Penname: Alex Wert Real name:
Member Since: February 02, 2007

Bio:

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Reviews by Alex Wert
Wacky Wednesday by Muggins Rated: M [Reviews - 31] 14
Summary: Past Featured Story

Michael watched Pam through the blinds. She was so lucky, everyone always wanted to talk to her, hang out with her, be friends with her. Sometimes he wished he could be her. It would all be so easy if he was Pam.


Pam looked up to see Michael staring at her through the blinds. She smiled to herself before turning back to answering the phones. Sometimes she wondered what it was like to be Michael. It must be strange.


There's a rule of the universe. Never wonder the same thing at the same time as someone else. That's a karmic jinx.


Categories: Jim and Pam, Other, Crossover, Alternate Universe
Characters: Jim/Pam, Michael/Jan
Genres: Humor, Suspense
Warnings: Adult language, Dubious Consent, Other Adult Theme
Series: None
Chapters: 7 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 22887 Read Count: 10737 ePub Downloads: 2
[Report This] Published: September 20, 2007 Updated: November 01, 2007
Reviewer: Alex Wert Signed
Date: January 07, 2008 Title: Chapter 7: Everybody's shaking their Jamocha shakes

Dammit, update Muggins! Now!

The Shrute Questionnaire by malcolm lake Rated: K+ [Reviews - 13] 5
Summary: Past Featured StoryDwight's responses to the Proust Questionnaire (at least the ones he deemed worth answering)
Categories: Other
Characters: Dwight
Genres: None
Warnings: None
Challenges: Proust Questionnaire
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 347 Read Count: 1829 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: September 20, 2007 Updated: September 20, 2007
Reviewer: Alex Wert Signed
Date: October 25, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Yep, that's pretty much it.  Good fun.

Observer Effect by GodInThisChilis Rated: M [Reviews - 409] 151
Summary: Past Featured Story

MEMBER'S CHOICE TOP NOMINEE - Jim and Pam must interact in network sponsored live chats to promote their documentary. Angst (and maybe some smut) ensue.

Story now complete.

 


Categories: Jim and Pam, Episode Related
Characters: Ensemble, Jim/Karen, Jim/Pam, Pam/Other
Genres: Angst
Warnings: Adult language, Moderate sexual content
Series: Reality Reality TV
Chapters: 23 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 51174 Read Count: 147878 ePub Downloads: 49
[Report This] Published: October 11, 2007 Updated: November 16, 2007
Reviewer: Alex Wert Signed
Date: January 08, 2008 Title: Chapter 23: Squee!!!!!

Alie kept on telling me to read this, but I was way behind on my reading.  I'm finally up to this date, so I read it.  All I can say is "The meta!  It burns!"

Andy Bernard Pays His Rent by Team Karen Rated: MA [Reviews - 6] 3
Summary: When you're leasing from a dominatrix, paying the rent takes on a whole new meaning. Firm discipline never felt so good.
Categories: Other
Characters: Andy, Karen
Genres: In Stamford, Slash, Steamy
Warnings: Adult language, Explicit sexual content, Other Adult Theme
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1910 Read Count: 2155 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: December 13, 2007 Updated: December 13, 2007
Reviewer: Alex Wert Signed
Date: December 13, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: Mistress Lila.

You seem to really know your subject matter.  Possibly a little too well.

Author's Response: Takes one to know one, you perv.  *points judgementally*

Are you going to let Al Roker tell you what to do? by ExtremelyGruntled Rated: K [Reviews - 31] 11
Summary:

A Christmas party, a blizzard, mistletoe, and five gallons of spiked egg nog.


Categories: Jim and Pam
Characters: Ensemble
Genres: Drunk Pam/Jim, Fluff, Holiday, Humor
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 6 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 5923 Read Count: 19806 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: December 14, 2007 Updated: January 30, 2008
Reviewer: Alex Wert Signed
Date: January 30, 2008 Title: Chapter 6: Well, the cat's out of the bag.

So Jim's telling people about being a rebound... ironic...

Acting On Impulse by deerinthepark Rated: M [Reviews - 130] 45
Summary: Pam gets the nerve to call Jim after she breaks off the wedding, and gets invited along on an impromptu road trip across the country.
Categories: Jim and Pam, Alternate Universe
Characters: Jim/Pam, Pam
Genres: Romance, Steamy, Travel
Warnings: Adult language, Explicit sexual content
Challenges: Road Trip
Series: None
Chapters: 11 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 25535 Read Count: 66414 ePub Downloads: 11
[Report This] Published: December 20, 2007 Updated: February 25, 2008
Reviewer: Alex Wert Signed
Date: January 28, 2008 Title: Chapter 5: Heading For Denver

So is that Fuck an instruction for an action sequence?

