10 [Report This]Date: March 01, 2009 02:20 pm Title: Visibility
I absolutely loved this story. I'm glad it didn't end up in your "unfinished" file because it needed to be told.
What a wonderful and realistic twist on the original Beach Games.
I love that you added Toby to the mix. Even though you could have left him out and still told the same story, having him there seemed to subtly empower Pam even more. Genius!
I always enjoy reading your stories and loved the epic feel to this one. I'm glad it was a Oneshot because I don't know if I would have been able to stand the waiting if you had written it in installments!
Author's Response: Thanks Abigail! I'm happy to know you like my stuff. And that it wasn't too long--I wondered if I should break it up, actually, but I just...couldn't. As for Toby, I've always felt bad for the guy. What a sad, lonely character. Can you imagine looking at him and thinking that's where you're headed? Ouch. Anyway, thanks for the review! I appreciate it. :)
10 [Report This]Date: March 01, 2009 12:35 pm Title: Visibility
Nice job! When I first read the description with Toby mentioned, I thought "Oh, no! Pam's not going to do something with Toby, is she?" I was glad that didn't happen. ;)
You strike a good balance of want/need vs. explanation/closure. I like that Karen told Jim to decide once and for all; it seems very realistic and makes her a stronger character than if she just put blinders on after Pam's speech and tried to go on with Jim as before, which is what it seems they did on the show for a week.
Author's Response: Oh, goodness, I wouldn't do a terrible thing like that. I can't even read fics like that, let alone write them! :) I agree that Karen was made to look rather weak on the show in a way that didn't do justice to her character--this is better even if she's not the one he chooses, right? :) Anyway, thanks for the review TLK. It is muy appreciated!
Date: March 01, 2009 10:12 am Title: Visibility
Another one for the "favorites" list, dear!
I too, have a tough time watching BG because Pam having to watch Jim and Karen frolicking around just plain hurts. Love how you described that feeling as "a tight band". Perfect. The visual of her alone on the bus holding his jacket to her face was so heartbreaking and poignant.
Toby was well utilized here. I think seeing the two of them hanging out all day bothered Jim and was the factor that caused him to follow her home. He was definitely torn, confused and ambivalent, but the fact that Pam might actually be "moving on" in his mind, pushed him to go to her. Especially after her speech. He needed to know where he stood with her before he made another life-changing decision.
Seriously, you can write the Jam smut anytime. Nice, nice job on their "first time". I personally wasn't worried at all it would be a Pam/Toby fic, not with that purty "MA" rating. :)
Thanks for working through this idea and not leaving it in the "Fics to Write Someday" file. Off to reread!
Author's Response: This is a hard episode to watch, I think. I feel so much for Pam that day, excluded and belittled and miserable. Maybe that's why it's so powerful when she finds her voice and decides not to let herself be invisible anymore. And I always felt bad for Toby, too. Before he was turned into inappropriate-touching guy, he was just a sad man, living a life not unlike Pam's. Can you imagine looking at him and thinking that's what you were becoming? Yikes. Anyway, I'm so happy you liked it. I guess I'm over my nervousness about posting smut now. It'll probably take over all my stories in the future. :P And I'm glad you weren't deterred by the idea of it maybe being Pam/Toby... I keep thinking I should put a disclaimer on of 'don't worry it's not like that,' but, hey, they can read it through to get to the good stuff, right? :) Thanks for the review EverybodyHurts. Good to hear from you! :)
10 [Report This]Date: March 01, 2009 09:04 am Title: Visibility
Amazing amazing amazing. I've SO wanted a fic similar to this for a long time, and as usual you came and brought us the goods,,, and I loved it.
I love how he finally saw her in her two piece... and guh, it was just beautiful. How he got the answers he wanted from her, but when they were all snuggly in bed. And they both said ILY... THANK YOU.
I have missed your fics, they're like my drugs :)
Author's Response: Thanks Hannah_Halpert! Those two kids had a lot of things that needed to be said... in their own good time. I'm glad you liked it. But you shouldn't do drugs. ;) Thanks for the review!
Date: March 01, 2009 08:10 am Title: Visibility
What a great read! I love how Karen told Jim to make of his mind one way or the other...I've often wondered what conversation transpired between Karen and Jim that night. He was pretty firmly entrenched in denial at that time!
