10 [Report This]Date: June 02, 2008 06:30 pm Title: Air and Water
Oh, hell yeah. Now that's what I'm talking about. Vivid and perfect, and also sweaty Pam in cut-off shorts. I don't think I could possibly love it any more than I do.
Author's Response: It's only fair - a little sweaty Pam to balance the mega dose of sweaty Jim ;-) So pleased this did the trick for you brokenloon - and thanks, as always!
10 [Report This]Date: June 02, 2008 06:07 pm Title: Air and Water
Over?! But it just started! Colette, this was so joyful, so vivid. I especially love the image of the engagement ring hanging from a chain around her neck. Thank you for this.
Author's Response: No, thank you NanReg! Vivid and joyful are such lovely compliments...so happy you thought so.
Date: June 02, 2008 05:53 pm Title: Air and Water
You should know that I love every single thing you write. You always manage to capture the true essence of these two characters better than pretty much anyone else I've ever read. And your ability to take these singular moments and flesh them out completely until they're vivid and real and rich and utterly satisfying.
And, God, that image of Pam in her bra all sweaty with the engagement ring on a chain? One of the most fantastic images I've ever read in fic. Completely hot and sweet all at once. The perfect expression of both their seemingly insatiable sexual desire and their relentless love for one another.
You are truly my favorite writer around here. I want to live inside your stories....or maybe something less creepy? :/
Author's Response:
I'm speechless...this really means a lot, especially coming from you, unfold. As you may know from my reviews, I'm a huge fan - love how your fics are always so subtly nuanced and delicate, yet pack a big emotional wallop. And also the clarity of your language, how true the characters are. I love writing that can be big by being small, if that makes sense.
But back to me, lol....yes, I wanted that bra/ring scene to convey that very connection/depth of feeling, without them having to say it. So, yay for picking up on that! And so pleased you thought the characters were captured here - I'm much more about that than plot, so it's great to hear when it works. Anyway, back at you about everything you said about my writing...and clearly, I'm not as speechless as I thought. (And 'creepy?' Not at all. Just very, very generous.)
Date: June 02, 2008 05:41 pm Title: Air and Water
I'm dead with joy. It might have started because in the other firefox tab Jim just said "I'm going to propose tonight" with that precious little boy grin.
But I know for a fact it's mostly because of this perfect ending to this perfect little piece. I loved Pam wearing her engagement ring on her neck, it's so FNB of her...also I love that she has an engagement ring at all...hehe.
Yay for sweaty summer in NY fic!! I think this hiatus might acutally be bearable this year :o) I appreciate your contribution.
Author's Response: My pleasure, m'am ;-) I guess there are worse ways to go than dying of joy - and I can't think of a more joyful moment than that TH. Thanks so much, PamPongChamp - I'm happy this made you happy!
10 [Report This]Date: June 02, 2008 05:40 pm Title: Air and Water
WOW - that is one of the hottest, most passionate, entertaining and well written chapters of JAM fanfic I have ever read.
Awesome Colette
Author's Response: Wow back at you - that's quite a review! I really appreciate it - thanks, jinx!
10 [Report This]Date: June 02, 2008 05:22 pm Title: Air and Water
WHATT? That's it?
You make me very sad.
Because not only did I thoroughly enjoy this but it was helping me put off studying for finals...
Did I mention the part about being sad?
Despite my new sadness, I loved it.
Mad props, word to your mother, etc. etc. ;-)
Author's Response: Sorry to make you sad - please forgive me. But glad you enjoyed, thatswhatshesaid. I thank you - and so does my mother. ;-) (Now go study for your finals!)
Date: June 02, 2008 05:21 pm Title: Air and Water
As always, beautifully written, sweet, funny, and really vivid. Lots of great lines, of course. I love how the a/c makes it not really cool per se, just less hellish, and how awkward Pam feels explaining her ring being on a chain.
