Ouch, "bless his heart." It's not wrong, but the worst part is that I don't think Roy would notice the cut. Thanks for reading!
So as I read most of this, I kept thinking, "But is it just that?" Don't get me wrong, I felt like you were right, that just wasn't ALL of it with Pam (especially in the context of Jim - all the time, not just at the dojo). Then you wrote that freaking "caught" paragraph and I literally groaned out loud because THAT was the cherry on the sundae of breaking down her insecurity.
And I love that he referenced that outline. Good follow through.
I also really love how in the previous chapter, Roy acknowledges he and Pam are different and it's fine; they can coexist through it. (BTW, not an endorsement of that philosophy, esp for someone like Pam; she's far too intuitively driven to live like that.) But here, Jim recognizes their differences and, I don't know, I just feel like it is an "early days" understanding that Jim has that those differences can be blended rather than just standing side by side. Maybe I'm off base from where you're intending to take it, but I think it's a nice insight into Jim later saying, "I think I always knew I was waiting for my wife." If I'm wrong I'll just throw a towel over my head and this review. :D
Author's Response:
Yeah, I think that's 100% fair...but I also think that Jim at this point has a slightly less than full view of Pam in that he's kind of built her up a bit inside. Not that she's not awesome (I am firmly pro-Pam in all facets and on all points) but I'm not quite sure Jim in early S2 understands and values her weaknesses as well as her strengths. So I was trying to get that sense there (without making him unworthy of her of course).
And yes! I think that Jim (despite what I said above) has the right understanding of how two people can work together, compared to Roy at least, and that this is an important reason why his and Pam's relationship works better than hers and Roy's. Thank you for the detailed commentary!
Lovely, lovely chapter. Haven't we all been angry with ourselves, our lives, others, whatever at 3AM to the point we are the most honest and also the most alone. The bit where she recognizes that elusive Something in Jim's eyes is particularly wonderful.
Fantastic last sentence. Fantastic.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm really glad you liked the ending; I couldn't decide if that phrasing was too cheesy but I decided to just go for it.
See, you just, you do this thing that I feel like I repeat, but it's so true. You make him this clueless buffoon who I also feel sorry for while simultaneously wanting to throttle him. He's this simple guy who is stuck in his glory days. Not malicious, not a bad guy, but NOT the right guy for Pam. And with this, you give so much insight into part of why Pam stayed for so long.
Truly, you have some of the best, most realistic characterizations of Roy I think I've ever read.
But I still don't like him for Pam.
Author's Response: Huzzah for the duality of Roy! I agree wholeheartedly that he's not necessarily a bad guy but oh god is he wrong for her. I'm glad that's coming through in the chapters, thanks for reading! :)
Remember a couple of reviews ago when I said I kind of felt sorry for Roy? I take it back. ;)
This is so wonderful; I love that moment where Pam wonders if this is what giving up looks like. So wonderful.
Author's Response: Thank you! Part of the point of this series is for me to have a chance to think about how this particular (Pam/Roy) relationship evolved and how it can be toxic and yet not quite break the camel's back for so long (to mix metaphors). I'm so happy to hear from your feedback that it's convincing.
"In some strange way he realizes this is him still trying to protect her." COMFECT!! That whole paragraph has this beautiful tone of why this is so painful. He CAN'T help himself when it comes to her. He just can't.
The angst is so necessary and realistic for this episode.
The only thing I hate about these latest chapters is that I am out of jellybeans for them...
Author's Response: Aww, thanks! One thing I'm trying in this series to do is to explore (in addition to the Pam/Roy dynamic) the whole Jim-angst thing from an angle that makes me feel less like he's being an ass by not confessing earlier. I think this is an important part of it--he's decided she wants what she says she wants, and so he's trying to exit the situation rather than being honest because it matters to her. Which makes me feel better about him. Not that I usually hate Jim! I just find this particular situation frustrating.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: Bless his heart...
Author's Response: Just how cuttingly southern do you mean that to be? ;)
Wow! Wow. WoW. Comfect. Every bit of this is a thing of beauty. Really. You hit every single moment directly on the head. I can't say anything but gushing over how wonderful it is. So. Perfect. Especially for an iconic scene that has been done 1,000 times. Bravo.
Okay, I have to tell you a few things I absolutely love:
-I mean, every bit of Pam's PoV. But, that reference to her delayed processing in the parking lot was too much and too wonderful. What "I can't" could have meant...