Author's Response: I've wondered about that, too. Must've been pretty awkward to have the guy's longstanding crush confess her love for him in front of everybody they knew. Thanks for the review jkfan! I'm glad you liked it. :)
10 [Report This]Date: March 01, 2009 07:56 am Title: Visibility
I have nothing to say except this story makes me die a little inside.
Author's Response: Ooh. I hope you mean 'die' in a good way. :)
Date: March 01, 2009 04:34 am Title: Visibility
This hits the perfect note, on so many levels...first, (always first!) the writing - I love how understated and quiet this is. The big emotions come through so much more vividly for the lack of melodrama, and the simplicity of the telling. I also think you've nailed the characterization (even Toby - by not making him into a cartoon sad sack, just, well...Toby. ;-) I also like that you've been faithful to canon, then detoured into an AU ending that felt like it easily could have been canon too (for me, that's often where AU fics lose it.) Love that in the end, Jim loves Pam both because she's brave - and - stupid. Perfect. And as for the steam - excellent dosage and real and mighty tasty. Well, I could ramble on some more, but I'll spare you;) Well done!
Author's Response: To have you mention the writing first is, of course, my greatest thrill. Thank you for that. And I know what you mean about AU veering off into something not-believable as a big problem with AU fics in general; it's why I don't usually go there. And Toby... poor Toby. Remember when he was just a sad character and not Evil Incarnate? :) Thanks so much for the review, Colette. This one kind of took it out of me... I'm glad you enjoyed it! :)
10 [Report This]Date: February 28, 2009 11:42 pm Title: Visibility
Meow! Glad to see a new story from you, Callisto! My heart always goes pitter-patter when I see that you've posted something. Honestly, I was a little concerned about where this was going, but I'm sure you would've warned us if it were Pam/Toby, plus as a huge fan of your work, I should have known better :-) Very excellent and steamy -- IMO, this is just the right length for a oneshot. Beach Games is honestly one of my least favorite episodes, even though I know we get the happy ending, but this was a good take on it. I love it when a fic can follow the canon of the episode, yet make the transition into a believable "what happens next" scenario. Excellent, as always.
Author's Response: Aw, thanks Mountaineers. I'm glad you liked it. I was wondering if I should make it more clear that this is not a Pam/Toby story, but I also like the idea of making people read it through without being sure. And I always wondered how Jim could have let days go by after that speech without seeming to have talked to her... so, glad it was believable. Thanks for the review! Good to hear from you! :)
10 [Report This]Date: February 28, 2009 11:14 pm Title: Visibility
This was great! I loved the way you depicted Jim when he showed up at Pam's, so broken and conflicted - I'm sure that, if we could've seen what he was truly feeling inside on the show, it would've looked something like that. I also liked how you incorporated Toby into the storyline without changing his and Pam's dynamic, or his ridiculous crush on her. I always feel sorry for him, constantly being overlooked (romantically) by Pam, but it really couldn't work any other way, I think. Anyway, looking forward to reading more of your stories, as always! :)
Author's Response: It's impossible not to feel for Jim, even if he was kind of being an ass. What was he supposed to think all that time? "Broken and conflicted" is exactly how I saw him, so I'm glad that came across. And poor Toby. Remember when he was just a sad character and not a creep? That's how I like to remember him. Anyway, I'm glad you liked this, thank you for the review! I really appreciate it. :)
Date: February 28, 2009 09:21 pm Title: Visibility
Wow. This story had me on the edge of my seat! I think I was feeling the uncertainty right along with Pam. I wasn't quite sure where it was going to end up. I'm glad it ended up where it did, though.
I really love the awkwardness and "perfectly imperfect" coming together of Jim and Pam. I also loved their late night chat. Heck, I just loved it all!
Fabulous work!
Author's Response: It has occurred to me that people might be thinking the story is going to turn into some Toby/Pam thing, and maybe I should've made that clearer, but in retrospect I'm glad it kept you wondering. Glad you liked it! Thanks for the review! :)
8 [Report This]Date: February 28, 2009 07:18 pm Title: Visibility
Yum! So much to love about this, the awesomely hot sex, of course, and "She’s still grinning when she looks back at Toby. “I’m sorry, what were you saying?”" I absolutely loved how you used that line here. And I liked how Karen told him to make his mind up. It always bothered me that there was no contact between Pam and Jim after her coal walk speech - so I'm glad this story addressed that. Great job!!!
