Just a little introspection. I guess mild spoilers for Season 4 and the general concept of where things might be going for Jim and Pam.
10 Catie!
I think this is a stunning piece of prose here. You've managed, in just a few words, to really capture where Jim and Pam must be at this point in their lives, emotionally speaking. Jim needs to do some growing up, and Pam needs to figure out where she fits in those plans.
I've re-read this three times so far this morning, and I can forsee me coming back to reflect on this story more and more in the future. In fact, let's just send this to the writers and say "Guys? Take a look at this, in case you're concerned about where Pam and Jim are headed." :D
And that last line slayed me with brilliance. :D
Sorry I'm late in reading this, kev, but I'm going to try and make up for it now! ;)
If this first drabble is any indication, these are going to each be great. I really like the idea of everyone doing something nice for Angela, especially because I already get the feeling that nobody knows what the others are doing. And that's nice in its own way as well.
Great job!
Ha! Well, Pam's is really the nicest, in that it's one of the only ones that will take a chunk of time and was Pam's idea to do -- no one asked her, nor was it a spur of the moment thing like with some of them. ("Hmm...I can tell Angela where she can stick it, or I can be nice to the big pregnant woman. Tell her off...be nice. Tell her off...be nice.")
I had just finished (or was in the throes of) a big quilt project when I wrote the first chapter, so Pam became a quilter. I'm sure there are still unknown hobbies and characteristics of our characters, so I made one up here. ;)
I think this response is probably longer than the chapter, now.
Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, Cousin Mose! A million extra points for reviewing each one! :)
The thought of Angela Schrute ('cause let's face it: she'd never hyphenate her name) being all cookie-eyed with Dwight while preparing to bear his little beetlet makes me happier than I know what to do with.
In other news, I may not have gotten much sleep last night. Does it show? :D
Ha! I never get enough sleep. Regardless of amount of sleep (better than not), I do enjoy the thought of Angela and Dwight back together. And I do think it's possible that Andy would keep trying to win her back (for the sake of winning, if nothing else.)
I really hope we get some Dwangela soon. I love Andy, and I don't mind the little triangle, but it can't go on for too long (please!)
Jim takes a bullet for Dwight. There's something very poetic about that.
Jim: Aaand NOW we're even. :D
I have this theory that Angela's parents were hippies and that she was conceived in a VW microbus. She may appreciate Creed on a purely subconscious level, but probably has learned to suppress her subconscious to her will at this point.
Author's Response:
Interesting. But it's the Martin family who has the expression about Philly which translates to "check out the slut." I wonder if they were hippies who then became really judgmental religious people. There's an a cappella song by The Bobs called "First I was a hippie, then I was a stockbroker, now I am a hippie again." http://www.bobs.com/Lyrics.cgi?First_I_Was_A_Hippie_Then_I_Was_A_Stockbroker_Now_I_Am_A_Hippie_Again (I don't know if that will work)
So maybe Angela's parents are still in their "stockbroker" phase. They may even have known Creed 'back in the day.' As a matter of fact, keep this quote in mind: "In the sixties I made love to many many women, often outdoors, in the mud and the rain. And it was possible a man slipped in, and there would be no way of knowing." Creed may be Angela's dad, or he could be her dad's accidental lover in the mud. Brain bleach, aisle 4! ;)
I will never look at a tube of toothpaste the same way again. So, thanks a lot for that. :P
Author's Response:
Sorry. More brain bleach needed.
I was really just going for a chatty Kelly moment. I'm not sure Kelly would actually say any of that, now that I think of it. I think Kelly just has this idea that babies are awesome and she wants them right away with Ryan, but I can't actually see her thinking about labor and delivery and the constant care they need. She would probably find those things "not awesome." ;)
I'm guessing that list was filed in Pam's garbage can three seconds later, yes?
These are great!
No, no! The list is of the books Meredith used, so Angela can know what books not to look at. Obviously, Angela doesn't want her kid to grow up like Meredith's. So the nice thing Meredith did was making the list even though Angela had insulted her in the request for it. That may not have been clear enough. ;)
Thanks! I'm glad you're liking these.
10 And thus her decision to include Oscar in the PPC comes full circle. Very sweet. :D
Author's Response:
Oh, I didn't even think of that full circle thing. Um, I mean, exactly! I planned that full circle thing all along. ;)
This is the chapter that made me ask in the Word Challenge thread if it was okay to use the words out of order, because 'pineapple' fit logically later in the story, and not earlier (that was an early word). As it turned out, I mixed up the order every which way, although Table and End were the first and last prompts, and the first and last in my story.