Name me someone by sherlockelly Rated: MA [Reviews - 23] 16
Summary:

A long time ago, a told people to send me various Office pairings and I would write four or five sentence, super-short extra-filthy fanfictions about them.

A lot of people sent me pairings and a lot of MA short filth was produced. I decided to post them here because it gives me a reason to revisit (read: EDIT) them.

There will be 9 total, maybe 11 if I decide the crappy ones deserve to see light. ;)


Categories: Jim and Pam, Other
Characters: Angela, Dwight, Hunter, Jim, Jim/Pam, Karen, Kelly, Pam, Roy, Ryan
Genres: Drabble, Dream/Fantasy, Romance, Slash, Steamy
Warnings: Adult language, Explicit sexual content, Other Adult Theme
Series: None
Chapters: 9 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 1957 Read Count: 34487 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: December 27, 2007 Updated: January 01, 2008
Reviewer: Alex Wert Signed
Date: December 31, 2007 Title: Chapter 8: How and where (Karen/Ryan/Vibrator)

You know, it's a good thing this fandom has you around for all its porny needs.

All At Once by StarShine Rated: K [Reviews - 10] 2
Summary:

He loves her. They are perfect together, for each other. She completes him.

Or so he tries to tell himself.


Categories: Jim and Pam
Characters: Jim/Karen, Jim/Pam
Genres: Angst
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 550 Read Count: 3047 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: January 08, 2008 Updated: January 08, 2008
Reviewer: Alex Wert Signed
Date: January 10, 2008 Title: Chapter 1: Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Bwa ha ha ha.

Jim Halpert Is A Bad Breaker-Upper by ExtremelyGruntled Rated: M [Reviews - 30] 17
Summary: Past Featured StorySeeing how poorly Jim handled breaking up with Katy and then with Karen inspired me to explore how he may have handled previous relationships.
Categories: Jim and Pam, Past
Characters: Jim
Genres: Angst, Drunk Pam/Jim, Fluff
Warnings: Adult language, Moderate sexual content, Other Adult Theme
Series: None
Chapters: 7 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 7904 Read Count: 11888 ePub Downloads: 1
[Report This] Published: January 12, 2008 Updated: February 19, 2008
Reviewer: Alex Wert Signed
Date: January 14, 2008 Title: Chapter 2: Kathryn: Accidentally Cheated On

Idiot.  You're not supposed to tell!  (Well, you brag to your friends but that's different)

Reviewer: Alex Wert Signed
Date: January 15, 2008 Title: Chapter 3: Denise: Called "Pam" In A Moment Of Intimacy

Just seeing the title of part 3 made me laugh.  Bwa ha ha ha.

Dinner Party by dundiefromgod Rated: T [Reviews - 12] 7
Summary: When Michael hosts a dinner party at his Condo, relationships, stomachs, and patiences are all tested. A script-based spec. on a forthcoming (hopefully) Office episode.
Categories: Jim and Pam, Other, Episode Related
Characters: Ensemble
Genres: Claustrophobic Spaces, Humor
Warnings: None
Series: The Office Scripts
Chapters: 2 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 3905 Read Count: 6080 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: January 15, 2008 Updated: January 19, 2008
Reviewer: Alex Wert Signed
Date: January 19, 2008 Title: Chapter 2: Act One

Michael J. Fox must be so proud.

Andy Bernard Can Wear Stripes and Plaid by Big Tuna Rated: K+ [Reviews - 4] 1
Summary: 55 words of Kandy!
Categories: Other, Present
Characters: Andy, Kelly
Genres: Drabble, Humor, Oneshot
Warnings: Mild sexual content
Challenges: 55: The Kandy Edition
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 55 Read Count: 3066 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: January 18, 2008 Updated: January 18, 2008
Reviewer: Alex Wert Signed
Date: January 18, 2008 Title: Chapter 1: Andy Bernad Can Wear Stripes and Plaid

Scary, yet not unexpected.


Author's Response:

I'm sure Andy's underwear is just as preppy as his ties. ; ) Thanks for reviewing, Alex Wert!

-Rose

Life under the Observer Effect by Annakovsky Rated: T [Reviews - 60] 27
Summary: In science, the term "observer effect" refers to changes that the act of observing will make on the phenomenon being observed.