Author's Response: Thanks kaystar! Poor Toby, just left hanging at the end there. But it had to be done. :) I'm glad you liked it, and I agree, the apparent lack of any meaningful conversation after her speech always bugged me too. Thanks for the review! I appreciate it. :)
10 [Report This]Date: February 28, 2009 07:09 pm Title: Visibility
I love everything about this fic. I love the way you capture Pam's longing and at the same time her resolute hope and perserverance. I love the image of them both waiting in the parking lot. I love the hope and sadness of Toby, the way he is a counterpoint to Pam's eventual happiness. I love the pacing. I love that it is a one shot but a good, long one-shot that you didn't rush. I love that you gave us a happy ending that felt real. Outstanding job, thank you for this.
Author's Response: brokenloon, your review makes me all kinds of happy. And I appreciate your recommendation on the boards, thank you! I was a bit leery of posting this as a oneshot since it's pretty long, but I am glad to know that the pacing worked and let it not feel rushed. I'm glad you liked it, thanks again for reading. :)
Date: February 28, 2009 06:46 pm Title: Visibility
Oooooooh my God. Hot. I loved it.
Poor Toby. But such sacrifices must be made! =) Great job!
Author's Response: Yes, indeed, poor Toby had to be tossed onto the fire. So to speak. Glad you liked it! Thanks! :)
Date: February 28, 2009 05:53 pm Title: Visibility
I'll have to come back and review properly when I've, uh, composed myself. Wow. (I say that a lot, don't I?)
Toby's 'beaten puppy-slash-trying to become invisible' look is exactly what Pam was heading for -- and I can see that being a catalyst for her to take action.
Aaand, the poor guy gets kicked again the next morning. Gah! (Let's hope he secretly got some rebound hate-sex from Karen or something).
Suddenly Altoids just got very sexy.
Author's Response: I know, poor Toby! It made me a little sad to have to do that to him, but, well. Sacrifices had to be made, right? I was thinking how much I used to like Toby before his crush got out of hand, and I'm glad to see people are willing to revisit the days when he was just sad and sort of pathetic instead of creepy. Glad you liked it! Thanks! :)
Date: February 28, 2009 05:41 pm Title: Visibility
Am I the first to review this? Yay! Well. You already know what I think of this amazing story. I'm so proud to have been a part of it, but really it's all you, my dear. You took the germ of an idea and came up with this wonderful notion of visibility and pointed out the parallels between Pam and Toby I probably wouldn't have thought about if it weren't for you. And I think the ending really is the best way to go. It's dark for poor Toby, but I'm so happy for Pam and Jim at this point. Oh, and the steam? Hot hot hot. I am skeptical when you say you don't have much experience writing it. ;-)
I'll let other people have their say now, but I couldn't resist taking one more opportunity to give you kudos!
Author's Response: Hello dahling! I'm so indebted to you for all your advice and suggestions, particularly with the ending. :) Poor Toby, eh? As for the steam... well, let's just say I may have toyed around with writing it, but never had the guts to post any of it. So thank you for the vote of confidence. And big hugs for all your help! Thanks!!
10 [Report This]Date: February 28, 2009 05:37 pm Title: Visibility
Callisto, I haven't been reading fic at all lately, but the promise of steam and your writing combined to make this one irresistible. And totally worth it. GREAT story, great writing, just ... great!
Author's Response: Hi wendolf! I'm not reading as much, either, but I had a great (if somewhat exhausting) time writing this one. Glad you liked it. Thanks for letting me know!
Date: February 28, 2009 05:36 pm Title: Visibility
callisto , I was just about to log off when I saw that you’d posted a new story…so glad I did, because it’s just lovely. I like that you have Jim unable to resist coming round to see Pam after her admission – the fact that he doesn’t do so in the show has always irked me. I know he was erm…for want of a better term, ‘emotional missing’ in season 3, but really, I don’t think he would’ve been able to stay away. I guess this might be a one-shot kinda deal but you know, if you’re so inclined, there may be scope for additional chapters…would love to see Toby’s reaction to the change in Jim and Pam’s relationship and I think you could ‘write the arse off’ a creepy Toby story. Great job! BA
Author's Response: Thank you BA! That always bugged me too--it always seemed so sad to me that he wouldn't have talked to her more after she finally 'fessed up to everything. I'm glad you liked this, it's been on my mind for a while now. I don't think I'll want to add to it, but it's funny you mention a 'creepy Toby' story. I have the beginning of one tucked away somewhere, maybe I'll look into doing something with it. :) Thanks for the review!