S3, set between Traveling Salesman and The Return.bucolic
Niiiiiiice. Cool word to use! So appropriate for PBS re-airings of some BBC shows.
‘I seriously doubt she has class on Sunday night, Jim.’
LMAO. This just killed me- I totally heard Karen's voice in this phrase.
The plot thickened
I really appreciate how concise your writing is; so much said with one short phrase.
Author's Response:
You know, I actually did base that PBS description on about a dozen of those mysteries I've seen. They really do tend to be like that, lol. Glad Karen's voice came across - I have much more practice doing Pam/Jim, and hoped I'd hit the right note with her.
And thanks so much, variella - 'concise' is a favorite word of mine. (Though clearly, that doesn't show in this response ;-)
Thank goodness he took the recycling.
Good grief, doesn't Karen know the etiquette for these things is putting them on a top shelf in the cupboard and then putting them in a garage sale ten years later? Yup, she knew what she was doing and it speaks volumes about the whole situation...
Oh, and re: last chapter? Condom wrapper... em-bar-ras-sing. And such a realistic touch. Such a Jim thing to notice too.
Author's Response: Well, like Karen said re: throwing away the pot - it was just a silly thing, 'no point in holding onto it.' Zing. Glad the subtext there worked for you. And the condom wrapper...yup, last thing he wanted Pam to see - as if that moment with her wasn't uncomfortable enough. Yikes. Thanks again, variella!
*sigh* I like how you ended this. And the title. And I absolutely adore your end note of '... at the length truth will out.'
I've only been around a bit, but I'm thinking I should poke around your other pieces. Loved this one :)
Author's Response: You can always count on Shakespeare for a pithy quote, lol. Glad you liked this so much - if you do poke around, chronologically, I'd start with one around Lost & Found (personal fave) - the earlier ones are a bit klunkier. Thanks so much variella - really appreciate the feedback!
It's been three years since Jim accepted the promotion to New York. After two years of silence, Pam sends Jim a gift.
You don't need the penny. I'll GIVE you my thoughts. All of them :P
That would be gross. Well, it wasn’t as if his mouth would’ve never –
Why must you write lines that make whatever I am drinking go up my nose. So gross because it is so true. Yet somewhat unpalatable when you put it that way, and I'm not really a squeamish person... Pam's squicky thoughts make her very real.
I'm enjoying the pace of it- read up to here all in one shot, but it felt unhurried and as if it were in 'real time'- sometimes fics have Pam and Jim having immediate deep reactions to things that are way too articulate to be natural, while you've given them time to think.
I'll offer my thoughts on something that bothered me, and I'm doing my best to convey it without sounding presumptuous or judgemental.Anyway, it's the section in chapter 3 where it started Jim’s life with Karen was tumultuous.
I loved the fact you used the word tumultuous. Jim seems to be a a be-er not a do-er; he likes his time to simply be content and Karen doesn't seem to. And your description of Karen's constant need to 'do' something was great- on the show she literally always seems to be moving around. So on to my criticisms- I started to feel she was described as being one-dimensional and cold though... I could see her selecting the furniture you described and wanting the best but I think Jim would have seen what was underneath that which was the true reason he didn't like the visible trappings you described. Maybe he realized that being 'trendy' made her feel secure? That she let other people decide what was best instead of what she felt was appropriate on her own? I felt you skimmed over Karen considering that Jim broke off a long-term relationship with her. And these are underlying problems that Pam either doesn't have or has moved on from, which is why I thought they were important.
Anyway, I liked your idea for the photo, love Pam tracking the package (good grief, I'm obsessed with tracking packages I send, no matter how trivial the contents) and what was written in her note was perfect. Especially the Casino Night reference- she would totally fall on one of 'their' phrases to be sure he understood.
So it's probably obvious that I harbour a strong affection for this fic. And I do not want to put any evil thoughts in your head for future work, but the first chapter of this could almost stand as a one-shot... a very teasing one-shot, but still! Loving this. Finding it hard not to harangue you for more asap :)
Author's Response:
Thank you for sharing ALL your thoughts! This is a wonderful review!
Did you really have something go up your nose? I'm sorry ... sort of! :P
And, yeah, you are absolutely right that I made Karen one-dimensional. Unfairly so – and probably to the detriment of the story. But originally this was SUPPOSED to be a one-shot. And then it was up to two, maybe three chapters. I just wanted to get her out of the way so I could move on to the meat of the story that I wanted to write. I'm thinking that I'll get to the point where something decisive has happened in terms of Jim's reaction and mark the story complete. Go back to Cardiac Care. And, if my husband doesn't threaten to divorce me for estrangement, come back and add more to Gifts. If I do that, I'll probably rewrite that chapter to flesh Karen out to a real character and not just a plot device.
My son thought I should leave it at the first chapter, too. But I already had composed the pastel in my mind and just wanted to write it.
I'm just really excited that this story provoked such a detailed review! Makes me feel like a "real" writer ... so thank you!
Jim comes home late at night...
Fluffy and spoiler-free. Just wishful thinking on my part!
