Summer picnics, maps, rain...things change year to year. (No spoilers.)
10 This was wonderful, except for one thing--the picnic! I'd have loved to see the picnic. Spoon races? Volleyball? Le sigh. But I love the interaction over the map (forearm alert!), and Pam deciding it would be fine if they got lost together, and her realizatoin that she wants Jim to kiss her. Very nice.
And I want to *smack* Roy!
10 Wheeeeeeeeeee! Now that is a picnic, Colette! Loved the three-legged race.
‘This might finally be Michael’s chance to turn the egg toss into a mud wrestling match,’ he smirks instead. Yes, Michael would totally do that!
Her "I wanted to kiss you" and his "I wish you had"? Hottest lines EVER. Whoa.
‘I didn’t know how to be.’ Wah!
‘I can’t remember ever not loving you,’ Ooooh so romantic!
I love their "island under the covers" and her not being microscopic anymore. So beautifully done, Colette. As always.
10 I don't know how I missed giving you a review when this was first posted, but now I have another chance! Colette, this was one of your warmest, sweetest stories ever. I love all the snuggling, the shared universe of the two of them tuning out Kelly, the hand holding under the table, just all of it. The sex was wonderful and real, but the love was even better. Kudos, with cherries on top!
Author's Response: Really happy you said that, because - as much as I enjoyed writing the naughty bits - it's really all about the luuuurve. Have to admit, this story kind of owned me while I was writing it, so I'm particularly glad it worked for you. Multiple cherries? Wow. Thanks, as always, NEJ!!!
This is a transcript of The Newlywed Show, taped in December 2009.10 Technical note: I think you have a formatting glitch when Bob is explaining the concept of "whoopee" to Dwight.
I love Michael mangling the cow/milk metaphor. *snicker*
Ryan's "not as much as I'd like to, Bob" was hilarious.
I love Pam's "Too many years" and Jim's "The roof counts.". Damn right the roof counts. :D
"he’s too noisy during whoopee" Whoa PAM! Way to make Jim blush! I love this. So very "Newlyweds".
This is fun. Can't wait for Round Two!
Work was a lot more fun a year ago. Set mid-season three with the very vaguest of season three spoilers.
10 the office feels like a waiting room
Brilliant observation!
I love Pam planning her getaway to San Francisco via Google maps. Your observation that everything outside of Dunder-Mifflin has changed for Pam, but nothing inside has changed, is excellent and thoughtful. I really like the whole tone of this piece, and I feel you really caught Pam's pensive side. Congratulations.
10 Oh good Lord. This was so funny! The Cupcake Monologue! And I love your line "this Cupcake needs a little more sugar, if you know what I mean." Hilarious! Thanks for this "companion piece".
Author's Response: We couldn't let Maximus think he was the only one with something to say, could we?
A post-Beach Games fic. Some glimpses of what might've happened after the cameras stopped rolling (not that enough didn't happen while they were rolling...).
Spoilers through Beach Games.
Fantastic, as always. And I'm a sucker for poetry, girl7. Thanks for this!
Author's Response: Thank you so much, nej!
Inspired by the finale and the seasons that preceeded it. Enough said.
Sweet, especially the last two paragraphs.
Author's Response:
Thanks so much, NEJ!
"The truth is that I had plans with Creed tonight, and, well...."
I think it's funny that we both mentioned Pam's mythical 'date' with Creed in our stories--what is it about Creed that compels and repels at the same time? That guy...
I love her memory of the Casino Night kiss, and how it achieves "mythical" status in her mind. Yeah, our minds, too. :)
Looking forward to the rest of this!
Tell me about the Creed love, sister! I'm oddly drawn to that man, which disturbs me for so many reasons....
I can't help but think that after all this time, the CN kiss would definitely have attained mythical proportions in her mind. And yes - our minds, too. :o)
Thanks for reviewing!
Jim grinned, still looking a bit awestruck as he said softly, "Wow."
Aww. That moment is just so SWEET! Can't wait to read the rest!
Thanks so much, nej! (I love your icon over at the treehouse, BTW.)
Thanks again!
Post finale Jim/Pam. That's all I can say without spoiling people. 8 Ah. Snuggly!Jim. So, so sweet. Thanks.
10 Su-weet, unfold. I always love your work. I especially like the way you let Jim talk with his hands and body, like
She feels his laugh through her entire body and she tries to settle in even closer to him.
His chin against her hair tells her he’s nodding.
Jim's always been the kind of guy who expresses himself as much through face and body as through words. You capture that so well. As always, it was a pleasure to read this.
10 Now THAT is a breakup scene. Fantastic! I love how fumblling and helpless yet determined Jim is, and how we get the feeling that it all just kind of ebbed away between these two, that even Karen felt it and sort of just shrugged and walked away. Not much drama, at least on the surface, but lives are changed in a big, big way. And you do it all with so much subtlety, as always. Rich, powerful prose. I do so love your writing, unfold. Thanks again for another top notch story.