That said...it's over?! Say it ain't so! :)
Author's Response: I love 'vivid.' And reading your wonderful comments. Thanks so much, callisto. But, yeah...it's so. This fic was just conceived as taking place during that first evening. But there may be other Brooklyn fics - Fort Greene is an inspiring place, lol ;-)
Date: June 02, 2008 05:12 pm Title: Air and Water
Good God, woman, you are trying to kill us! I bet Jim is a beautiful mess. Getting pizza while barefoot & in jeans. Gah!
Love that her bathroom is smaller than their closet. That was my first hint that that engagement ring had been properly presented to Miss Beesly. And of course that she wouldn't want to take it off.
I cannot tell you how refreshing it is to read a description of Pam's classes and her work that is written by someone who knows what she's talking about. (If I read 'Pam's Art' one more time, I think I'm going to poke myself in the eye with vine charcoal.)
Now, if the heat of summer inspires you to write more Brooklynpalooza, you know where to find me.
Author's Response: Yeah, I wanted to make their engagement, etc. almost an incidental fact, not a melodrama - so that closet thing was a subtle hint. I was worried it would go unnoticed - forgot who I was dealing with, lol. And re: writing about 'Pam's art' - I guess all those years of art/design school are finally paying off...I knew there was a point to all that work ;-) Thanks, as always, Lisa for being the most supportive reader evah! I think I have one more B'lyn fic in me - so maybe a mini-palooza.
Date: June 02, 2008 02:31 pm Title: Early
I love your sensory details here! And Jim's voice is so palpable. Great job and I can't wait to read more!
Author's Response: Thanks so much bebitched! As you know, when you write you try to hear and see and feel the character in your mind, but knowing it actually worked for someone else is always a thrill - and a bit of a surprise. Really appreciate it!
10 [Report This]Date: June 02, 2008 08:16 am Title: Early
Being from Brooklyn, it's a real treat to see details of my hometown pop up in relation to one of my all-time favorite shows. I NEVER thought the name Dekalb Ave. would pop up in an Office fic. Great story! Next thing I know Jim and Pam will be eating at Juniors and riding the D train. Brooklyn is getting some props at last!
Author's Response: Yeah, who'd have thunk it? Funny you should mention it, cause I'm playing with another little Brooklyn based fic and there's a scene on the subway - and since they're supposed to be returning from Chinatown, the D would make sense. (There'll be some other local color too.) This fic won't get too heavily into specifics, but I have to say, it's been nice to easily be able to picture the setting (my knowledge of Scranton is pretty much zip) while visualizing the story. Anyway, thanks so much kgreene - glad you're enjoying this!
Date: June 02, 2008 06:55 am Title: Early
Nice. Having done the long-distance thing, I know exactly the feeling, and you display it here succinctly and powerfully. Also, I am in love with this line: This belonged to her, not him.
Author's Response: Hey there! Good to see you (is the bambino here yet?), and so glad you're liking this. That line was a last minute addition - I just thought Jim would be respectful of not intruding on her experience by staying, as much as he wanted to. Anyway, thanks so much, nqllisi!
Date: June 02, 2008 05:54 am Title: Early
Great beginning and I can't wait for Pam's side.
Author's Response: Thanks, gotkona! Stay tuned!
Date: June 02, 2008 03:21 am Title: Early
I love everything you write and so before I even started to read this story, I was in that warm and happy place. Fellow reviewers have already mentioned some of your beautifully written lines and I really can't add to what's been said. What I do want to say though is that Jim’s sense of urgency and his need to be close to Pam really leapt off the page/screen for me. It reminded me of a relationship I had in my early twenties when I would spend my entire Friday at work clock-watching and on the stroke of 5, I would hightail it out of the building and make my way over to his place. That summer seemed to last forever (did I just channel Bryan Adams?!) and well, I’m hoping you have a change of heart and that this story lasts just as long.
