9

I've got a real soft spot for Kelly!fic, and this one was just great. It was funny in all the right places, such as the first thing she notices about Ryan is the fact that orange isn't his color, and yet you manage to keep the Kelly-ness from going over the top. That's not easy to do, either. (I have a really hard time writing Kelly, so I'm impressed!). I like that you ended on an honest and poignant moment as well. Ryan's a tool, yeah, but I don't think he's pure evil. :D

Great job! 

9

Great idea for a new fic! I've always been a big fan of TZ, and I think you're on the right track here. Nice job! :D

Author's Response: Yay thanks! I always love it when you read my stuff. :)

9

Great idea for a fic, Emily. That website always gives me chills whenever I look at it, and I find that I can't read it for very long without feeling too much like I'm prying somewhere I'm not supposed to be. 

Should be very interesting to see where you go with all this.  

10

So I read this story just now as it was in the submission queue, and I've gotta say: I'm really impressed! I love stories like this that play with convention a little bit and use a format we haven't seen before.

Needless to say, I'm very interested to see where to take this. Well done, and congratulations on your first fic!

9

Way to take a torturous scene and turn it on its ear, Kev! I love the turn of phrase at the very end especially. The Merger is one of the few Office episodes that I just can't watch because it's like watching a car wreck in slow motion. So this scenario is healthier for me to imagine. :D

Author's Response:

That scene was so painful to watch, especially the first time.  I think I rewound it and watched it a few times (getting more and more agitated, probably) trying to find something hopeful, but to little avail, really.  And if The Merger is a train wreck (which I think is apt), then the PLoD scene is where you see bodies crunching together.  And not in a good way. :(

I like my way sooooo much better.

I enjoyed using that same phrase for a different person, too.  It makes sense.  Jim's Jim, and he's going to use the same sorts of words for the same sorts of circumstances.  But for those of us who disliked Season 3's triangle of stupidity, it's a nice little... I don't know... revenge?  compensation?...  something like that, that Jim is using the same words here to avoid the triangle that he used to ward off Pam in The Merger.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, Cousin Mose!  And this story actually was "new." :) 

DM! Look at you, being all prolific and what not! I think this is a fun idea for a fic, and even though I know that they're not all the same age, somehow that doesn't bother me. I can just go with what you've got going here and enjoy your talent. 

Great job so far!

Cute idea for a fic, lis! I only have one critique: while I'm sure Jim would like basketball and the track & field events, his real favorite event--like all us guys--is the women's beach volleyball. :D

Hey, if Pam is going to get all hot and bothered over Michael Phelps, it's only fair that Jim get to watch Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Traynor!

Great job!

9

This chapter is really excellent, but two specific parts really resonated with me.

The first is the moment there at the beginning when she slips on Jim hoodie. The way you describe the tactile nature of that moment for Pam was excellent. (It reminded me of something sort of similar I wrote in one of my early stories where Jim goes to Pam's apartment for the first time and muses internally about the different sights and smells. /Mose story hour). So yeah, that was a great moment.

The other part that really stood out was this passage right here:

Because of me, Jim has thrown his entire life into a tailspin. He’s back at a job he can’t stand, and I’m assuming broken up from a girlfriend that he’d been happy with. I can’t feel good about that, no matter how much I want to be with him.

That's about the best perspective I've ever read on what Pam may have been thinking and feeling about all this. 

Keep up the good work! We're lucky to have you as part of our little community here. 

10

1. I'm apparently thicker than the large print edition of "The Complete & Unabridged Works of Charles Dickens," because I only just made the connection of who you are out there in the "real" world. *waves* I love you, Dr. Zaius!! :D

2. I've always wanted to write a "Jim and Pam get a dog" story, and now I don't have to, since this one is so great. Fun, quirky, a little bit poignant... you've hit the trifecta here. 

3. Elvis looks a little bit like a Beagle to me. (And THERE'S a sentence I never thought I'd ever type. :D :D)

4. Excellent work, my friend. 

10

Coffevixen, you've done it again. Simply beautiful writing here, so descriptive, so evocative. I love these introspective glimpses like you've shown us here. Excellent work! Hope to see much, much more from you!

10

Absolutely spot on characterizations here. I love that you chose to focus on a good mixture of characters here, and--even though I may be in the minority here--I'm glad that none of them were Jim and Pam. Not that I don't like those two, but their inclusion would have distracted most readers from the wonderfully poignant Dwight/Angela interactions you've got going on here. 

Excellent work, shoutoutout, and I'm so glad you're sharing your work with us.

10

Holy Cow.

I had no idea that I needed to imagine nunchucks made from two live bears chained together until now. And I can honestly say, without any reservation whatsoever, that my world has meaning. :D

So many things to love about this idea, too many, in fact, to name--because it'd just be recopying and pasting the entire story--so i'll try and limit myself to just a few standouts. 

Ursine nunchucks aside, can we discuss the sheer brlliance of "Der Kommisar" for a moment? It's the absolute perfect choice, as it satisfies a number of requirements for comedy: It's perfect on one level, for Dwight's comic book hero, it's an Andy-ish song all the way, and it's just dorky enough to still be cool after all these years. 

And, call me juvenile, but the absolute winning moment for me was Kevin's visual suggestion for Pam's drawing. It's a tiny moment, yes, but one that killed me. 

You two knocked this out of the park. Well done, my friends.