Penname: HemlockMartinis Real name: Matt Ford
Member Since: January 10, 2007

Bio:

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Reviews by HemlockMartinis
Summary: Past Featured StoryWhen gods want to punish us, they grant us our wishes.
Categories: Jim and Pam, Alternate Universe
Characters: Jim, Jim/Pam, Pam
Genres: Romance
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 6 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 13048 Read Count: 18035 ePub Downloads: 3
[Report This] Published: October 08, 2006 Updated: April 14, 2007
Reviewer: HemlockMartinis Signed
Date: January 31, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Oh my, this is awesome beyond words. Although I loved Pam's realizations, the unique Creed interpretation was easily the best. Please update it soon!

Summary: Pam takes care of Jim's injuries after the "friendly" game of Dunder Mifflin basketball. Part One of the series "Am I What You Need?"
Categories: Present, Jim and Pam, Episode Related
Characters: Jim, Jim/Pam, Pam
Genres: Workdays
Warnings: None
Series: Am I What You Need?
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 661 Read Count: 2866 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: November 16, 2006 Updated: November 16, 2006
Reviewer: HemlockMartinis Signed
Date: February 04, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: The Magic Tide Pen

For some reason I can't get to the story...

Summary:

Not for the faint-heartened - extremely dark Jim. Having read a self-help book on "moving on and getting on with your life" Jim Halpert starts a journal to get over Pam.


Categories: Jim and Pam, Present
Characters: Jim/Pam
Genres: Angst, Inner Monologue, Steamy
Warnings: Adult language, Explicit sexual content
Series: None
Chapters: 2 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 900 Read Count: 6342 ePub Downloads: 1
[Report This] Published: January 10, 2007 Updated: March 04, 2007
Reviewer: HemlockMartinis Signed 7
Date: January 10, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - Her stupid spoon

This is definitely one of my more favorite ideas I've heard recently. I'm looking forward to further installments into the subtle sexual innuendo between the two of them.

Author's Response: There will be future installments but they will be slow and intermittent. This is an exercise for me in writing angry. I'm not very good at it. Now comedy...I can write comedy all day long!

Drunk Dial by LadyLuck Rated: T [Reviews - 56] 12
Summary: Jim calls Pam back after receiving her text on the night of the Diwali festival. And yes, he is still very drunk.
Categories: Jim and Pam, Episode Related
Characters: Jim/Pam
Genres: Drunk Pam/Jim
Warnings: Adult language
Series: None
Chapters: 9 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 14302 Read Count: 34817 ePub Downloads: 5
[Report This] Published: January 10, 2007 Updated: February 13, 2007
Reviewer: HemlockMartinis Signed
Date: February 13, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This chapter single-handedly made me change my opinion of Kelly from "lukewarm" to "omgawesome".

Summary:

A series of drabbles, set after Back From Vacation (with some slight spoilers) and deviating from there. Pam makes Jim face the same difficult decision (and consequences) that she had to deal with.

Each drabble is 100 words according to MS Word, so if the summary says otherwise...it's lying. :0)


Categories: Jim and Pam, Present, Episode Related
Characters: Angela, Dwight, Jim, Jim/Pam, Karen, Pam
Genres: Angst, Drabble, Fluff, Humor
Warnings: Adult language, Mild sexual content
Series: None
Chapters: 100 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 9891 Read Count: 383039 ePub Downloads: 12
[Report This] Published: January 23, 2007 Updated: February 23, 2007
Reviewer: HemlockMartinis Signed
Date: February 09, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: Application

I finally got around to reading this (60+ chapters scares me) and now I'm kicking myself for not starting earlier. How you can compress so much into so few words is beyond me, but it works, so keep it up!

Summary: What if, instead of the booze cruise, Phyllis was right about the whole office heading to Florida? Jam! Dwight in a Speedo! It doesn't get better than this!

