Michael's looking for a long lost relative - with (hopefully) hilarious results. Set S4ish - NO SPOILERS - with a healthy dose of a blissful Jim and Pam because I simply can't help myself.
10 You had me at "trees." :)
This is flat-out BRILLIANT! I... i just can't say anything else right now... :)
10 My only complaint about this story is that the updates are so few and far between! I freaking LOVE this story! :)
Your characterization of Michael is so close to reality it's spooky. It's like you're channeling him.
Brilliant. Just brilliant.
I know Mose. I'm so sorry. Real life's been c-razy for me lately. Hopefully the next two chapters will be cleaned up sooner rather than later.
Though I'm scared you think I'm channeling Michael. What does that say about me???
10 xoxoxo, I have a question for you: How did you get you get to be so awesome? Really?
This is one of the funniest, most well-crafted, most MICHAEL story I think I've ever read here! Wow.. .I'm just... there aren't even enough words to describe all the things I love about what this story chooses to be. (See what you've reduced me to? I'm laughing so hard my sentences don't even make any sense!)
Bravo! (although I feel like we all should be supplicating before you like Wayne and Garth before Alice Cooper... "We're not Worthy!! We're not worthy!!" )
Practice, Mose. Practice. :)
Thank you so much. I don't know what it is about Michael - but I'm getting really scared at how he seems to be haunting me.
I appreciate your cheering me on as I struggled to get to the finish, so thank you. :)
10 Well, Jack, since FF.net is currently unresponsive (wonder if it has anything to do with this story being over there? Hmmm...), you're getting my review over here instead.
Never have I been more frightened of Creed, yet never have I been more intrigued by him. While initially repulsed by the idea that Creed's girlfriend is studying Algebra, I have to say that he must be doing something right, y'know? Or else it's more a commentary on this girl's low self-esteem. Either way, I thank you for piquing my curiosity and scaring the bejeezus out of me in one fell swoop.
And what can be said about Karen's TH about comfortable shoes? Pure genius, that. As is the new C-Virus, that threatens to destroy all life on this planet. Here's hoping that once Dwight can find a suitable innoculation (provided by Jim, perhaps?), that he will stand as mankind's last hope for survival and fight this virus the only way he knows how...like a Schrute.
Brilliance continues to abound, Jack, and I'm glad I've got a ringside seat for the apocalypse.
Written for both the Pam's Pregnancy and 55 Word challenges. Takes place before The Job.
Wait...Karen's the FATHER?? I KNEW IT!!! :)
Just kldding, Larry. This is fantastic. Good job.
10 I'm so glad you decided to dig this one out of your archives! I always thought this was so amazingly strong, and deserved to be shared with the world. :)
I won't beat you over the head with anything: hate stick, fluff stick, nothing. Instead I'll just toss a few dozens Stanley nickels your way to add to your ever-growing collection. You're an amazing force of nature, Swiff... and you're going to do great things! :)
A collection of brief everyday moments: sleeping, showering, working, eating...(sounds exciting, huh?)
Each part is a mini-one shot (i.e., not a WIP with one ongoing narrative); no spoilers.
10 I'm very late to the game here. Like, extremely late. They're folding up the chairs and turning out the lights kind of late. And for that, I apologize.
However, I hope it's not too late to say that I loved this last chapter of yours. It was so beautiful in its simplicity, yet so complex at the same time. I can't think of a better way to end this great story of yours than watching the two of them drift off to sleep together.
I'll just sneak out quietly so as not to wake them up... :)
Fashionably late, I'd say ;-)
You know, I hesitated slightly to end with them falling asleep, only cause there was a previous sleep-related chapter...but, it just seemed right to me - there's just something so intimate and connected about that image, I guess. Glad it worked for you too. And 'simple yet complex' is very high praise to me. I find writing mostly a reductive process these days, lol...only a matter of time before I go all Gertrude Stein and write: 'A Pam is a Pam is a Pam' and call it a day. Thanks so much for your kind comments, Cousin Mose!How the events of Casino Night effect Pam emotionally and how she digs herself up and out the hole of despair to be the Fancy and New Beesly of Season 3.
Completed 8/06/08
10 DM, this story is so achingly wonderful. Really, there's so many amazing images and emotions here. I love the way Pam's tears and the water from her shower are mixing together. Such a great way to describe the mixed up emotions she's feeling at that moment. Great job!
Author's Response: Thank you mister beta man! It's really hard to write and still end up being in a good mood but that's your job, to cheer me up, and you do an excellent job of it.
10 Even though you already know my thoughts on this, I'll still chime in here with a "wow!" Yeah, it's that good. :)
I'm SO glad to see you writing again! And I know I'm not the only one, either. Well done!
I love the image of Roy's hand suddenly feeling different on her back. That's a great moment right there. :)
I'm so happy to see you back again!
Very nicely done! I like the changes you made, especially with the ending. I think it works a lot better now. :)
Yeah, can we not wait another four months? ;P
Awww... Poor Pam! Is it wrong that I just want to give her a hug? (Well, considering that I usually want to do that anyway.. ;P)
Seriously, though, you've done a nice job in this chapter in showing the borderline panic she must've felt when she found out he was gone and not coming back. Look forward to more!
Thank you my devoted reader. :)
You can hug her, at this point I don't think she'd mind.