6 Sliding from Jammy deliciousness into ... ow! What a ride! But I loved all of it. And of course it would be Angela who interrupts them!
10 This is absolutely fabulous. I adore the juxtaposition of Jim's musings about sex with Pam next to his immediate concerns about traffic lights and speed limits (slow down, indeed!). I love his worry about whether he's a good guy or not; that is so true to Jim. He is a fairly decent guy, and for him to want to be a decent guy just makes him more so. He knows he's screwed up, but his heart is in the right place. I like his confusion and very male puzzlement about women ("Women are different.") and the sensitivity he displays re Pam ("Take it slow.").I also like the way the tension builds and builds the closer he gets to Scranton, and regardless of whether that line has been used before, your last two lines are killer. I even like the choppy style--it reads like poetry. Well done, well done.
Thanks so much, NEJ. I do think Jim probably has a self image of himself as a good guy that's important to him and would be taken aback when he reflects on the pain he's caused. And I do think that he was surely having some R rated thoughts on that trip back.
26 Begun out of hiatus frustration as an exploration of what we might miss of Jim and Pam's newfound romance, this has grown into something unique and cool, a multi-authored exercise in creativity and obsession.
By the way, we talk about it here if you're interested in saying hi.
You need to fix your formatting; the lack of a space after each period is distracting. Otherwise, this is fine work.
Toe to toe in Pam's kitchen! That is the sweetest, most Jam moment in this story. I loved it. And his "Booty music?" is funny.
Whoa! You TEASE! In the last chapter Jim tossed her on the bed, and in this one she walks him to the door? Wah!
I love how you had Pam doing her "Still me, Michael" thing when she transfers Jan's call to Michael. I love it when she's his buffer zone.
Angela and Dwight in the supply closet? Oh, tell me you've written a story about that! :D
Is there some arcane thing going on with periods in this story? This chapter has no periods at the end of dialogue sentences. I think there's a clue here...
Nice move with the fish earring, Jim.
"Interoffice relationships are a cancer in the workplace, destroying morale, hurting productivity, stealing all the covers and drinking all your booze,"
Great line.
And Pam's Dundie for Jim? Awwwww.
grasshoppers in his stomach
OMG what an image. Indelible.
Question: Why does Jim drive a Toyota in Chapter 2 and a Saab in this one? Or did I miss a memo?
9 how to wipe it all out, the other loves and the past hurts, the nights they'd both laid awake grieving for each other and those damn days they spent when hope lifted them, just to be stolen again.
What a fabulous summation of their history. And so sensitive of Jim to be thinking of her now like this.
ridiculous trappings as they were. Naked at birth, naked at death, naked too few times in between.
Poetry. Really lovely lines.
slipping his arm beneath her head so that he cradled her as they kissed
Nothing in the world is sexier than a gentle man. Wonderful imagery! As is this:
she could tell his scent in the air when no one else would smell skin, would smell Jim, would smell love....she moved her lips to his earlobe just to be near his pulse points, to press her nose in his hair, to hear him rumble in pleasure.
Finally, a hint of the sensual, artistic Pam! I do think you need to fix this, however:
She encircled her hardness
This is a truly original and stunning image:
She saw him beautiful in her hand, thinking of how as a girl she chose walking sticks in the woods behind her parents' house, testing their sturdiness and stability before she took them on the trails. I choose you, she thought, stroking,
God have mercy, what an image. And this:
his cheeks soft and mouth full of sweet things to say,
is one of the best closing images EVER.
This is some remarkably original writing. I really enjoyed it. Very individual, very interesting. I hope to see more. Thanks for this story.
9 Pam would save everything they had shared between them. This is one of the most romantic moments between them I've ever read--intimate, connected, making their shared history not only the bond between them but the bridge to their future. Is it crazy to say that it makes them seem simultaneously hot as new lovers but as comfortable as old marrieds? Yet it does.
Stroke of genius, that.
I laughed out loud at the idea of Jim "barking at the waitress to bring them their check". Don't know why, but it struck me as funny. :)
Since you know I love all your work, I hope you'll take this in good spirit when I say this is not one of my favorites. There's nothing wrong with teh sex, but it didn't read like Jim and Pam to me. It just felt like two other people. Particularly what I missed was any hint of love. It doesn't have to be schmoopy and sentimental, but I'd like to see something.
Anyway, that's just one opinion. As always, the writing is fluid and drew me right along. Thanks for sharing this.
8 I know what an excitable boy you are
That line just slayed me. Too funny! And perfectly Pam.
Ah, it's good to have Jim back. Thanks for a fine, funny story, Moxie!
We match perfectly, Jim thought to himself as he followed her.
FABULOUS line. I love this whole story. Confident!Pam! Confused!Jim who is also InLove!Jim. Lovely, as always.
Fanfic is a fun outlet for me after a long day at the office, but it's also a chance to work on some writing issues: character development, style, pacing. So thanks to anyone who gives me reviews!