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Always excited to see this updated! Why watch Love Island when I can read this instead?

10. Erin - I’m probably going to keep rank her last until her inevitable elimination because she brings zero drama. A hug? Really? The brother stuff’s kind of disturbing too.

9. Andy - Aside from a few side comments here and there, he’s not really doing much? Add yodeling to his singing and… dead man walking.

8. Kelly - Ugh, I hate bringing her down this low but… she had little to no screentime here. But I have confidence in the amount of drama she’ll bring.

7. Toby - Pretty sneaky of him to kiss Pam so I’ll give him plus points for that. Still, I think his days are numbered especially since his current partner has no problem dumping him the very first chance he gets.

6. Angela - I know Pam has talked about how she doesn’t know why she’s here but Angela’s the definition of “I really wish I was somewhere else right now”. She resents having to participate in all of these and I somewhat love her for it. But… she needs to up the drama.

5. Ryan - The accidental dick pic to his mom is not surprising. Probably the funniest secret here. Him trying to kiss Erin just shows the amount of potential he has. I hope he’ll last.

4. Dwight - Probably biased (and I bet Robert California loves him because he’s an easy target for animal references) but he’s so eccentric and has an alpha male syndrome that I bet he’ll rub so many people off the wrong way.

3. Karen - Scowls aren’t gonna get you anywhere. She needs to up her game and really stake her claim on Jim or she’s gonna burnt harder than a cheesy pita.

2. Pam - Unlike Erin, she’s shown that she can be nice and still play the game. I’m sure she’s not gonna waste her time here just being satisfied with her friendship… right?

1. Jim - I would have ranked Pam first but he then surprised me by then choosing Pam back to kiss. He’s the token “nice good-looking guy that everyone wants so drama will definitely follow him”. Him going to Karen first before Pam is definitely sending mixed signals and I am here for all the chaos.

Author's Response:

I think this is a lot more humane than real life Love Island. Although, MrsKHalpert is a very pushy beta who works me to the bone - send help. A very interesting ranking, unfortunately I'm not at liberty to discuss my views on each islander as it may spoil future chapters. I'm not sure why Angela's here, but I'm glad she is. 

Thank you for your review! 

Hey there fancy new YB. I’m glad even with the new changes in your life, you still have time to update this fic. And of course, being such an armchair expert of reality TV, here are my rankings:

ELIMINATED - Erin. (Canon note: Really shocked Andy went with Karen but not complaining) - She was not long for this game and I’m glad she was put out of her misery. Some people in the game aren’t there to make friends and she was there for exactly that so… good for her I guess?

10. Angela - A lot of the girls didn’t get a lot of screentime since it was all about the guy’s choices and Angela was pretty much just there. I’m glad Dwight saved her because she’s such a bitch in confessionals but… I need more from her.

9. Karen - Thank God Andy thought with his penis instead of his heart. That said, she’s been laying low the past few episodes. Come on, where’s the feisty woman who wanted to claim Jim the very second he stepped on the island?

8. Dwight - Sigh. I hate ranking him this low but he was overshadowed by the other four unfortunately. He’s still my favorite though.

7. Toby - Michael hates him for some apparent reason and as much as I loved him for saving Pam (not that he’s interacted with any of the other girls), he’s still one of the most boring people to watch.

6. Ryan - Going from Michael’s hatred to Michael’s obsession, we have Ryan. Clearly, he was thinking with his penis but… just imagine if he went for someone else. That would be so messy. Still, I can’t fault him since he might be the only guy who will pick Kelly and we need more Kelly in this show.

5. Katy - I’m not gonna fault her here. I mean what was she supposed to do? Pick Toby? I’m ranking her in the middle because of her potential to be a mess.

4. Andy - He’s so unpredictable and that’s the type of behavior that we want to see. Something tells me that he would have gone for Pam if she was still available. How amazing would that have been?

3. Pam - I think the game is getting to her and she’s unraveling quite a bit. Plus points for her since she’s taking it out on Jim even if he’s trying to do everything in his power to make sure they’d end up together. Will she catch a lucky break soon?

2. Jim - *sighs* It must be so hard for him to be so that every girl wants a piece of him. That said, drama seems to be following him everywhere he goes and that makes for perfect television. It’s clear who he wants but will he get there?

1. Kelly - And she’s back to reclaim her throne. Nothing screams TV Gold than threatening the new girl AND her “boyfriend” to pick her. She has managed to scare off just about everyone from Ryan and it’s amazing. Oh and making the Erin elimination all about her? *chef’s kiss*

Author's Response:

Always love your reviews... thank you!

Nothing but high praise for you. I’m so invested in most of these characters and I’m loving every second of it.

10. Toby - He continues to fade into oblivion as not a single soul (even the one he picked to save) is interested in him. I mean if a guy were to be eliminated soon, he’s a dead man walking.

9. Andy - His only saving grace is Toby’s just way way way way on the bottom of everyone’s list that he’ll manage to squeak by, but with no genuine relationships, I’m predicting a limited stay for him.

8. Katy - Aside from a line or two from her, we don’t really get to see what her game plan is. Is she still interested in Jim? Will she go for someone else? Who knows? Maybe she doesn’t know either.

