Yup, Roy isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but since he didn't go after Jim the second after Pam told him, there MUST have been some kind of thought process leading up to him attacking Jim in the office. Nice fill-in, and I think your idea of Roy acting out his grief over losing his plans as violence towards Jim is very likely.

Always nice to hear Roy's side; it definitely isn't as simple as Jim = good and Roy = bad.

It is really hard for me not to make a deafening girly squee right now that you could hear even over the internet!

Um, this is going to be a long comment- feel free to skim.

Most important, you're concentrating on the friendship- I thought that was crucial considering Pam's motivations for going. Love Jim reinforcing it by talking about repairing their friendship first (btw, I loved your 'fractured friendship' phrase; perfect because it wasn't quite broken, but.... yeah, perfect).

Jim's using the Australian slang for Pam's behaviour was cool because it worked for me to show how he could be honest about how he felt to Pam while avoiding calling her blind, ridiculous, or something. I thought other words could have led to an argument, but by using the slang they could concentrate on how he felt- and it was a little humorous to keep things more relaxed.

Jim makes friends pretty easily, it seems, so making a friend like that for a night just seemed so Jim. Oh, and I'm so glad he didn't sleep with her.

Thanks for describing the scene from both points of view- always cool to hear and takes some skill from the writer to get inside both heads without being redundant.

I am so in love with this story- even though the title 'Cardiac Care' right next to your username kind of freaks me out when I see it ;)

Author's Response:

Hi, variella!

First of all, thanks so much for leaving such a detailed review!  It is always helpful to get a sense of "what works" and what doesn't.  I'm glad the Australian slang part worked for you because I have a sense that that particular chapter fell flat for a lot of readers.  It's a bit better now that I've revised it ... but it might get more editing later.

Your last comment had me laughing out loud.  I can't believe I never thought of the irony of the juxtaposition of "Cardiac Care" with "Vampiric Blood." 

I'll look forward to constructive feedback from you on future chapters?  Yes?

Thanks again!

Not much to do with two sleeping women in their beds.
that's what she said.

He was totally, completely, 95% positive of it.
Now that's a Micheal-ism if I ever heard one. Jim must have caught it.

This is great. For so many reasons. I love your miniscule but important details (i.e. hospital rooms get messy so easily, how it happens is a mystery to me). LOVE that Jim is starting to think outside of his own head now that he is in a new environment. And realizing that expecting Pam to lure him into infidelity was a little unreasonable *eyeroll*

I ♥ this fic.

Author's Response: Thank you, variella!  I'm glad you like my details and the way Jim's character is developing.  It's funny, this story is decidedly different than what I first had in mind, oh almost 2 years ago.  Geez, I can't believe I am so slow.  But I think the way the story has developed is much stronger than what I originally had in mind.  Less soap opera-ish.  So thanks for sticking with me!

Wow. Just wow. Great angry/hurt!Pam... and liked the way you had her express why she left w/Roy.

And you wrote Karen in well, I could totally see her reacting that way. I am SO glad this story is completed ;)

Sweet and clever. I agree that Pam is secure enough now that she is okay with the surprises.

But she doesn’t imagine fences.
Nice. I was two lines further along before I realized the significance of this sentence and had to go back. It is worked in very smoothly for something so significant.

I know this is old... but hey, quality doesn't go stale :)

Liked it. Very much. Still being surprised by someone after being with them for so long bodes well for a lasting relationship- esp when Jim feels safe enough to admit when he wants.

This is really touching... and you wove in canon lines well. SO glad I'm just starting reading now because there is no waiting for me to read the next chapter!

Awesome. Not too wordy and it definitely fills in their thoughts. Very them- funny and clever but not too smartass-y. I adore how their humor is kind and positive, not too sarcastic.

I can definitely see these going on- they're short enough to be done between tasks.

Love it so far, hope reviewing keeps you going :)

Author's Response: Reviews most certainly do keep me going, especially reviews like that! I\'m so glad you think I captured Jim and Pam well, and I will definitely strive to write more! =]

Much as I'd love to read what happens next, this is perfect as a one-shot.

What a great twist on the ep- fits in so nicely with how both of them were behaving earlier. To quote Kevin, niiiiiice.

Author's Response:

Thanks so much, variella!  What happens next is we fast forward to them dating, like in Fun Run, but we still get to know Andy and the rest of the gang, and push most of them into the chocolate river.  So, sort of a Season 3 with JAMdating and without the triangle of stupidity.  But I'm never going to write that!  We can all imagine, and our imaginations would be better than my writing!

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!  I'm so glad you enjoyed this. :) 

Definitely exciting! Concrit: there are many misspelled and misused words (i.e. 'they're' instead of 'their') and grammatical errors that interrupt the flow of the story... internet problems are annoying, I've had a lot of them myself lately, but getting someone to beta for you would probably solve the problem. There's a list on the fanfic home page I think of people willing to beta. This fic is fantastic, so the mechanical errors are more annoying than anything else.

I don't know how I am going to wait for the next part- well, I guess I don't have a choice! I really like how you have mixed up the chronological order of the story; definitely adds to the suspense, and makes the plot seem more complex. Awesome chapters so far :)

Author's Response: I appreciate your advice but I\'m hardly new to this site. I actually am a beta for a few other writers and sometimes it\'s harder to notice mistakes when it\'s my own writing. However, a friend did look for this story for me after seeing this review and there was one misspelled word according to him. You definitely have me paying special close attention to what I\'m currently working on so I can only thank you for that. In the serious way and not the rude way.\r\nThank you for taking time to read and review my story.

I have a soft spot the size of China for 'what if' stories, especially involving Booze Cruise.

Pam hesitating to set a date? Roy's obliviousness? Jim giving Pam time to think about it? So good. This really works as a one shot. :) Awesome story.

Very Pam-ish to be assertive enough to call him, but do it with the safety of doing it at work... and then leaving it up to him to call her that evening.

Oh for the love of humanity do not leave us hanging too long!

:)

Author's Response:

I think that's very them, put it out there, take it back, put it out there, take it back.  I'm so happy you liked it, and thank you for taking the time to review.  I won't leave you hanging much longer.

Going out to clubs every night and sleeping around wasn’t part of who she was, but it was when the face that woke up next to her every morning began to blur into that of another, that she realized there was a problem.
I liked this paragraph because it described why the shift was so disturbing to Pam; without doing anything or changing her routine, things changed anyway.