Author's Response: I'm really pleased you thought his sense of urgency/missing her came across - I know just the feeling you dexcribe and that's exactly what I hoped to convey. This story already has a beginning and an end - but, I have an idea for another Brooklyn thing, so Thor and work willing, I'll squeeze a little more life out of Pam's summer in the big, baked apple. Thanks so much, Blind Assassin!
Date: June 01, 2008 10:11 pm Title: Early
I love this already...the only thing that was wrong with it was that it clearly was NOT long enough :) Can't wait for more!
Author's Response: Well, more coming soon...so I hope that remedies the situation ;-) And that it doesn't disappoint. Thank you so much, honeypioneer - glad this is working for you!
Date: June 01, 2008 08:27 pm Title: Early
WTH? I could have sworn I had reviewed this already. Damn computers trying to drown me in a lake. Now I have to be coherent again, with the image of sweaty!Jim drinking a cold beer on Pam's front stoop. Much more enticing than kelp sludge & 97 grains of whatever.
God is in the details (or so I hear), so let Pam give lots and lots of details of how the rest of the weekend goes for them.
Author's Response: No need to be coherent on my account ;-) And fear not, Pam will soon be appreciating all Jim's details. Thanks so much, Lisa...hey, think there's such a thing as kelp beer? God, I hope not.
Date: June 01, 2008 08:21 pm Title: Early
Colette, I absolutely love your style. Everything you write is so vivid and gorgeous and perfectly phrased. There are really too many great lines to cite them all but these stood out particularly:
For the first time, he allows himself to give in to the full brunt of missing her, of anticipating weeks of missing her.
It’s been a long, lonely, sleepless, can’t concentrate, fuck I need to touch her week.
And I loved this description of the city heat:
It feels thick and liquid, like moving through hot viscous soup.
Isn't THAT just spot-on for NY in the summer!
I eager await Pam's additional "details"!
Author's Response: Ah yes, city heat...am I insane that I've always liked NYC in the summer, lol? Anyway, I really appreciate your kind review, callisto - thank you so much!
10 [Report This]Date: June 01, 2008 07:05 pm Title: Early
Well, colette, of course you must know by now that you know you just made my night with this. My only complaint about anything you write is that there is never enough length for me (TWSS!). When I saw that little row of asterisks I turned into my 7-year-old son when he has to leave a friend's house: "Aw, Man... Already?" Please write more. Of this story, of another, I don't care. Just keep writin'.
Now, for the story -- sweaty Jim, beer bottle to the neck, etc.? Perfect. And lines like the ones everyone has already mentioned and these:
badly-in-need-of-a-cut hair whipping around until it was a cartoon version of itself
And this whole bit:
But on the cusp of actually seeing her, these last few minutes seem as excruciatingly static as the muggy air hanging heavily around him. For the first time, he allows himself to give in to the full brunt of missing her, of anticipating weeks of missing her. It’s like biting down on a toothache, so when he stops the relief will seem that much more exquisite.
Excellent as always. Can't wait for the juice. ;-)
Author's Response: Aw, you're sweet...but, warning: don't let your seven yr old read the next chapter, unless you're ready to have 'that' talk with him ;-) You know, I really did imagine Jim as a cartoon character with crazy messy hair, lol. Anyway, thanks, as always, wendolf - hopefully more coming your way later today.
Date: June 01, 2008 07:05 pm Title: Early
bah! why did it stop? you need to continue this...like quickly.
Author's Response: More soon, I promise! Thanks, fashion_show, glad you're enjoying.
10 [Report This]Date: June 01, 2008 06:50 pm Title: Early
I am having a PMS from hell day and this helped. A lot. Can't wait to hear Pams point of view. Awesome job, as always.
Author's Response: Sucks about the PMS, but glad this helped! And thanks, WalkInLove - really appreciate the kind review!
