10

Really great, obviously.  The characterization is spot on and the scenes all work, but what stood out for me is the quality of the writing itself--It's so flawless; there's not a word out of place, and your prose is stylish in an understated way.  And the sixers mom blog idea is a winner for sure, and very true to what Jim is about. 

Really, really great. 

10

Good stuff, I'm invested in this.  Although IMO Roy would not have suffieciently good musical taste to appreciate "Thunder Road."  More of a Motely Crue fan, I bet.  Your take on Pam's reaction is interesting...I guess I would find it suprising that it would hit her so hard to provoke that sort of reaction, but maybe.  I know if I were Jim I would NOT be pleased.    

Author's Response: Hmmm.  Maybe Roy's dad liked the song and Roy grew up hearing it.  I could see Roy liking the Crue more than the Cure, but he has pretty good taste in some area.  After all, he chose Pam in high school.  I know I'm walking a bit of a line with Pam's reaction to seeing Roy, and I thank you for the encouragement and the review!

10

Hmm, intriguing.  Loving the first person.  Having fun pretending to be Mr. Halpert?  Not quite sure where you're headed with it but I'm anxious to find out.

Author's Response: Hey Brokenloon!!!! Long time no talk! YES, I am really enjoying pretending to be Mr. Halpert. It is a lot of fun!  Thanks for being willing to go along for the ride! :-) 

10

Well then.  That was just fine.  One of my favorite chapters of any story, ever.  A few things...if they make a movie of this story, make sure they get John Mahoney to play Frank.  He'd be perfect, don't ya think?  I thought the first person thing was very effective; I think more people should use it in fanfic.  Things I especially loved...Frankie showing a little decency and Pam appreciating it...Frank being irascsible with his wife to the very end...Pam's "I'm thankful for you" (exactly what Jim needed to hear then).  Thanks so much for this. 

Author's Response: Brokenloon! You're so great! I ABSOLUTELY think John Mahoney would be perfect! We can imagine him in our heads, right?  I really wanted things to come full circle in that Jim really did have an effect on these people whether he realized it or not. I think that's so often the case in life...and I think even though his time with Frankie was minimal, I'm sure he had more of an impact than he could have ever imagined. Frankie emerging as somewhat of a responsible, contributing, member of the family could also allow Pam to realize that she doesn't have to be the one to take care of everything. Thanks so very, very much for such a thoughtful review!

10

Okay, so I have been enjoying this story a lot and have been shamefully neglecting to review it.  Also, I have a rule that any use of Springsteen lyrics merits a review.

This is very good storytelling in a way we don't always see in fanfic.  The focus is on the story, rather than generating a particular reaction in the reader.  It's not about happy fluffballs or heartwrenching angst, but about a story you want to tell.  I don't know if that makes sense. 

Also, in this particular chapter, I love the aspect of Jim needing to always fix things and Pam sometimes being frustrated by that.  I think that is a very realistic dynamic.  

So, great job on this.   

10

'Attagirl Pam.  Find that card!  I love this, the new version more than ever.  Espcieally loved your take on Pam's decision to get the teapot back.  Poor Jim....Can you imagine what Dwight would have said about that picture?  I'm glad to hear you have plans to finish it soon.  And Merry Christmas to you as well. 

Author's Response: Worse yet, what if Dwight read the card!!!  Seriously BL, thanks to your stellar beta job this piece is much much better.  So it appears I owe you for my very first ribbon!!!  Thank you.

10

I know you labored on this and I hope you realize how great it turned out.  I'm literally amazed by the job you did on Pam's card--it seems just perfect.  I believe Mr. Halpert will be a pretty happy man when he reads it.  This story is just a joy.   

Okay, I am officially pleading for Pam's life.  Why do I let myself read these angsty stories?  I always enjoy your work, but man, this is tough. 

Author's Response: It is tough. **sigh** If I write another story it is going to be the fluffiest of fluff, let me tell you, like light whipped cream, 30% less fat. :) I really, really hope you will hold on for this one, and thank you so much for your kind words about my stories.

10

Wow, this is pretty damn good.  Each chapter is better than the last, you seem to be finding your stride.  I'm guessing I speak for many when I say I'll be really excited to see the next chapter. 

I wish I was as good at sleeping in the car as them...I'm lucky if I can doze for an hour in the car.

Absolutely great and getting greater, thanks for this. 

10

This is one of my very favorite fics of recent months, I devour it the second I see an update.  You're doing an amazing job wiht the pacing and the balancing out of their love with complications in a realistic way. 

10

I loved your conclusion, and the chapter titles were a nice touch.  This is one of my all time favorite fics.  I really should have had to pay to get to beta it.  You, my friend, are awesome. 

10

I did enjoy, very much.  Big grin on my face and everything.  You created a neat character in Naomi; it was great seeing them through her eyes. Really great work with this, I hope you keep posting here.

Author's Response: Thanks so much, brokenloon! I was really unsure about writing these at first, but I think it got easier along the way. I am hoping that a new idea will come up soon, because I have really enjoyed writing these! I really appreciate your feedback, it means so much!

Outstanding.  Always great to see some new Colette.  I particularly loved this: 

Regardless of how positively the discussion began, inevitably everything she’d never done would swirl through the air between them. She’d never finished school; never driven a convertible; never learned to use a potter’s wheel. She’d never been to Paris.

I will definitely be excited to see exactly where you go with this.   Happy New Year to you.