Passion, possession, and paint in the wee morning hours.
I adore a story that takes full advantage of every sense, the way this does. Your evocation of emotion as color, the loving description of Jim's body (Without knots and buttons and pleats, he’s leather-hard and masculine in the most elemental way.--Sheer genius), your generous and inspired use of adjectives--everything in this story is calculated to hit every one of my buttons. This is going in my favorites file, for sure.
One of the best things about this is the voice. Pam sounds sure, confident, in charge, in a way we don't often get to see. When it comes to her art, she's gained more confidence than we saw in "Business School", when she appeared so nervous at the art show. And Jim, so patient while she paints him (how that must have tickled) is such a great combination of the Jim who will do anything for her, and the masculine/eroticized Jim you've given us, well, it's just fabulous.
I better stop now, or I'll go on all night. Fabulous work, sweetpea. Fabulous.
I had this whole big long response typed out, NEJ, and when I hit 'submit' I got a 404 Error. Ack.
Okay, here goes from memory. I think I first said I was speechless and then I blathered on and on, so I'm going to skip the speechless part this time. I don't know how to tell you how wonderful it is to read this and it's going to go in my 'best reviews ever' file. I fought so hard with this thing, from concept to putting a title to it, so to read this...yeah, that's a good feeling.
This is really my favorite kind of thing to write. I'm so pleased with all of the bits that you mentioned because they're the things I work hard on and they're the things that I enjoy reading in a story, too. Usually, I try hard to make sure the characters ring true, but in this case, it was more important to me to convey feelings and emotions and even if that meant putting Pam naked on Jim's ass with a paintbrush in her hand drawing her life on his back at 4 in the morning, well...I was happy to do that. Who REALLY knows what goes on with these characters after dark, right? :)
Have I prattled on long enough? I could have just said 'thank you', right? Thank you.
Three times Jim proposed...with unexpected results. Spoilers through Chair Model.
I own nothing whatsoever to do with these characters or The Office.
I don't know which is more perfect, the sly allusion to the Michael/Jan dynamic with "babe", or the implication that Jim would require tuna dinners at his wedding. Either way, this was funny and fantastic and I enjoyed it a lot.
Author's Response: It was way too much fun to write, NEJ, and I'm so glad you liked it! Yep, tuna dinners with PB&J sauce, for sure. Or, ham and cheese sandwiches for the meat-eaters! Thank you so much!
Some talking heads that take place right after the meeting called by Ryan in Night Out.I never cease to marvel at how well you capture these characters with just a couple of sentences or a handful of words. It's amazing, truly. Every single one of these THs is on target. I can't even single out one over the other. *applause*
Yeah, I can imagine that Jim has his proposal all planned out, and then in the heat of a moment (like he did in Casino Night), he throws those plans under the bus and just asks her. Well don, as always. Your work is always a joy.
tricking Dwight into eating a peanut butter-soy sauce-pickle-honey sandwich because it was "rich in antioxidants
When I read that line I had to stop reading 'cause I was laughing so hard. That is so completely THEM. And so completely Dwight.
Jim was looking at her with this fond, sweet look
That right there is a PERFECT description of how Jim looks at her.
"Probably," she said.
Ooo. Pain and joy altogether. I like it that she has doubts and he has doubts and still they manage to hang in there together. Well done. Thank you for sharing this.
you know they have sex on every solid surface
LOL! Of course they do. Wonderful line. :)
Thanks so much for a JewishJim. And the mental image of Jim singing Hebrew was just wonderful. And hot. Which is weird, but I liked it. Thanks for writing this.
He would close his eyes and remember their time apart, concentrating on it, trying to feel it. Just when he started to connect with the empty feeling, he would open his eyes and look at her sleeping beside him, and slide close enough to her so he could feel her breath, and feel nothing less than a sort of joy.
So, he had to give up pretending that he wasn’t really a paper salesman and not really caring, had to give up on the whole idea that he wasn’t really part of this world.
I love that line. It says so much about who Jim used to be, and who he is now. Well done, sir.
Suh-weet. A very pretty ending to an otherwise not so pretty episode. :) Love that last line, too!
Suh-weet. Oh, so sweet. I love Jim's impulsive lunge off of the bed to his suit jacket. And how at the last minute, of course all his best laid plans/speeches fail him, and he just speaks from his heart, so simple and honest. That's the Jim we love. Thanks so much for this!
