8

Whoa. I mean. Whoa. I never thought I'd like SlutPam but this is very good. Quite believable. I like Ryan walking around shell-shocked. I think he is taking advantage of her here, but it's not like she didn't start this. He's just doing what a guy would do--she's offering free sex and he's for sure not going to pass it up. I would really like to see the next day at the office between these two. 

Loved the line "they both ignore what she said." I could certainly have used a tad more detail about that lovely Ryan and his blue, blue eyes, but this is a short piece and might have unbalanced it. 

Well done. Very well done.

5

"illiciting" -- no. Common mistake. You want "eliciting".

She looked beautiful. And his heart was relieved, full, and in pain. And she was in Stamford. In his office. At his job. And in his life again.

Oh shit....

GREAT ending. Heh. Poor Jim. 

“Oh really?” That low, warm voice made her tingle all over. “You wouldn’t happen to be naked while you’re doing this thinking, would you?”

Wow. /Jim

I can actually hear him saying this, and I'm getting hot all over. Well done! 

Pam is an idiot.

But we knew that. After a session like that, any woman who does not absolutely fall at Jm's feet is an idiot. 

Some technical fixes: "jut", not "gut out", and you probably need to run the whole thing past a spellchecker, but overall a good effort. I think on their first encounter, Jim is enough of an old fashioned guy that he would not settle for a hand job, but that's just me. What you gave us was HOT. Thanks.

It was like that one secret that just belonged to them, and even they couldn't speak it.

A jewel of a line, and encapsulates the whole piece. Well done. 

10

Thanks for a smokin' hot Roy. Long overdue. And glimpses of him as a young, virile quarterback--yes! Thank you. But best of all is Pam saying, "I can't" to Roy. Love the echo of Jim's "You have no idea..." (that silky voice still echoing in all our heads).

I need ice water now...

10

This is me, melting. So good. Thank you.


Author's Response: Your welcome. Spontaneous Halpert Hydroplosion claims another victim...he seems to have that effect. And thank you!

Wow. [/Jim]

Thank you  for this. Lovely imagery. Love the watercolor metaphor, the triangle metaphor, all of it. Nicely done.

Ooo. Squee!

Okay, more sober assessment: Would she really be this nervous about texting him? It's not like passing notes, really, because she KNOWS how he feels about her. He could not have made it any plainer. So it's not like he's going to turn her down. Is she nervous because this is dangerous for her--stepping out of her comfort zone?

You stimulate all these interesting questions for me! 

Mmmmm. Tasty. Thank you.


Author's Response: You are welcome!  (And thank you for the review.)

Sweet. But I don't see them doing this to Interpol, which is what John Krasinski said they were listening to. Perhaps you could specify the music, so I get a better idea of the mood?

Love that line about his familiar scent. Such a nice touch to make him real to us.

Well, hell. We're echoing each other; about half of this is also in a fic I'm writing. GMTA, hey? Back to the drawing board...

Anyway. I liked the insight into Jim's head, but I'm not sure he's this self-aware. It's a tad too articulate for a guy who until recently was not only kidding everyone else but trying to convince himself that he wasn't in love with his best friend.  "Twice now he said one thing meaning to say another." Yeah, this Jim I believe. Not the one intricately dissecting every move and every word. He would remember them, but not necessarily analyze them to the extent you have here.

Or maybe he would. I'm so Jam-dehydrated I'm not sure I'm making any sense at all. Anyway, thanks for writing this piece. I need lifelines like this.