Categories: Jim and Pam, Other, Future
Characters: Jim, Jim/Pam, Pam, Pam/Other, Ryan
Genres: Angst, Drunk Pam/Jim, Humor, Married, Romance, Weekend
Warnings: Adult language, Mild sexual content
Series: None
Chapters: 5 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 19046 Read Count: 17104 ePub Downloads: 4
[Report This] Published: January 21, 2008 Updated: January 25, 2008
Reviewer: Alex Wert Signed
Date: January 21, 2008 Title: Chapter 1: My, she was yar.

I think Melissa is going to be really pissed off that you stole her title.  I also think that she's going to be the opposite of pissed off at how good this is so far.

Author's Response: Wow, I'm not on MTT very much, so had no idea there was another fic with a similar title. I've changed my title accordingly. Thanks for your kind and understanding comment.

Reviewer: Alex Wert Signed
Date: January 22, 2008 Title: Chapter 2: The course of true love gathers no moss.

The hand towel has Rosie the Riveter on it.  It's this kind of not throwaway detail that you have in your writing that has always made me a fan.  And I did like the very subtle Ryan/Hunter undertones.

Author's Response: Thank you!

Reviewer: Alex Wert Signed 10
Date: January 23, 2008 Title: Chapter 3: Ah, that's the old redhead. No bitterness, no recrimination, just a good swift left to the jaw.

Well this is certainly a different type of fic than... well... anything I've ever seen in this fandom.

I don't think I could make it through two minutes of Nickelback. 



Author's Response:

Hee, well, I'm always aiming for uniqueness! And I agree on the Nickelback.

 Thanks for reviewing!

Reviewer: Alex Wert Signed
Date: January 24, 2008 Title: Chapter 4: Doggone it, C. K. Dexter Haven. Either I'm gonna sock you or you're gonna sock me.

So now that he's actually at Applebee's, he wonders if his motivation was more his desire to annoy Jim Halpert for no good reason, or Applebee's moderately priced high-quality comfort food. It might be a tie – he never gets to eat chicken fingers in New York.

Best fic paragraph ever. I wish everyone wrote like you.



Author's Response: Oh man, thank you!

stuck to the ceiling, don't mean a thing by 69 cups of noodles Rated: K+ [Reviews - 8] 3
Summary: After the holidays, Jim gets left in charge of the office a lot. (Jim, Michael)
Categories: Present
Characters: Jim, Jim/Pam, Michael, Pam, Ryan
Genres: Angst, Oneshot
Warnings: Adult language
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 5385 Read Count: 2126 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: January 24, 2008 Updated: January 24, 2008
Reviewer: Alex Wert Signed
Date: January 24, 2008 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Dwight goes through his own kind of seven stages of grief, the first stage being "tyranny" and the ending stage being "silent, mopey tyranny".

That was perfect.

This is very strangely depressing and existential, and may be the only good thing to come out of Survivor Man.



Author's Response:

Haha, I agree it's pretty depressing, but then again, so is having no direction in life.

Thanks for reading, and I'm glad you liked it!

Birthday, Take Two by 823freckles Rated: MA [Reviews - 12] 6
Summary: Pam has big plans for Jim’s birthday…until she finds the tapes.
Categories: Jim and Pam, Present
Characters: Dwight, Jim, Jim/Karen, Jim/Pam, Michael, Pam
Genres: Steamy
Warnings: Adult language, Explicit sexual content
Series: None
Chapters: 2 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 4491 Read Count: 12843 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: February 03, 2008 Updated: June 06, 2008
Reviewer: Alex Wert Signed
Date: February 03, 2008 Title: Chapter 1: Part 1

Mua ha ha ha!  Ahem. Mua ha ha.

Dunder Hall, This is Pam by italianfood Rated: T [Reviews - 215] 44
Summary: The whole office works and lives together in Dunder Hall in college.
Categories: Jim and Pam, Alternate Universe
Characters: Ensemble, Jim/Pam
Genres: Angst, Drunk Pam/Jim, Fluff, Romance
Warnings: Moderate sexual content
Series: None
Chapters: 40 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 80607 Read Count: 166790 ePub Downloads: 26
[Report This] Published: February 06, 2008 Updated: April 16, 2008
Reviewer: Alex Wert Signed
Date: February 25, 2008 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Engineer major?  I'm not sure if I should be offended or not if Dwight looks like an engineer.

I'm guessing electrical.



Author's Response: Aerospace actually. Sorry if that did offend you though. I was trying to make Pam have a very stereotypical view of college because of the things she had seen or heard.

He Wants Revenge by dmscranton Rated: MA [Reviews - 27] 7
Summary:

Pam's life is threatened when she gets kidnapped by someone she knows. Will Jim and the police find her in time to save her?