10 [Report This]Date: June 01, 2008 05:17 pm Title: Early
So I spent the day painting my home office (you know, an upstairs "bonus" room above the garage that's not really air conditioned but looks amazing when painted a relaxing shade of lavender and filled with terrific books....?). In any case, as I painted, I was mapping out my summer schedule in my head: 8-10, read for work; 10-12, class prep and grading; 2-5, catch up on reading and -- more importantly -- reviewing fic.
But I happened to see that you'd posted a new one and couldn't wait to read/review 'till tomorrow afternoon.
So I'm reviewing as I go, lest I neglect to comment on something awesome....
"Hurrying home just meant being one more place that she wasn't." This is one of the things, IMHO, at which you absolutely excel: You have a way of perfectly articulating the subtle nuances that make up the soul of a relationship, and even though you keep it simple, the prose reads like poetry. Just lovely.
The description of his too-long hair (ahhh) blowing in the wind made me think of clips I've seen of him driving from "A New Wave." Delicious.
"Ninety-seven grain bread" made me laugh out loud, as I find myself constantly scouring the labels before I buy bread -- "5 grain...no, there's better than just 5 grain...whole grain -- well, that just sounds suspect; why not clarify how many grains....? 9 grains -- aha! That's it...." Totally ridiculous, but there it is. :o)
Loved the beets in the smoothie exchange -- "The Schrutes will stop at nothing less than world domination" -- amen to that, sister. I can see Mose now with an innocent-looking Smoothie Stand, 5 cents a glass....
I would like to formally thank you for the image of Jim Halpert holding a cool beer bottle to his neck. :o)
So once again: A lovely first chapter (and can I tell you how thrilled I am that this is the first chapter?? That there'll be more???).
You are awesome, my friend, as always. :o)
Author's Response: 'Soul of a relationship'...I like that! And if anything even remotely like that comes across, I'm thrilled. I'm sorry about messing up your impressively organized schedule, but flattered. ;-) Oh, and if you're air conditioning challenged, I think you'll relate to the next (final) chapter. Wink, wink. So, stay tuned. Many thanks, my friend - you know I always love hearing from you! (PS that beer bottle image - yup, wouldn't get out of my head. Figures you'd like that one too ;-)
9 [Report This]Date: June 01, 2008 04:37 pm Title: Early
Ahh, I love this. (Also I have totally had smoothies that looked like sludge and that was EXACTLY the word I used to describe it. But I still drank it. And kind of enjoyed it.)
There is so much I love about this. The part about him hurtling in space towards her killed me dead.
Great job! Can't wait to see Pam's side!
Author's Response: Tell you a secret - that little vegan place actually exists. Though, I didn't have one of their sludge smoothies...let's pretend ;-) I'm glad you cited that line (hurtling through space) - kind of liked that one myself. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, bashert.
10 [Report This]Date: June 01, 2008 04:05 pm Title: Early
Oh, Colette, you'll be back soon, right? I so love this tasty morsel: It’s been a long, lonely, sleepless, can’t concentrate, fuck I need to touch her week. More, more, more!
Author's Response: Should be soon...after not writing fic for months, I'm suddenly on a roll. Go figure. And he is a tasty boy, isn't he? Thanks, as always, NanReg!
10 [Report This]Date: June 01, 2008 03:43 pm Title: Early
so great.. i can't wait for more!
Author's Response: Much thanks chellielle. I won't keep you waiting long!
8 [Report This]Date: June 01, 2008 03:42 pm Title: Early
Nice work! I really enjoyed it!
Author's Response: Thank you, Dwangie - glad you enjoyed.
10 [Report This]Date: June 01, 2008 03:17 pm Title: Early
Longer and juicier? t.w.s.s. But you knew that already.
I can't wait for the next chapter. At the risk of sounding like a kissass, its pretty much perfect.
Author's Response: Would you believe that TWSS only occurred to me after the fact? True. And you don't sound kissass, cause telling me that will get you nowhere - except making me very happy. Thanks much, thatswhatshesaid.