Jim is a little too perfect
Hmmm... I'll be brave and beg to differ! I thought it felt real; after being busy all day and coming home through the rain, entering a quiet house (and home is supposed to be a refuge from the world) with an energetic kid fast asleep would make most people relax. Plus that feeling of being 'sheltered from the storm' with someone waiting upstairs for you to come home.
And hey, he's not perfect- he didn't put the bike away! :)
I love rainy nights and thought you set the mood beautifully.
Sweet and very them. They're both the sort to keep small reminders like the medals and doves.
I always thought she must have agonized over what to write on that note, even though it was so short.
Author's Response: thank you! I absolutely agree, they\'re the kind to have \"keepsakes\" - possibly because they both have stalkerish tendencies ;)
When Jim can't be there when Pam needs him, he sends a little love through the mail.
My contribution to the "Pam in New York" theme
I am such a dorky softie... I loved it.
Author's Response:
dorky is the best kind of softie. :oP
thanks!
Sadly, I think this is more likely as Pam Taking The Art World By Storm! fics... good alternate take, I think.
Author's Response: Thank you. I sort of think so, too. I've enjoyed a lot of those stories, of course, but life doesn't always give you everything you want- and she already has the ultimate thing in Jim!
How you doin’?
Is it so wrong I hear Joey in the back of my mind every time I hear or read someone saying this? ;)
I like hearing from peripheral characters once in awhile, and I thought you wrote Darryl well- he always delivers more than people seem to expect from a warehouse guy. Liked this piece! :)
Author's Response: Yeah, I thought of Joey when I wrote it, but that\'s how Darryl would say it, too, so I just went with it. Thanks for the review!
A golf pencil, two hot sauce packets, a Boggle timer, a mixtape, a high school yearbook photo, a card, and a teapot. Yup.Fluffy yes- but enough substance to it that it was really truly Jim and Pam-ish.
Very sweet and it's only fics like this that are helping me get through the hiatus!
Author's Response: We writers will do our best to keep everyone sane and calm for another month. After that, we\'re turning the lot of you back over to TPTB for a while. Sound good? Thanks for your review.
Michael, who was, of course, their last guest
oh he SO would be.
Jim + Mark conversation: :) I'm curious as to what Jim ever said to Mark (if anything) about Pam. And thank you for not making it locker-room chat. 'You are so fucked' just describes S2 in three words.
He spit in his palm
Here's the thing. Sex (and related sexual activities) is inherently messy- not gross unless you choose to see it that way, but messy. And that MUST be why I love gory details. Also the fact that Jim is so cheap/amateur/impulsive he isn't using soap/lotion/lube/whatever. Um, I think I've said WAY too much.
mark the moment that she finally copped to it
I like the word 'copped'. And it seems very Jim-ish.
she was pulling, not being pushed
I'm so repetitive. I just really like the way this is written, even in his fantasies all Jim wants is for Pam to want him the way or as much as he wants her.
So much other stuff I liked, but I have this, like, job thing that I'm expected to do at a certain time on weekdays. They so do not understand the epic-ness (epicnicity?) of Jim and Pam since last Thursday. Soooo... I'll leave it with: You're great and thanks for posting :)
Author's Response: Variella, it drove me nuts that TPTB didn\'t give us an indication that Mark knew about Pam, because surely he did, even just a little. I\'ve never understood the tone that some authors choose when having Jim and Mark talk about women/Pam - Mark didn\'t seem like a crass guy, and we know Jim isn\'t. This seemed fair and likely to me. And, yeah, impulsive is the word you were looking for - sitting up to search for the KY probably would have stopped him dead in his tracks. That\'s what I was going for, anyway. Thanks so much for your lovely review - don\'t let that silly work stuff get in the way of your important fic responsibilities! I do it all the time. It\'s totally not worth it.
(or, Everyone Else Wrote It, Why Can't I?) If you aren't sick to death of tales about such an historic event, here's one more version - told to you by the daters themselves.PTP is, like, the best travel game to bring camping EVER! I can't believe it's in this story- totally a Jim/Pam-type game and love that they got a DLJ :) A good omen for sure. Want to leave a more detailed review, will have to do that later. So enjoyable to read.
Author's Response: Thanks! God, and it\'s so nice to hear someone say that re: Pass the Pigs! I grew up with it, loved it and my husband HATES it. I never get to play anymore! :(
o.m.g.
So wrong. So good.
Making Dwight squirm like that all day is the ultimate in pranks. And imagining Jim's face at overhearing the conversation Dwight and Angela had at the end of the day was a great touch.
Author's Response: Thanks! I don\'t think we get NEAR enough terrified Jim looks. I know he\'s cool and laid-back, but every once in awhile... :)
:)
she discovers that experience and talent are two totally different things
YES! If/when Pam comes to this realization, her entire world will open up. Although I still think once in awhile she'll fall into that habit of rambling on and on and saying way to much ("Roy definitely wouldn't have wanted me to see Jim's... Wow. I am saying a lot of things.")