(Last chapter just added, all finished up!) 


Categories: Jim and Pam, Future, Alternate Universe
Characters: Jim, Jim/Pam, Other, Pam, Pam/Other
Genres: Horror, Suspense
Warnings: Adult language, Dubious Consent, Other Adult Theme, Violence/Injury
Series: None
Chapters: 10 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 7175 Read Count: 28517 ePub Downloads: 9
[Report This] Published: February 22, 2008 Updated: February 24, 2008
Reviewer: Alex Wert Signed
Date: February 25, 2008 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 9

Kidnapping?  What kind of awful person would write such a thing?

Author's Response: You? No? ;)

Five Nice Things Toby's Received From His Coworkers by Steph Rated: T [Reviews - 5] 3
Summary: Everyone needs to have a good day every once in awhile. Sometimes it's the little things that get you through the day.
Categories: Other
Characters: Jim, Karen, Kelly, Oscar, Ryan, Toby
Genres: Angst
Warnings: Other Adult Theme
Series: None
Chapters: 5 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 4747 Read Count: 8493 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: March 16, 2008 Updated: March 16, 2008
Reviewer: Alex Wert Signed
Date: March 17, 2008 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3 - A Compliment

“I bet you’d choose Ryan though. To sleep with. But too bad for you. Because I asked him once and he’s completely straight. Like me.”

Yep.

P.S.  You = funny. 

Easter: Eggsact Position -- Schrute Farms by Too Late Kev Rated: K [Reviews - 18] 4
Summary: Jim and Pam take their children to an egg hunt at Schrute Farms one Easter. Like any time spent at Schrute Farms, it's not what they expect.

Categories: Jim and Pam, Future
Characters: Dwight/Angela, Jim/Pam, Mose
Genres: Holiday, Married
Warnings: None
Series: Holiday: Just One Day Out Of Life
Chapters: 3 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 5934 Read Count: 7441 ePub Downloads: 1
[Report This] Published: March 22, 2008 Updated: April 06, 2008
Reviewer: Alex Wert Signed
Date: March 26, 2008 Title: Chapter 2: Easter Sunday: Clipboards and Compasses and Chickens, Oh, My!

Even I could never have thought of a plot so... strange.  Hence, perfect Schrute.

Author's Response:

You're selling yourself short.  You've already thought up way stranger stuff than this.

It's nice to see you around again.  Are you coming back to the forum?  You've been missed.  Not by Ryan, but... ;)  I noticed you were writing again.  I haven't read it yet -- I'm way behind on reading.  But it was good to see you were writing. :)

Thanks for reading and reviewing, Alex Wert.  You'll have to read the final chapter when it's posted to see if it gets stranger or more normal.  It is Schrute Farms, though, so... 

idk, my bff jim? by Tragedy Tay Rated: T [Reviews - 22] 17
Summary: Past Featured StoryHe goes out, he works, he does not call Pam, even when he's drunk and calls the office, he somehow gets Dwight's extension instead of the main desk, and the following Monday he recieves a very long pamphlet on alcohol abuse, narrated by a green panda.

Categories: Jim and Pam
Characters: Jim/Pam
Genres: Romance
Warnings: Adult language, Moderate sexual content
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 4059 Read Count: 4372 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: April 12, 2008 Updated: April 12, 2008
Reviewer: Alex Wert Signed
Date: April 13, 2008 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

That was most excellent in a very neurotic way.

The 10 Worst Pick Up Lines, or how I banged my boss by Muggins Rated: T [Reviews - 9] 3
Summary:

The worst thing about the internet is spam filters. Just ask Pam.


Categories: Jim and Pam, Past
Characters: Michael
Genres: Holiday, Humor
Warnings: Mild sexual content
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 2678 Read Count: 5068 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: April 17, 2008 Updated: April 17, 2008
Reviewer: Alex Wert Signed
Date: April 17, 2008 Title: Chapter 1: 10 Worst Pick Up Lines

Hey.... I've used those!

The Footnotes by Steph Rated: T [Reviews - 10] 6
Summary: In the big picture, the epic love story of Scranton, they were just the footnotes.
Categories: Other
Characters: Karen, Toby, Toby/Other
Genres: None
Warnings: Adult language
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 3223 Read Count: 1863 ePub Downloads: 2
[Report This] Published: April 22, 2008 Updated: April 22, 2008
Reviewer: Alex Wert Signed
Date: April 22, 2008 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

If any two characters deserve better lives, its these two.  Thanks for writing something other than schmoopy jam like everyone else!