Categories: Jim and Pam, Past
Characters: Ensemble
Genres: Travel
Warnings: Adult language
Series: None
Chapters: 13 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 21362 Read Count: 43776 ePub Downloads: 1
[Report This] Published: January 30, 2007 Updated: July 05, 2007
Reviewer: HemlockMartinis Signed
Date: January 30, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

It's stories like this that make me hit the refresh button until the wee hours of the morning.

Summary: Set in some near-distant future of the Office.
Categories: Future, Other
Characters: Toby
Genres: Drabble
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 479 Read Count: 2181 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: February 01, 2007 Updated: February 01, 2007
Reviewer: HemlockMartinis Signed
Date: February 01, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

That was PERFECT.

Summary: Past Featured StoryPam's discovered the world of internet chat rooms. Jim can't resist the chance to be near her in cyberspace. Spoilers up to Cocktails.
Categories: Jim and Pam, Present, Alternate Universe
Characters: Jim/Pam
Genres: Angst, Fluff, Humor, Romance
Warnings: Adult language
Series: None
Chapters: 18 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 84660 Read Count: 288957 ePub Downloads: 114
[Report This] Published: March 04, 2007 Updated: May 22, 2007
Reviewer: HemlockMartinis Signed 10
Date: May 07, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: When the evening is spread out against the sky

Please tell me there's a real forum like this.

This is my favorite story on here. Not even joking.

Reviewer: HemlockMartinis Signed
Date: March 08, 2007 Title: Chapter 4: To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet

This is TOO good. Like, seriously, the kind of good where you hit refresh constantly hoping for a new chapter to be posted.

Summary: A short example of the type of literary masterpiece that suits the new "Bad Fanfic" challenge. Please enjoy the glory of this great work of art.
Categories: Other, Jim and Pam
Characters: Ensemble
Genres: Humor
Warnings: Mild sexual content
Challenges: Bad Fanfic
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 300 Read Count: 4115 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: March 14, 2007 Updated: March 14, 2007
Reviewer: HemlockMartinis Signed 10
Date: March 14, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: Abomination of the written word.

This is not a badfic.

This is a besteverfic.



Author's Response: Why thank you.  I was definitely going for an Ed Wood kind of bad....so bad it's funny....

Summary:

Originally an entry into the Bad Fanfic Challenge but it grew a life of its own.


Categories: Jim and Pam, Alternate Universe, Present
Characters: Jim, Jim/Pam, Karen, Pam
Genres: Humor, Parody
Warnings: No Warnings Apply
Challenges: Bad Fanfic
Series: None
Chapters: 2 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1385 Read Count: 5819 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: March 18, 2007 Updated: April 29, 2007
Reviewer: HemlockMartinis Signed 10
Date: March 18, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: The DCMP Signal

I think you broke my brain.

In a good way. 

Summary: Squirrel returns! Jim's got the girl, but what's the price? Set at season 4 progresses, with episode overlaps. The IRC chatters are back, too. :-)
Categories: Jim and Pam, Present, Alternate Universe
Characters: Jim/Pam, Other
Genres: Fluff, Humor, Romance
Warnings: Adult language, Mild sexual content
Series: None
Chapters: 3 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 14883 Read Count: 22500 ePub Downloads: 9
[Report This] Published: October 12, 2007 Updated: November 04, 2007
Reviewer: HemlockMartinis Signed 10
Date: October 24, 2007 Title: Chapter 2: Yet, love, mere love, is beautiful indeed

YES YES YES YES! So glad you're writing a sequel!!!

Author's Response: Thank you!!  And I love your username!  :D

Reviewer: HemlockMartinis Signed 10
Date: November 04, 2007 Title: Chapter 3: Say over again, and yet once over again

You are awesome. And fantastic. And need to update this more often.


Author's Response: I shall do my best, HM!  I do have NaNoWriMo this month, but my heart is never far from Squirrel.  Thanks for the review.  :)