7

"This is a metaphor that his roommate Mark came to know well, with Jim’s response to questions about his day often being a simple, “Parking lot,” and an accompanying grimace."

Fabulous.  Love every word of the last section. Thank you. 

"Did I, umm, misinterpret?”

"I don’t think you did.  I don’t think you ever did."

Yay!!! Finally! I've needed to hear Pam redact that "misinterpreting" remark since the moment she uttered it. Thank  you! 

Oooo! The scavenger hunt that ends on the rooftop is THE BEST. I love it! Thanks.


Author's Response: I love your stories, so this is quite a compliment!  Thank you!

10

Lovely, sad and poetic. I'm a sucker for things like this. Thank you.

10

Outstanding! Thank you very much for this.

The coffee’s taking much longer than usual to brew.

Heh, heh, heh. And they SAY time flies when you're having fun. And these two are definitely having lots of fun.

“Mattress, boulder, bed of nails.”  Your shoulders.

Beesly! You naughty girl. Right on. :D

“Admitting it’s a sport’s the first step,” he replied

That sounds SO! much like Jim. 

And of course, who wouldn't love the last phrase:

...between friends.  Best friends.  The very best.

This was so well done. Thanks again. 

one morning they’ll walk in and Dwight’s desk will be in a giant bowl of jello

Oh. My. God. Someone HAS to write this. 

Thanks for this story. Nicely done. 

8

Liar. This cannot possibly be your first fanfic. For damn sure it isn't your first writing.

You got Jim: 

"...if you mean that alcohol brings out my deep and abiding love for the mall and sophomore boys, well then, guilty as charged.”

“That was a narrowly averted disaster there, Fillipelli.”

Travis song he's deleted and then put back on about five or six times, because he can't decide if he wants it on there or not.

You got Karen:

“You're gonna put on some of your indie bullshit,” she says.

"I know that you handle your liquor like a fourteen-year-old girl.”

"I swear to Christ, if you leave me in this shower by myself, I will tell everyone at the office that you like Sleepless in Seattle.”

It's all gold. I congratulate you on a first class debut. I hope you post more of your work. Thanks! 

"the waistbands of her nylons and her panties"

A woman who sets out to deliberately seduce a man is a fool if she wears anything but perfume or a tattoo under that little black dress. I mean, seriously, pantyhose? The modern equivalent of a chastity belt?

Jim gave her one of those lopsided smiles

God, how I love those smiles. Thanks for reminding me once again that the sexiest part of Jim Halpert is his sense of humor.

Jim laid back, unzipped his jeans and pulled them and his briefs off.

Congratulations. I believe you are the first Jamfuck writer I've read who didn't have Jim wearing those godawful boxer shorts like my grandfather used to wear. Jim in boxer shorts is like Creed in Spandex: total turnoff.

“Suicide attempt,” Pam suggested. “We can say I was distraught over having to spend New Year's Eve at Andy's and you talked me down off the ledge.”

These moments when Pam shows her stealth humor with Jim are the ones we love the most. Thanks for this. 

“Because you love me,”  

Now that was just a pure awwwwww moment. 

She was sort of looking forward people noticing she'd been up to something with Jim. 

Mmmm...no. I just don't see Pam as this much of an exhibitionist. She's a very private person.

“Tuna!” Andy shouted, “Get a room already!”

That line made me absolutely LOVE Andrew Bernard. 

This whole thing was fun, but I think you need one more run past a proofreader. There were several times when typos like  "One hair move upwards and entangled her fingers through his hair" pulled me out of the story, trying to puzzle out what it meant.

However, I think the ideas of the New Year's Eve party at Andy's, the Hawaiian shirts (how absurd on New Year's!) and the drinking game were completely on target. Thanks for helping us all get through the next few weeks...

Great Jan characterization: "She ignores it, keeps her head high and her heels sharp"

But I didn't agree with your take on Angela. I doubt she's a Catholic, she has too much of that Puritanical vibe about her. Also, no one in the office is committing adultery; at most, they're committing fornication. Angela would definitely know the difference. 

Yay, Pam! Yes, Jim was never your friend. He was courting you, woman!


Author's Response: There was wooing, and she didn't even realize it!

I can't quote my favorite line from this because I love them all. Maybe "a knowledge of all things Pam" is the best, but they're all great.


Author's Response: Wow, thank you! 

"she knew, or thought she knew, anyway, that he no longer even condsidered her a best friend"

Apart from the misspelling of 'considered', this sentence threw me out because you're talking out of two mouths. :)  On the one hand, we're in Pam's head, so we get her POV on this rumination. But when you say "or thought she knew", it sounds as if you are not really giving us Pam's thoughts. Is she really second guessing herself like this? "I know, but I only think I know?" I think what you're trying to do is prevent us, the readers, from thinking that Jim no longer considers her a best friend even though Pam does. You can't tell us that through Pam's viewpoint. She either does or does not think he has changed his mind about their relationship. Even if she's ambivalent about it, she's not going to be saying 'I know but I don't know'. 

My advice is to not worry about what we, the readers, might (ahem) misinterpret. You can make it clear in subsequent  narrative that Pam is or is not mistaken in her conclusion. The point is that you have to make us believe in what Pam is telling herself, and when you insert these little parenthetical "King's X" comments, it violates the POV.

Technical note: "They can't tell yet, it's too soon!" she said"

If what she gave him was an ultrasound photo, I should warn you that they can NEVER be really sure of a baby's sex from ultrasound. Any OB will tell her to wait for amniocentesis or other testing that accesses the fetus' DNA before painting the nursery.

I'm wondering what was in the velvet box Jim was giving Pam for Christmas....something shiny, I hope. :D

Lines/phrases I really liked: 

paralyzing awkwardness

Wordlessly, he thanked her with another kiss. (I'm partial to silent kisses)

They spent the rest of the Christmas party alone in the kitchen huddled over Pam's new art kit. I love Jim huddling with Pam any time, and his keen interest in her art is so adorable. It's so ... Tim and Dawn. Who I loved.

by the second week, Pam and Jim start thinking up outrageous ideas on how to make the music stop, including elaborate suicide plans.

I thought the idea of  "elaborate suicide plans" was hilarious. Would have loved to read some of them. :D

Like they never disconnected. Everything is possible.

I so miss, miss, miss that old connection. I want it BACK. Thanks for this.