I can imagine everyone catering to pregnant Angela as much as possible, just to avoid more unpleasantness than one can normally handle.
I don't even know Stacey, and I already miss her. Well, a mixture of missing her and being angry at her for leaving Kevin. Kevin needs a hug. ;)
Author's Response:
Well, Cousin Mose, someday I'll post the Kevin/Stacy fic I have half done, and it will be almost like being there. I'm sort of bummed they broke up, too. That was one good thing Kevin had going for him (well, two things - Stacy and her daughter), and now it's gone.
Someone wrote a nice fic recently about the children from TYDTWD seeing the documentary. It's definitely worth checking out if you haven't seen it, and it has Stacy and her daughter in it.
Is there any color Angela doesn't find whorish? :D
This little act of kindness on Phyllis' part makes up for the semi-snarky version we've been seeing lately. Oh, if only "real" fiction could be like fan fiction...
Any color Phyllis is wearing is whorish. It's well-established. ;) I enjoyed your shout-out to Angela and green in the latest chapter of Fogg, by the way. Funny. :)
And yes, Phyllis lately? Not necessarily a friend to anyone but herself.
10 Awww... Now i want Kevin to hug Angela. Even though I know she'd bristle and freak out. Or maybe because I know that. :D
Author's Response: Kevin is just trying to make it through the accountants' meeting so he can have a break. Sometimes he just sits and waits for the break. Also, there are some perfectly good M&Ms at his desk waiting for him. This isn't the time to disagree with Angela (except by mouthing words.) ;)
10 I can see Michael acting exactly this way around a pregnant Angela. And way to bring back NotCrazy!Jan. I miss her. Like, a lot.
Author's Response:
Yes, I could see this kind of moment with Michael. Remember when Hannah brought in her baby in The Convict?
Michael: [climbs under desk] Hey, look at me, I'm a baby! I'm one of those babies from "Look Who's Talking." What am I thinking? [Laughs] Look at all those staplers! What's a stapler!? I don't even know, I'm a baby! Hey, Mom, I'm thirsty! I'm thirsty, Mama! I want some milk. And you know where milk comes from! Breasts.
Yeah, he's so mature!
I miss the not crazy people, too. [whispers] "I see crazy people!"
10 And way to bring back NotCreepy!Toby as well! *sigh* Y'know, reading this makes me realize I'm not thrilled about some of the choices the show has made lately.
Or maybe i just read and write too much fic. ;)
Yes, when I finally got around to thinking about posting these, I realized how many changes had occurred -- thus, the disclaimer on the first chapter.
But I preferred thinking of them all this way, anyway. Last year, there was a lot of talk about character assassination with Jan, and instead of having her access her non-crazy side, they went the other way. I can accept that now.
But Toby's over the edge now, and Kevin and Stacy have gone from engaged to split up in a bad breakup... sigh. And Jim the sales guy who knows the vending machine guy, and a firefighter on the scene at the fire, and an old teacher at the high school suddenly doesn't know the name of a guy who wears a nametag and he sees daily. Mmm-kay. The changes are making my poor little brain tired. ;)
10 And thus we see the great secret about Michael Scott: that for all his insanity, he has his moments of clarity and rational thinking. And it's those reasons for which we love him.
Great job on all these! Very cute and sweet.
Yes, I thought it was fitting to end with Michael, and with Angela in labor or having delivered. And driving the laboring mom and the nervous/crazy dad to the hospital is a Nice Thing.
I'm glad you liked these, Cousin Mose! I only left out Rescue. My 'rescue' possibilities stank. ;) I was just sort of sticking the word 'rescue' in where it didn't fit. That would be fun for no one.
This turned out to be a fun little challenge to do, but it's disappointing that there are only 3 stories actually posted for it so far. Then again, other people may have realized their stories were outdated and decided they didn't want to bother. I dislike 'wasting' the writing effort, so I tend to go ahead with those things.
Anyway, it was so nice of you to review each chapter so we could have this little 'conversation.' I love the opportunity to talk via these reviews and responses! Thank you so much for the support, Cousin Mose! :)
Jim's been acting a little strange these days.9 So, I'm really glad I decided to give this story a try. I think you've done a really good job of giving us a nice Pam POV here. I like these sort of largely introspective pieces where we can see and hear what a character's thinking throughout the day. And I think your Pam voice, in this case, is very nicely done.
Also, a million extra bonus points for an MST reference! :D
Some talking heads that take place right after the meeting called by Ryan in Night Out.10 Knocked every one of these out of the park, swedge. And I have to agree with Kelly, especially after DIS: I hope someone does "2.0 punch Ryan in the heart." :D
Hilarious stuff. Nice job.