Author's Response: Thanks, m'am. Glad you enjoyed. And yes, Jim is not about the long speeches. He's all about the heart ;-)
So, so lovely and simple and right for them. Thank you for posting this little gem.
“Are you awake?”Â
A Tuesday morning someday in the future.
I have only have one warning about this fic: not everything is how it first appears.
Dude, this is seriously serious stuff. Sad, sad, sad but very fulfilling nevertheless. Poor Jim. I love the way you transition from her point of view to his--difficult to pull off but you did it well.
Well, this is certainly a new shape for Ryan, but I can't call it unfamiliar because you make me TOTALLY believe this is him. And it all centers around that moment when he picks up his daughter and magically transforms from a mere man into a Father. i've seen that happen, and you captured that moment so beautifully! I like that you didn't change him SO much that he married Kelly. I loved Kelly marrying Darryl and wearing a pin stripe suit (naturally, it would be a couturier knock-off, no?) and Emma sounds like the perfect mix of these two totally dissimilar people. (And Brown University? Heh. Cute.) I liked this story very much. It flowed seamlessly, it completely convinced me, and it left me with a smile (and a tear) on my face. Well done! Thank you for sharing this story.
Author's Response: thank you so much for your review! i'm glad ryan feels believable. there was no way i was going to put ryan in a marriage with kelly, i just don't think it makes sense for this context. but of course, he had to change. ah yes, kelly in a pinstripe suit! once i made that writing decision, the rest of that scene wrote itself (well... not really). it's probably a DKNY suit or maybe club monaco. not on sale though :) yes, emma. i pictured her as kind of athletic, not so much girly, but with aspects of her mom that she wishes weren't there. also, i picture her really dry like ryan. yes, the brown univ shout out. subtle, no? thanks again!
*wince* Ooo. Straight to the griefbone, girl. And yet, sadly enough, I can totally see this happening. :( I hope it doesn't.
As always, well written. I think you did a good job of getting us in Jim's head; not many people even try that. And yeah, Pam might decide that jumping from one engagement to another is too fast, even though Jim's waited forever for her.
Best of all, I love this insight: "We were never really friends to begin with. There was always something else beneath that veneer. And I knew it was all or nothing for us. "
Absofrickinlutely.
Damn, Colette, now you make me wanna visit New York again. The love for your city comes through loud and clear, as clear as Jim's love for Pam. PB Orgasms? Cute. Tiny rose quartz elephants? To die for! Can't wait to see what comes next!
Author's Response: I actually have a tiny rose quartz elephant good luck charm, so I'm tickled you liked that. And I have had cookies called Chocolate Orgasms...but sadly, Jim had nothing to do with either of those things, lol. Happy you like this, NEJ. Many thanks!
"‘What, your mom never made you bear testicle tea when you were sick?’" No, but I bet Dwight's mom did. And I bet she shot the bear herself.
Considering how big his hands are, he’s surprisingly adept with chopsticks.
Yeah, I would completely believe that. And I would believe that Pam, whom Jim called a klutz, would not be. :)
leaving him exposed, vulnerable, impossibly beautiful.
What a lovely, lovely word picture.
at the rate she’s going, she’s thinking he might get laid right here on the table...she runs her foot up to his inner thigh, letting her toes linger for a moment at the point where the inseams of his jeans converge. It elicits a satisfying gasp from him.
Where is this restaurant and how do I get a reservation? :)
Ah, Colette, you never disappoint. However, I hope you've remembered that you always get, er, hungry again two hours after you've eaten Chinese food...Maybe Jim and Pam will go out for dessert? Or stay in. Whatever. :) I look forward to this lovely culinary exploration of each other New York.
S3, set between Traveling Salesman and The Return.
10 *le sigh* Lovely. How very Jim of him to save an "artifact" from Pam, the way she saved the yogurt lids from Office Olympics. I congratulate you on the wonderful portrait of Karen you drew here; she was as real as Jim and Pam, very alive on the page (so to speak). You showed her both brittle and vulnerable; it's so easy to emphasize one over the other.
I loved lines like "He didn't know how to be around her". That's so very true--when one is past a certain intensity of emotion, how to find new ground in a relationship? Very true to life. Well done. You know I always love your stuff, Colette; this one was no exception (even if I got to it a little late!)