10 I'm so glad to see this story back. I really think it's one of the strongest things you've ever written, and really showcases your ability to get inside Pam's thoughts. I especially liked how you showed Pam's nervousness and anxiety about going on a date, but coupled that with the excitement of "spreading her wings" and "loving every second of it." I totally believe that about S3 Pam. It must have been scary for her, but thrilling as well.
Great work!
10 A fantastic ending to this story,DM, and a bold place to end it, if I may say so. Most other writers would have used this phone conversation as a springboard to something else, some grand act of bravery on Pam's part where she tells Jim exactly how she feels and he comes back and they ride off into the sunset together.
Instead, you've chosen to point out something that I think most of us overlook during this scene: namely, that neither one of them ever really expected to see each other again, and that it very well could have been their last conversation ever. And, even though we all know that's not what happened, I applaud you for being brave enough to suggest that if it hadn't happened, that it would be okay. :)
Great job all around, my friend.
Thanks! I didn't want to take it further, I didn't want to delve into their relationship. I didn't even want to acknowledge the text that was sent during Diwali. I wanted it to feel realistic to life and to the story line that happened during S3. I like how it ended too, it was probably anti-climactic after 11 months of waiting but it felt realistic.
I'm so glad you stuck it out with me, it's been nice to at least keep a few loyal readers.
Pam's fears are getting the better of her.
For the Pam's Pregnancy challenge.
Hey, from Jan's "smothering" personality, to Pam's out-of-control hormones, to an Arrested Development reference? Wow. This was fabulous.
Nice job!
Pam wishes she had loved Jim all her life, and Jim rises to the challenge. Pure fluff.10 I'm totally using "fauxstalgic" in my next casual conversation. :) Great beginning!
Author's Response: Thank you very much, sir, you are a gentleman and a scholar. Thanks for the review!
Okay, wow! How have I missed this story? Shame on me! So many great things in this chapter:
-Sweaters and CDs. Should I feel guilty for all the sweaters and CDs I've bought my wife over the years? :P
-Bonus points for a Ralph Wiggum reference!
-Dorky!Jam is the best Jam of all the Jam.
-I remember the "married" swing thing, but I never knew about the cootie shot. Although, it would have come in handy, since everyone knows girls are the source of cooties. :P
Fabulous chapter! Off to read the next!
Okay, I don't want to sound like a music snob, but "Love Hurts" isn't by Aerosmith, it's by Nazareth. (What? I'm old. Oh, and grunge sucks. :P) hehe.
Seriously, though, another great chapter here. So many frightening memories, even though I was already out of high school by 93...
Great job!
10 See, I was thinking just the opposite: I hated high school and wouldn't go back there ever! Although, if I'd had friends like Jim and Pam, it might have been a different story. :)
Just a terrific chapter again. Bravo to you, and I can't wait to see where this ends up.
10 Jack! How in the you-know-what did I not see this earlier? I remember seeing this story title months ago at ff.net, but I think it was taken down before I had a chance to read it. Is this more or less the same story? Because it's 100% pure insane genius.
Also, I have this theory that you built the real Wert in your garage out of spare parts and body pieces scavenged from lonely graveyards. But this is as good an explanation as any, I guess.
Bravo!
10 This is so nicely done. Just so many sweet little images here crammed into such a small space. Like all the little things crammed into their backseat. :) Excellent!
Author's Response: I actually worked for a long time on how to say that line in as few words as possible, so that's good to hear. Thanks!
Jim and Pam have 24 hours together before he leaves for Stamford. A lot can happen when you're on borrowed time.I am so ridonkulously excited for this new story I can't even stand it! And if this prologue is any indication, this will be your best yet. (Oh, who am I kidding? You could copy the phone book from Lundegard to Nichols and I'd still read it. :) )
Oh and I LOVE the addition of the "secret code" talk. FAB-U-LOUS! Really. Seriously. Like... holy cow, that's good.
Viva La Swifferina!
I can't believe you used the word ridonkulous :-P Thank you so so so so SO much for beta-ing this monster!
I hope you're doing okay, I'm sending lots of good energy vibes your way (whatever those do :))
The thing about self-imposed exiles is that they're very, very lonely. Also, one tends to miss out on things like this. And I just couldn't stay away any longer, because this story is just so fantastic! Really, prouder of you I could not be. :)
Oh, and this line right here? "We're just two friends saying goodbye the only way we know how." Wow. That's really good. :)
See, you keep producing chapters like this, and you're going to force me out of exile permanently! Not that I'd complain, mind you... :)
That last line is fantastic. So much symbolism there. I am loving this story!
I have to come down on the side with Jim on the whole French fry in the Frosty being gross debate, fo sho. All my friends seem to love it, and they always tell me "You have to try it," and I have, and I think it's gross. But this is not Cousin Mose story hour, this is "Tell Swiff how awesome her latest chapter is hour," which, really, is pretty much going to be every review from here on out, so... :)
A couple of really fantastic lines stood out to me in this chapter, especially "the way all the breathing in the car seems to have stopped," and, "it's prom night all over again and I'm holding the keys to a hotel room." Just amazing how you capture the tension and angst of these two and make them so believable. Well, maybe it's not amazing; since you're a brilliant writer, maybe it's just to be expected. Yeah, let's go with that. :)
Oh, and if Wendy Blue owned Wendy's, she'd be in the GREEN! BWAHAHAHAHAAAA!!
*ahem*
'Scuse me. I'll just be over here.