10 Wow! This almost snuck under my radar, and I'm so glad it didn't. I have to say that this reminds me of when my wife and I moved into our first apartment after getting married. It was exactly like this, and this little vignette made me smile like you wouldn't believe.
And how many good things can be said about that last line? Not nearly enough, in my opinion. It's perfect.
He would close his eyes and remember their time apart, concentrating on it, trying to feel it. Just when he started to connect with the empty feeling, he would open his eyes and look at her sleeping beside him, and slide close enough to her so he could feel her breath, and feel nothing less than a sort of joy.
10 I only have one complaint: that you're not cranking out new stories every week for us to enjoy. (I kid. Not all of us are machines like CH :P).
Seriously, though, this is a fantastic piece of prose here. It's short, but it's so poignant. (Please, no TWSS moments...) The brief glimpses of the one-sided phone conversation are a brilliant move. They tell us everything we need to know--and then some--without really telling us anything at all. I'm still trying to figure out how you did that.
Excellent work.
"Well apparently, for two people who like to talk, we aren't very good at communicating." Fantastic first story! I never would have guessed it was your first, however. This has the tone and maturity of someone who is very comfortable with their craft.
You've done a great job in giving us just enough of the characters, while still allowing us, the readers, to fill in the blanks ourselves. As a result, it's a very satisfying read.
Hope to see more from you soon! Congrats on a great story!
10 Nothing sums up CorporateToolRyan more than the idea that he has a subscription to the New Yorker and never reads it. I suspect that definition applies to roughly 95% of their subscribers. ;D
You know my thoughts in detail about this already, so I'll just give you another round of applause here and say how nice it is to see you writing more often these days. ;)
*Finale Spoilers* - What I believe happened after the fireworks and before the scene by the copier.
10 Now, see... this is completely what I expect happened while monkey and possum were up in the office engaged in the throes of beet love. (Oh, I'm sorry... that was... an overreaction. :D)
In all seriousness, though, this feels the most like what the tag on the end of the episode should have been. I, personally, don't need the fireworks and jelly beans and grape sodas either. I prefer the quiet, honest moments with these two; the ones that sneak out when they think the cameras aren't watching.
And that's why you're so awesome, xoxoxo. Because you get that about them.
And it's also why I wish this was how things went down.
Looking back - I might have been a little melodramatic. Some really good points have been made lately - but I'm still sad that Pam's sad.
Here's hoping Halpert had a Plan B.
And thanks Mose. I'm glad you liked it. :)
10 Oh, Catie... I like you. :D Love the imagery here, the way you play with colors and textures and emotions and...well, yeah. Everything.
I believe it's only a matter of time for Jim and Pam as well. ;)
Excelent job!
You had forgotten that this parking lot was haunted.
A bit of Jim's introspection after Toby's party. Spoilers for the finale, obviously.
10 Absolutely breathtaking. You've managed to pack an enormous amount of emotion and thought into such a small space. It's as though there isn't a single wasted word here. Excellent job.
(Small thing, though... I'm pretty sure you meant "exorcise," although I'm sure the ghosts like to stay in shape as well... :D)
Thank you!
(Heh, thanks. Fixed!)
Very sweet. :D And hey, I'm all for spontaneous proposals in odd locations. I proposed to Mrs. Mose in the parking lot at Wal-Mart, near the Jamba Juice. (okay, so it was sorta planned, but not really.) Anyway, seven years later, I think we might give your sister and her husband a run for their money in the dork department. :D
Anyway, this little moment between Jim and Pam really is quite sweet, and quintessentially them, y'know? I think your dialogue sounds accurate, and it's moments like these where we see them acting like we know they should, when we remember why we write in the first place.
Nicely done.
The Season Five Premiere in Script-Fic.
With office morale at a seemingly all-time low, Michael attempts to save the day with a new idea that is sure to bring happiness to everyone. Meanwhile, the couples of the office, and those who aren't quite there yet, react to the events of the Fourth Season Finale, "Goodbye, Toby."
10 I admittedly haven't been reading much newer fic lately--outside of those submitted for moderation--but I wanted to tell you that I thought this was absolutely amazing. I wish more people would try the script format. It helps fill the void of not having the show around. :D
In terms of writing and characterizations, you've nailed it. I dare say that the characters sound more realistic here than I've heard them on most of S4. ;) Great balance of humor and tension, but never going too far with one or the other. That's a delicate line to walk, and I think you managed it perfectly.
Thank you for writing this, as it's helping to reignite my own will to read and write fic. :D