A golf pencil, two hot sauce packets, a Boggle timer, a mixtape, a high school yearbook photo, a card, and a teapot. Yup.This is OUTSTANDING. I am so jealous of the ease with which you have captured Jim and Pam's banter. It really sounds like them. And this? Is very insightful:
The easy, happy way in which he took her abuse was one of the several dozen things Pam really liked about Jim.
So very Pam. Well done!
the quick, hot shame in the twist of his neck knocked something loose in his head.
Brilliant line.
Creed and Meredith were executing a sloppy tango down the length of the parking lot
I want to see that in the show. Really. I fell off my chair laughing.
I love all of this. Again, you've captured their voices so, so true. Envious...
10 The blindfolded yogurt may be the cutest thing I've read in a month.
More brilliance:
The timer had disappeared, removed before it could have run out, the moment suspended in the dark of his pocket or the warmth of his hand.
I love every word of this one.
So sweet, so sad, so Jim. Love every moment.
Author's Response: I know. Poor Jim. Fortunately, things have been looking up for him as of late.
Pam told herself the whole story for the first time.
I love the way you put that. Yes, first you have to tell yourself the story, before you can tell it to anyone else. Good insight!
Pam imagined the kisses getting longer and slower until the spaces between them disappeared.
One of the most erotic sentences in this entire collection. :)
10 Jim had begun composing death threats to the members of Mannheim Steamroller and emailing them to Pam, requesting that she print them out on company letterhead and leave them in Dwight's inbox for his signature.
YES!
"This whole time. Really."
Perfect. This is so awwwwwwwwww. I love the fact that first, you pair the writing of the card with Jim and Pam's happily-ever-after, and secondly, that you preserve the tradition of never telling us what the damn card actually said. :D Well done.
Suh-weet. A lovely bit of fluff! Thanks for sharing it!
Author's Response: Thanks so much!
Brilliant. Every single vignette captures at least one facet of its subject so perfectly: Michael not understanding what "baby proof" really means; Creed living on milkweed; Angela thinking of Dwight as a cat killer still;and this:
dying three times in one night is a little much, even for a Schrute.
Brilliant. Brava, brava! And another brava for concentrating on the secondary characters so well!
"I was hoping I wouldn't have to admit this, but... I'm actually a Filipino."
Bwahahahah!!!
"Gunter Mangelwurzel."
Bwahahaha! And yes, I know that "mangelwurzel" is German for "beet".
"You'll forward me the picture of Dwight?"
Heh heh heh. That Jim, he never gets tired of teasing Dwight, does he?
unsure if the pages were toxic
Poor Pam, comparing Dwight's comic to Watchmen. Of course it would fall short. :)
"Who... is your favorite singer?"
"Dean. Martin." Stanley replied flatly.
"Wow, I didn't even know he was Black,"
Aaaaand that's when I fell out of my chair laughing. Brilliant.
"They're like little penises for our necks."
Yeah, that's me on the floor again. This is SO Michael.
Mandatory Blackness training.
Floor. Again. Man, this just gets better and better.
"Holla," Michael answered.
Floor.
"We might even see a Black man run for President," Stanley muttered.
"I pray for the day," Michael whispered soulfully.
Forget the floor. I'm in the basement now, howling.
"In the spirit of the documentary Roots, I want you to whip me," he whispered.
Oh, my God. Yes, he would absolutely do this.
I was wrong to have ever thought that your uterus would impede you as an artist
So Dwight of Dwight to say this. Floor again.
Let me say what a delight this was to read. There is far too little Office fanfic that is actually funny, and this is one of the best I've read. Second, you have absolutely NAILED Michael Scott, and that's hard to do. Third, you used the secondary characters like Stanley, Oscar, Darryl and Phyllis brilliantly. I loved Holly interrupting the meeting and Michael reconsidering his feelings for her.
And I will buy the first issue of Der Kommissar.
Brilliant, well done, and bravo, gentlemen!138: Hey, thanks so much... we're big proponents of at least trying to make the fiction funny and as much in-character as possible, and with you singling out so many of our lines, I'm guessing we at least hit one target.
Thank you very much and rest assured, Der Kommissar will return.
(And thanks especially for mentioning the Obama line... it was mine and I really wasn't sure how funny it was.)
Fanfic is a fun outlet for me after a long day at the office, but it's also a chance to work on some writing issues: character development, style, pacing. So thanks to anyone who gives me reviews!