Nice snapshots that fit the theme perfectly; my favorite is probably her needing to tell Jim about Roy while keeping him as a friend; I could have seen Pam back then just ignoring it and letting the chips fall where they may. Good for Pam for slipping it in there!
Author's Response: Thank you for your review!\r\n\r\nI love that scene where Pam babbles about Jim\'s.... lots of things. :) The commentary for that episode was pretty funny too. Jenna talked about how awkward it was for her because she basically had to think about John K\'s penis, which was really uncomfortable.
My mushy brain can't come up with anything more insightful than: Good. Really good.
"Of course he’d heard that the wedding was off."My favorite thing in the fic is that Michael called Jim first thing after hearing from Pam. If someone confides in him (as Jim did in Booze Cruise), Michael feels responsible for helping that person, so I could see him making that call. Great story.
This fic is my new crush :)
I'm loving the peeks into the past. You really described Pam's nerves well, and comparing them to how she felt before marrying (almost!) Roy highlights the fact that marrying Jim is the right decision for her.
All the little inserts like Jim realizing he'll never sleep alone in his room again and mentioning to Pam that they won't meet again as single people is a great idea- the fact that even the people involved find it hard to wrap their heads around the idea of being married.
Oh, and I love your name. I might not be fond of her art, but Pam definitely has a genius streak of creativity in her.
Author's Response: Wow, thanks so much. I really wanted to show how Pam\'s life changes when she realizes what she could have been missing without Jim in her life, especially in the upcoming chapters. I\'m so glad to know you\'re enjoying it.
Adorable. And so true about the matching undies (I tend to call them 'knickers' :) ).
Author's Response: Lol, I call them knickers too. Thanks :)
oh, I forgot to mention... I don't know if you intended it or not, and feel free to ignore my comment, but the quote from the story you put up on the main page gives away the entire fic. Or summarizes it? I don't know how to put it without sounding critical, which this absolutely isn't- merely a comment. Still loving it, btw ♥
Author's Response: You know, I totally know what you mean. That line I used in the summary has been in my head for weeks and I sort of structured the story around it so when I came to post it, I just automatically used it as the summary. But of course the story I ended up writing doesn\'t actually use that scenario until right near the end. I suppose if it draws people in to read this it\'s ok, but I totally see what you mean. Thanks for commenting :)
Good, good, good for Jim! Realizing it would save him an entire day of misery and deciding to spare himself by telling her no. Excellent.
You are no fun, Halpert,” she sighed.
“Emily and Sophie would disagree.”
totally made me giggle
It would have been VERY hard to explain to little girls why he was late ;)
"And it wasn't even a good beard." Pam isn't happy with Jim's new look
Oh holy God, what is that?
I laughed out loud- which pretty much set the tone for the rest of the story. Going without shaving sounds like a very Jim-ish thing to do- laid back and bordering on slacker :) (and considering how fast he seems to get five o'clock shadow, I'm thinking it wouldn't take long to get a substantial beard).
Great cookie detail. And they're totally being themselves with teasing each other over the beard. Thinking of you and others, sending good thoughts your way.
Pam struggles with doubt and suspicion when Jim's behavior over the summer doesn't make sense.I don't know whether to write a terrible review to you for scaring me so badly or a lovely review for the realism and happy ending :)
I'll go with the thumbs up (what has two thumbs and loves a happy Jam ending?). Seems like a very Jim and Pam type of home, too.
Author's Response:
Thank you! I'll take the thumbs up. :)
I'm glad you found this realistic! Thanks for your review.
Fact: Premise for the entire fic is awesome :)
I like the way you've made them completely separate scenarios. Um, nothing terribly interesting to add except I love it and Jim and Pam are adorable.
Author's Response: Fact. I really appreciate your kind review! :) Thank you so much. More coming soon!
If this is what you write out of boredom... man. So. Impressed. This is going to be a bit long because I don't know how you fit so much emotion in such a short piece without it feeling overdone. Most reviews seem to be pretty concise but I can't be that brief *sigh*
I like the voicemails. I know it has been done on the show, but they seem more like the type to leave several short 'thinking of you' notes instead of one overwrought message at the end of the day.
just how much she would miss him. It was like she could barely breathe. She'd worn blue to her first class, painted an ocean, and realized she might just be drowning.
Wow, exactly how it feels to miss someone. And Pam is painting what she feels instead of what she sees- hooray!
she missed him and she's tired and she just wants everything back
Perfect because even good change is hard and sometimes you want the familiar back (even if it means Dunder Mifflin :) )
Also, forgive me if this sounds a bit judgemental or condescending (it isn't), but wow. I can't believe you're only sixteen (glanced at your profile). I felt those things when I was that age, but there is no way I could have chosen the words to express myself outside of my thoughts. So this is admiration. I can't wait for the premiere either!
Awesome. Kelly/Toby just works for me somehow. There's a lot more going on inside Kelly's head than people seem to give her credit for, and I think Toby's quiet assertiveness could draw it out of her. And I think he'd enjoy her chatty moments too.
Nice. Not a tough sell at all.
Author's Response: Oh thank you. They just work somehow for me too, despite their differences in age and personality.
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