7. Pam - I don’t think she’ll quit but come on. She needs to grow a pair and get nasty. Replace Karen’s suntan lotion with glue or something. This is Love Island, not Mope Around and Wait for A Guy to Save You Island.

6. Jim - Speaking of sulking, I’m only ranking him higher than Pam because I can see he’s trying despite Pam’s best efforts. And let’s face it, if he goes home, the cameras will have nothing to ogle at. I mean who are they gonna spy on working out at the gym? Definitely not Andy.

5. Angela - Oh, how nice of you to show up. She continues to not be infatuated with Jim (abs are an apparent turn off) and while I’ll deduct points for not participating in the contest, she’s at least nice enough to help out Pam. Or maybe she just hates Karen because of all that orgy experience.

4. Ryan - What a mess. I think he knows Kelly will never leave him so he’s trying out other girls. But he’s walking a very fine line. She might be so into him not but another hot guy might appear and well…

3. Kelly - She continues to be so iconic from her reactions to not being picked as the hottest girl to cussing out Ryan. She is casting gold and they are milking all the drama out of her.

2. Karen - I still haven’t ranked her first but she’s really an all-time great villain who I’m sure is being set up for a grand downfall. She’s very perceptive of Pam and she’s playing the dirtiest game I’ve seen so far. Unfortunately for her, she’s still hung up on Jim and it might be too late for her to realize she’s going to be hung out left to dry. Or not, she is the hottest after all.

1. Dwight - The only thing better than deliberately causing chaos is unknowingly causing chaos and Dwight is the perfect example of that. From threatening to hurt Jim (we wouldn’t want that now would we? Right? They are bird watching buddies after all) to getting chastised by production to objectively ranking the girls by hotness, I mean what more can you ask for?

Out of jellybeans so have a milk jug. Or Jim’s biceps.

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Welcome!! You’re gonna love it here.

So many quotable quotes here but this pretty much encapsulates everything Jim was feeling:

“In a few hours he, James Duncan Halpert, would have a date with Pamela Morgan Beesly. He couldn't stop smiling the entire car ride.“ — screw that VP job right?

Great job!

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Finally caught up with this while waiting for the midseason return of My Type on Paper.

The only thing greater than Jim being a cowboy is Pam being a prostitute. Add that to a dead father, a grieving father, and a traumatized Jim and you got yourself a recipe for success.

Come on Betsy, don't be such a prude. Let them have a go at it. Don't you want grandchildren?

Oh, and Roy getting beat up is always nice to see. Will we be seeing a good old classic standoff between the two?

Have a jellybean on me.

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Always a sucker for Dwim moments. Such a cute commercial for the two of them.

(quickly, in fine print mode) JELL-O does not condone workplace bullying. - Love the disclaimer.

Great job!!

Author's Response: I think people would buy Jell-O from them, for sure!

Lol, thank you. And thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Belated Happy Birthday Graceface!! Isn’t it amazing when you get fics like these when you wake up in the morning?

Pam really should have tried carrots. Didn’t Jim tell her? Cece prefers them over boobs.

I can feel the tiredness in this one. It’s only temporary right? It’s not like Jim’s gonna start a new business and spend half the week in Philly… right?

Author's Response: Well, that’s what friends are for huh? Or trolling them? I’m not quite sure. 

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Oh my God. I helped make this?? I'm so proud of me. I guess you did a good job too.

Ugh, Cece. Don't waste food. Major props to Jim for trying to grab a fish stick knowing it'll just end up on the floor.

Author's Response: I'm proud of you to, although I'm not entirely sure what for. But thank you. *Insert gif of Jim saying thank you for Pam's DVD*

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That's what you get for going to The Banshee Jim. *lightbulb breaks* Oh no.

Damn ghost. Just let him read his Men's Health in peace. Well, he might as well keep reading if he's not getting any sleep.

Author's Response: He might as well indeed. And what a magazine to read.

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Oh my God. *shudders*

You know what, it may not be everyone's cup of tea (because you know... spoiler) but I loved reading it. I'm not saying I'm sadistic. I just like reading these types of things.

You can see all the roads not taken and all the things that could have been. This is a great interpretation of how things between Jim and Pam could end in disaster. Let's all thank our lucky stars you weren't the showrunner. Kidding.

Have all my jellybeans.

Author's Response:

You're not sadistic? Are you sure??

Hate to break it to you, but I'm back to all things fluff now

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What’s wrong with his nose??

Author's Response: *shrugging Jim gif*

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What a Karen.

Author's Response: Totes

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Yay!! You're finally posting.

I had no idea Casino Night was a rite of passage here but no complaints! And wow, you made them have sex and he still leaves?? Wonder how that's gonna turn out since there's no debate: Pam actually cheated on Roy.

Can't wait for your update!

Author's Response:

Thank you <3 Wouldn't have done this without you guys!

Hahah it might not be a rite of passage but after reading so many, I felt as though it was. Hoping I can turn this into something as enjoyable as the other casino night fics on this site. 

I will do my best with the next update!