-Jim understanding how Pam uses silence. Yessssss! This goes back to an earlier review where I mentioned that Jim just gets her and (even if he's not fully dialed into it and able to articulate it) he knows how to read her in ways that Roy never will.
-Roy's "Keep an eye on her" being a bro version of I'm onto you, but I'll let it slide is ABSOLUTELY correct. Roy's an idiot, but he's not dumb (or vice versa, but you know what I'm saying there).
Author's Response: Thank you so much. That's really wonderful to hear. I think the trick (at least for me) of dealing with a scene that's been done 1,000 times is that I've read pretty much everything that's been written on this site (not quite as much as BecauseOfYou, but if it's over 1000 words and not a romantic pairing I strongly object to I've almost certainly at least glanced at it), and so I am in a lot of ways either reflecting this archive's consensus back through my writing or very deliberately taking an angle I haven't seen before. I'm not actually sure which one this is--but I'm so delighted you liked it!
Ah, I do love/hate the thoughts of that weekend after Casino Night. Great details you added in to make this feel like canon (DM starting early for international calls; each little "spot" that holds a memory).
Really great chapter.
Author's Response: Thank you! Writing Jim is kind of instinctive for me for various reasons, so I'm ecstatic to hear my instincts line up with what feels like canon for you :D.
Fantastic. Very clever with how and why the emails were spammed.
I can't tell you how much I love that you had DM misspell her name. :D So funny because yes.
Really great work here.
Author's Response: Thank you! I think I'm being a little over-cute with that, but I couldn't resist, and I'm glad you liked it.
1 Oh! This was so great. I love the Parent Trap vibes. My favorite was Betsy's "Yep, my son the idiot" admission. Thank you for this fun story.
1 I think you could go either way, but I would love to see more! You do a great job of writing that nervous tension + companionable silence between these two. Good stuff!
An office party is not an excuse to get really drunk, or confront someone, or have a cathartic experience of any kind.
Also, Pam won't tell Jim what her favorite Christmas song is.
1 First things first: These prompts were amazing and clearly deeply inspirational. Man, oh, man. Whoever had YOU as their Secret Santa hit the jackpot. :D
Um, how do you write Jam dialogue SO perfectly? I feel like you are a former writer for the show because I HEAR the characters in your dialogue, even in the very simple stuff.
I can't help it, but I LOVE Pam begrudgingly taking care of Michael and his incompetence.
I 50/50 love you/hate you for once again referencing the WORST holiday song in all of creation...but that is some damn redemption at the end. It's my new life canon...oh, wait, I guess we just call that reality. Oh, well. I love the story you created and I'm going with it. Amazing. [I make no promises that in my future fics Creed won't refer to Pammy as Tammy cause...perfection.]
There are too many wonderful moments/jokes...the missing Baby Jesus, Taylor Swift (anyone who disagrees can fight me), melting ice cream cake, Stanley's cookies, "I'm a sucker for a bracket". It's all fine; I wanted to die reading your fanfic so...
As soon as you become a parent, "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" has ALL kinds of new meanings. Good call out. :)
"I thought Santa only came for the good girls" Oh. My. God. Who are you and this is fantastic and YES!! Pam absolutely knew what she was doing in that moment.
Have you ever envisioned a grown woman bouncing up and down, clapping about something she read? Well, that's what I did during that paintbrush/Yule log moment. "At least I stayed on theme" and wine went everywhere. bahahahaha!!
They fooled around in Ryan's office. Does it surprise you that I have Feelings about that?
Hey, so that whole paragraph from "Ugh, fine whatever" to "I'm Christmas music trash" to "words...they didn't need them" left me exposed and vulnerable and why are you putting my life in a paragraph. SO AMAZING! (And I make no apologies IRL for my music choices. Even that one...)
I asked for a PPC fight and I got a goddamn war and I am HERE for it.
Oh my god, that sweet flirty meaningful ending. I love it so much.
Hey, how do you think I feel about this fic, cause I'm not sure I was clear in my Opinions...
Pam and Jim just started dating, and Pam’s curious about Jim’s romantic past. He pretty much knows all about hers, such as it is, so it seems only fair.
1 I mean, that first line is a grabber. I love how, before he tells her, he contemplates that she is the "end of the line,"
Ha! And her "I'm waiting" in a sing-song voice is Every Girl and it is perfect!
1 I love a good spin-the-bottle story. Really. This whole slow burn of Jim's past is very intriguing.
But, if I'm honest, Beesly's whole "No, no, no this isn't about me" makes me think/hope/wish there's a companion piece about Pam????